The Hardest Gift You Will Ever Receive

What if the thing you've been praying for has been in front of you all along...

...you just didn't recognize the wrapping paper?

This conversation might change the way you see God, yourself, and the gifts you've been overlooking.

Grab your coffee, sister girlfriend. Let's talk.

Transcript

Welcome And A Deeper Lesson

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Welcome to It's a Single Mom Thing. The show for Single Moms by Single Moms. This is Sherry, your host, and I am happy you are here today. It's a single mom thing, and not the simple thing that stops you.

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Hey there, sister girlfriend. So pour yourself another cup of coffee and let's have a little heart to heart. You know, one of the things I just love about this podcast that I hope you are too seeing is that God has this strange way of teaching me something first, and then somewhere along the way I realize, oh, this isn't just for me. Maybe you've noticed that pattern. Well, this week, oops, he did it again. And honestly, I didn't see this one coming. I thought God was teaching me about one thing. Well, here's what's funny about God. Turns out he was teaching me something way deeper.

Can You Receive Instead Of Give?

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So let me ask you something. When was the last time you stopped and thought about how well you receive? I said it, how well you receive, not give, but receive. Now, trust me, I know that seems kind of strange to ask that question, right? I mean, listen, I would have never asked myself that either. In fact, if someone had asked me just a few weeks ago if I was a good receiver, honestly, I probably would have laughed and said, well, um, I don't know. Never really thought about that. But that's exactly what God has been gently, gently uncovering in my own life. And ladies, listen, I have a feeling I'm probably not the only one. So today we're going to talk about what I believe may be one of the hardest gifts you'll ever receive. And I know it's kind of funny the title, right? Because who doesn't love to receive some good gifts? You know, like birthdays, Christmas, a surprise package on your doorstep. Oh, I will take them all. Yes, please. But, but the kind of gift we're talking about today isn't wrapped in pretty paper with a beautiful bow on top. Of course not. It's a gift, however, that has the power to change your life. And listen, if you are willing to receive it. And believe it or not, for a whole lot of us, that is the hardest part. What if you don't even know? So listen, have you ever noticed the hardest blind spots to see are the ones we think are our strengths? Think about it, and here's what I mean by that, okay? So check it. We wear phrases like these, almost like badges of honor, okay? Oh, I'm just independent. Oh, I don't like asking for help. I don't want to be a burden. I've got it. Or how about this one? Because I know we all say this one. I'm fine. Sound familiar, right? Well, as single moms, we almost have to become that woman, right? Because life demands it. We become resourceful, we become resilient, we become responsible, we even become really, really, really good at carrying the load. And you know what? People celebrate us for it, right? Girl, look at you, you are so strong. I don't know how you do it. You make it all look so easy. Boy, do we have them fooled, right? Probably even ourselves. So, can I ask you something else? Listen, let's think about that. So, what if the very thing people applaud is quietly keeping us from experiencing something God wants to give us? Mmm, that's provocative, right? I never thought I'd ask myself this question. It was way too deep for me until God asked me, Sherry, how are you at receiving? Not giving, receiving. Y'all. I honestly did not know how to answer that question. It hit me right in the blind spot because I have never, ever, ever thought about receiving as something that you could actually struggle with. Am I right? I mean, giving? Absolutely. I can serve, I can encourage. That is one of my talents, my spiritual gifts. I can help, I can organize a meal train, I can pray with somebody, I can show up, but receiving, ooh, that is a whole different story. So then I started paying attention. Hmm. So have you ever noticed? I'm just asking, how uncomfortable we get when someone wants to bless us. Listen, I know I'm not preaching to the choir here, but like, okay, check it. Like when somebody buys our coffee, uh, do you say things like this? Oh, you don't have to do that. Or someone offers to watch the kids. No, no, no, no, no, I've got this. Or when someone compliments us, compliments us. Oh, this old thing. Or someone offers to help financially. Oh, no, no, no, I couldn't. Sound familiar. Isn't that kind of interesting? We'll move heaven and earth to help someone else. But when it's our turn to receive, we almost instinctively push it away. And have you ever thought about that? And you know, so I find that very interesting as I think about that. And here's what I think God might be gently, gently whispering to my heart and possibly yours. And this is what I think it sounds like. Sherry, I don't think you have a giving problem. I think you have a receiving problem. Uh, that's an ouch. Not because, check it, not because I didn't want good things, but let's talk about that. Possibly because somewhere along the way, I had become much more comfortable earning than receiving. And girlfriend, I have a feeling I am probably not sitting on this couch by myself today.

Survival Mode Becomes An Identity

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When survival becomes your identity. So, why is receiving so hard? I mean, I don't think it's because we're stubborn, I don't even think it's because we don't want good things. I think, I think, I think, I think it's because many of us have spent so much of our lives in survival mode that we don't know any other way to live. And check it, right? As single moms, survival wasn't a choice. It was necessary. You had mouths to feed, bills to pay, kids to raise, decisions to make. You learn how to stretch a dollar, fix a problem, and keep putting one foot in front of the other even when you were exhausted or even sick. And then somewhere along the way, survival stopped being a season, it became an identity. That's pretty good, right? So, can you identify that? So, maybe, listen, maybe you weren't just surviving anymore, but you were still living like you were. So, let's paint a little picture here. I want to paint one for you. And do me this favor if you're not driving. Hold your hand out in front of you for just a second. Now make a fist. That's what survival looks like. A clenched fist. What can it do? A clenched fist can bite, a clenched fist can protect, a clenched fist can hold on, but a clenched fist cannot receive. Woo-hoo, right? Yeah, I'm I have even noticed, I don't know about you, but there are times when I wake up in the morning and my fists are clenched. So when that thought hit me, I literally look down at my own hands and I find myself doing it often throughout the day. And so then I started to wonder, how long have I been walking through life with my fists clenched? Not because I was angry, not because I was bitter, but because I was trying to hold everything together. Maybe that's you today. Maybe you've gotten so good at carrying the weight that you don't even realize how heavy it has become. Maybe you've become so responsible that asking for help feels uncomfortable. Oh, I know that hit somebody because that has hit me. Maybe someone offers to bless you, and before they can even finish the sentence, you're already saying, Oh, no, no, no, no, I'm good, I've got it. You don't have to do that, sister. What if the strongest thing you'll ever do? And I'm going to challenge you here, what if the strongest thing you'll ever do isn't holding on tighter? What if it's simply opening your hands? You know, I have to be honest with you. As I was praying through this message, I caught myself thinking, you know, I wish I had learned this years ago when I was in the thick of being a single mom. I wish someone would have sat across from the table from me and said, Sherry, you don't have to spend your whole life proving how strong you are. And then no sooner did I say those words than I feel a little nudge from God gently reminding me of something. Are you ready? Because I know it's not just for me, it's for you too. Some lessons can only be understood after you've stopped running. Oof. That one settled deep in my heart. Ooh, it hit. Because if I'm honest, I don't know about you. I have spent a lot of years running, running from pain, running toward achievement, running to fix things, running because survival doesn't leave much room for some stillness. So maybe that's why I couldn't receive this lesson. Not because God wasn't teaching me, but because I wasn't yet in a place where I could hear him. And maybe that's true for you. Maybe you're listening today thinking, you know, I wish I would have known this 10 years ago. Well, friend, listen, don't miss the gift because you're focused on the timing. God has a way of teaching us what we need when our hearts are finally ready to receive it. So before we move on, can I tell you something I don't want you to miss? So pull in a little closely to me on this couch. I am not in no way, shape, or form making survival the villain. Because survival was a gift. It got you through the divorce, it got you through the sleepless nights, it got you through the bills you didn't know how you were going to pay. It even got you through the season when you weren't sure how you were going to make it. Thank God for some survival. It was never your enemy. But I want to say this softly to you, friend. Every gift has a season. Winter coats are wonderful until you're still wearing one in the middle of July. Training wheels are exactly what a child needs until they've become the very thing keeping them from riding freely. Survival wasn't the destination, it was the bridge. And I wonder if some of us are still living on the bridge, the suspension bridge, right? When God has been inviting us to the other side. Maybe, maybe, maybe, just maybe that's why receiving feels so difficult. Because survival taught us how to hold on. Think about that, that closed hands, fists clenched. While God is teaching us to open our hands. You know, and here's what surprised me the most. Sometimes I don't think we reject God's gifts because we don't want them. I mean, we keep asking for them. But I do think we tend to reject them because they don't arrive looking the way they we imagined they would. So let's talk about that. When God's gifts come wrapped in unexpected paper. So before we go any further, I want to make sure that we're all hearing this the way I believe God intended it. When I talk about opening our hands to receive, I am not saying every opportunity is from God. I'm not saying every relationship belongs in your life. I'm not even saying every open door should be walked through. Scripture is very clear that we

Discerning Gifts Without Rushing

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are to pray for wisdom and discernment. So this isn't about lowering our standards. It is, however, about lifting our perspective. Because here's what I've realized. Sometimes I make a decision about something before I ever invited God into it. Ooh, who am I talking to right now? Right? I mean, I evaluate it, compare it, analyze it, overanalyze it, accept it, reject it. And only afterward do I stop and ask, uh, Lord, what do you see? Maybe, uh, maybe that should have been my first question all along. Just saying, because here's what I've noticed: something about myself that I am willing to be vulnerable to share with you. And maybe you can relate. Whenever something shows up at just the right time, I have this tendency to think immediately, oh, this must be from God. And before I even prayed about it, I've already packed my bags, rearranged my calendar, made a plan, and started moving. Anybody else? I've even realized something else. Sometimes I mistake urgency for God's voice. And they're not the same thing. Just because something arrives at the right time doesn't automatically mean it's from God. And just because something is from God doesn't mean I have to rush. You see, God isn't intimidated by time. He's the author of it, right? So if I started praying a different prayer, possibly, instead of asking, God, is this from you? And instead, if I started asking, Father, and I love this, oh, Father, help me see this the way you see it before I decide what it is. Can you hear the power and distinction in that? I mean, ah, that is a game changer for me, and I hope it will be for you. That little prayer has slowed down, pumped the brakes on my heart just a little bit more than anything else. Because discernment, my friend, isn't just about knowing what's right, it's about refusing to let urgency make the decision before wisdom has had a chance to speak. And here's what I've noticed about our father: his gifts rarely come wrap the way we expect. Am I right? Let's think about scripture for a moment here, okay? You're gonna love this, just like I did when I discovered it. So Moses, he prayed for freedom, right? God answered with a wilderness. Joseph dreamed of influence. God wrapped it in a prison. David was anointed king and then spent years living in caves. The disciples expected a conquering king. God sent a baby in a manger who would one day hang on a cross. Ladies, check it. The wrapping paper didn't make sense, but the gift, the gift was always there. So now hear me carefully. I'm not saying every difficult thing is a gift, and I'm certainly not saying every relationship or opportunity is God's best for your life. Some things need to be walked away from. Some doors need to stay close. Some relationships are unhealthy. That's where discernment comes in. Discernment isn't forcing every package open like a Christmas present. Discernment is inviting God to tell you which ones to unwrap. I mean, whoo! That'll preach all by itself, right? Because listen, I wonder, I wonder if you wonder how many times I've looked at the wrapping paper, how many times have you looked at the wrapping paper, decided what was inside? You know, we we pick up that box and we start shaking it, right? Without ever asking first our father, how many times have I prayed for peace, but rejected the slower pace that creates it? How many times have I prayed for community, but kept everyone at arm's length because vulnerability felt too risky? How many times have I prayed for healing, then resisted the very conversations that exposed the places God wanted to heal? How many times have I prayed for wisdom yet rushed to conclusions before seeking God's perspective? Ladies, before you decide what something is, can I encourage you to ask your father what he sees? Because sometimes the greatest miracle isn't that God changes the gift. Sometimes the greatest miracle is that he changes our perspective. And listen, when he does, when we realize he wasn't just trying to answer our prayer, he was trying to transform the one who prayed it. The first gift we tried to earn. So listen, as I kept praying through this message, God took me all the way back to the Garden of Eden. And at first I thought, really, Lord, uh, we are gonna go all the way back to Genesis. We're gonna go BC here. But the more I sat with it, the more I realized the struggle to receive didn't just begin with me. Excuse me. It began with humanity. Have you ever noticed? And I want to ask you this, have you

Eden And The Lie Of Earning

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ever noticed, okay, the first temptation in the garden wasn't really about the fruit? Excuse me for a second. Okay, I'm back. So interesting. It wasn't really about the fruit. Well, then what was it, Sherry? What was it about? In my opinion, it was about trust. The serpent, and this is why I think that because the serpent didn't start by handing Eve a piece of fruit, did he? He started by planting a question. Did he really say blah blah blah? In other words, can you really trust God's heart? Is he really good? Is he holding out on you? Because if the enemy, ladies, check it, if the enemy can get us to question the father's heart, we will eventually start reaching for things the father never asked us to take. Think about it. Adam and Eve already had everything they needed to live in a relationship with God, right? I mean, everything. They walked with him, they were fully known, fully loved, completely accepted. Their identity wasn't something they were trying to earn. It had already been given to them. They were created in the image of God. They belonged before they ever did anything to deserve it. But the serpent whispered, What if there's more? What if God is holding something back? A little FOMO there. What if you need to become something you're not? Girlfriend. Isn't that still the whisper today, right? And it sounds like this. What if you're not enough? What if you need to prove yourself? What if you need to earn your worth? What if you need to take control? It's the same lie, just wearing some different clothes. And here's what happened. Instead of trusting what God had already said about them, right? They reached for what they believe they still needed to become. I mean, have you ever done that? Because I know I have. I have reached for approval. I have reached for certainty. I have reached for control. I have reached for outcomes. Not because I didn't love God, but because in those moments, and this is a gut check here, I forgot to trust his heart. Maybe that's why receiving feels so unnatural. Because ever since Eden, y'all, ever since back in the day when the first peeps walked this earth, humanity has been striving to achieve what God has always, always, always, always long to give. Even today in 2026. The world says become, but Jesus says belong. The world says earn it. Jesus says receive it. The world says prove yourself. Jesus says, abide in me. Do you see and even feel the difference? I don't know about you, but one leaves us exhausted because we are always running. But the other, though, invites us into a relationship, relationship simply. And here's the beautiful part of the story. God didn't give up on us. From the very beginning, He had a rescue plan. Not one where we somehow climb our way back to him, but rather one where he would come to us. Because that's who our Father is. You know, and then as I explored this even more inside of thinking about this this morning, something else hit me. You know, in the garden, humanity reached for a tree, believing it would give them life. And here's where we go, all Calvary up in here. Jesus gave his life on a tree so we could receive it. I know it hits deep, right? One tree reminds us what happens when we strive apart from God. However, the other tree reminds us what happens when God gives what we could not earn. The whole Bible from Genesis to Revelation is the story of a father pursuing his children, inviting them, not to strive harder, but to come home, to trust his heart, to open their hands, to receive what his love has already, already, already, already provided. And girlfriend, I wonder if that's what he's inviting us into today. Not to become someone else, but to finally believe what he's been saying about us all along, beloved. Meeting the Father. So as I was praying through this message, right? Listen, he took me even farther. He led me to David and then to Jesus. So you know what I find so fascinating about this is that David, if you remember, as we've heard many a times, if you've been in church for a while, that David was who? He was remembered as a man after God's own heart. You know, that's always perplexed me, and I don't know about you, but

David And The Father Who Runs

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it has for me. I've heard that verse the whole life, my whole life, but this week I have found myself wondering, what if David wasn't remembered because he never failed? What if he was remembered because he never stopped returning to the father's heart? I mean, really think about that. I don't know about you, but that one hits deep because David failed big time. He made heartbreaking choices, he carried deep regret. Yet when Nathan the prophet confronted him, David didn't run farther from God, he ran back to him. That's where Psalms 51 comes from. One of the most honest prayers in all of Scripture. I beg you to read it. It is so good. Because David doesn't bargain, he doesn't negotiate, he doesn't promise to do better if God will just give him another chance. He simply prays, create in me a clean heart, oh God. I love that because David isn't asking God to polish up that old heart, he's asking God to create something new to what only God can do. Ladies, that's not striving, that's surrender, that's receiving. And maybe that's why David was called a man after God's own heart. Not because he never wondered, but because he always knew where to return. And listen, I am sure that is no coincidence because through David's family line came what? Came Jesus. The one who didn't just teach us about the Father's heart, he revealed it. When Jesus forgave, we saw the Father's heart. When Jesus welcomed children, we saw the Father's heart. When Jesus touched the untouchable, we saw the Father's heart. When Jesus sat with sinners, we saw the father's heart. And then Jesus tells us what we often, what we often call the story of the prodigal son. But here's where I want to flip that script for a moment. Can I let you in on something? I don't think the prodigal is the main character. And some of you might be like, what? That's all I've ever known it to be. Perhaps, and this is what he's been showing me, I think it is the father. Think about the son for a minute, okay, right? He's been rehearsing his speech the whole way home. And it may have sound like, father, I've sinned. I'm no longer worthy. Make me like one of your servants. Can I tell you what I think? I think he's negotiating. He's trying to earn what the father has already decided to give. I mean, how often do we do that? We come to God with our speeches, right? And it sounds like, God, if you'll just forgive me, I promise, I promise I'll do better. I'll read my Bible more, I'll serve more, I'll be a better mom. I'll even get my life together. And before we can even finish our speech, am I right? Our father, our father is already running towards us. The father never lets the son finish. He interrupts him with an embrace, with a robe, with a ring, with sandals, with a beast. You see, the son brought shame, but the father brought celebration. The son expected probation. The father restored sonship. The son came home trying to become a servant. Oh no, but the father, oh, the father reminded him, you've never stopped being my son. Whew. That will preach, girl, because maybe, maybe, maybe that's why our father has been trying to tell us all along. Stop negotiating, girl. Stop performing, stop striving to become who I've already declared you to be. Receive. Receive my forgiveness. Receive my grace. Receive my love. Receive your identity. Because orphans negotiate. But my sons and daughters, they receive. Whoo, I know I sounded like a preacher there. And I'm preaching to myself here, okay? But listen, can we just pause for a moment? Because I don't think this is just another podcast episode. I think the father may be speaking to some hearts today and not just mine. So listen, wherever you are, whether you're driving in your car, folding laundry, walking around the neighborhood, or maybe you're sitting with a cup of coffee, would you just take a slow deep breath with me? That's right. And let's pray. Father, thank you for loving us before we ever knew how to love you. Thank you that before we ever reached for you, you were already reaching for us. Forgive us for the places where we've questioned your heart. Forgive us for believing we had to earn what you've freely offered through Jesus. Forgive us for the ways we've allowed fear, shame, urgency, and survival to come louder

A Prayer For Open Hands

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than your voice. Today, Father God, we open our hands, not because we have everything figured out, but rather because we are learning to trust the one who does. Father, help us see what you see. Show us where we've been striving when you've simply been inviting us to abide. Heal the places in us that still believe we have to prove ourselves. And remind us today that because of Jesus, we are fully known, deeply loved, completely forgiven, and forever your beloved daughters. We receive that today, not because we've earned it, but because you delight in giving it. In Jesus' mighty and matchless name, amen. Living with open hands. So where do we go from here? Maybe you're asking yourself that question like I did. Because if you are anything like me, you've probably, you're probably not going to wake up tomorrow morning and suddenly become the world's greatest receiver. Am I right? Because I know I'm not. This isn't about becoming perfect overnight and perfect, do you know me is not the word. I do not like perfect. It's about becoming aware, though. Maybe that's where change begins. Not by trying harder, but by

Daily Questions That Slow You Down

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noticing. Noticing when your fists tighten. Noticing when your first response is, oh, I've got this. I don't need some help. I am fine. No, we are talking about noticing when you're rushing to make a decision, decision, before you've invited the father into it. Noticing when you're trying to earn what he's already freely given. Because listen, I have started asking myself a few simple questions. And it sounds like this, father. What do you see that I don't? Is this something you want me to receive or something you want me to release? And I am making this decision. Am I making this decision from fear or from faith? Am I striving or am I abiding? Girlfriend, those questions have changed the way I walk with God. I got me a little pep in my step. Not because I always get the answers immediately. Oh no, but because they have slowed me down enough to hear his voice. I've also realized something else too. Open hands don't mean we stop using wisdom. Oh no, open hands don't mean we stop having boundaries either. Open hands don't mean we say yes to everyone or everything. Open hands simply mean we've stopped trying to be our own source. We've decided we'd rather walk with our father than run ahead of him. And I don't know about you, but that's the kind of woman I want to become. Not a woman who has it all figured out and has all the answers, no. But rather a woman who knows where to go to for them. Not a woman who never struggles, but a woman who keeps returning to the father's heart. And certainly not a woman who has to prove she's enough. A woman who finally, finally, finally believes she already belongs. Maybe, ladies, that's what Jesus meant when he said, Abide, abide in me, not achieve for me. Abide, remain, rest, receive. Because the opposite of striving, it isn't laziness, it's abiding. So in closing, girls, before we go, can I leave you with just one last thought? And I know I've left you with a lot. This week, I want to challenge you. Every time you catch yourself saying, I got, I've got it all figured out. I don't need anybody, I just can handle it. I need you to pause for a second. Pause for the cause, take a breath, and pray one simple prayer. It's a game changer. And I listen, I am doing this with you. Father, help me see what you see. Not what fear sees, not what shame sees, not what urgency sees, but what you see. Because I have a feeling that little prayer has the power to change more than just your circumstances. I think it has the power to change your perspective. Ooh. And sometimes that's where the miracle begins. That's what I'm finding out, sister girlfriend. So if today's conversation, listen, if today's conversation spoke to your heart, don't let it end there. Sister, you need to sit with it, journal about it, read Psalms 51 this week, and then go back and read the story of the prodigal son again. But from the lens of the Father. Don't focus on the Son, watch the Father. So then next, I want you to ask God, our Father, to reveal his heart to you.

Next Steps And Shepherd’s Village

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Because I have a feeling he has been pursuing yours all along. And I know the single mom's listening today, you are probably wondering, well, where do I even begin? So can I encourage you one last time? You don't have to have it all figured out today. You just have to take your next step. That's exactly listen, that's why we created shepherdsvillage.com. Whether you're looking for encouragement, a community that understands practical resources classes, this podcast, or simply trying to figure out what your next step looks like. We would love to walk alongside you at Shepherd's Village. Because listen, we are not a shelter, we are a village. A shelter? Well, that provides a place to stay, but a village provides people who stay beside you. Our heart has always been to help single moms and their kids face their future with confidence. So if you're ready to take your next step, we'd love to help you find it. Visit ShepherdsVillage.com. If today's episode encouraged you like I'm sure it has, just like it has me, I would encourage you to share it with another sister girlfriend. Because listen, sometimes the greatest gift that we can give, because we're all givers, right, is helping someone else discover the father's heart. So next until next time, keep facing your future with confidence because the father who holds your future is already holding you. Have a wonderful week, and remember, it's a single mom thing, and not the single thing that stops you.

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Thanks for listening to It's a Single Mom Thing. I hope you enjoyed our time together. If you have more questions on how to have a relationship with Jesus or need prayer, visit us at www.shepherd's village.com backslash prayer. For more information and resources, check out our show notes.