You said you wanted different.

You said you wanted different.

Not perfect. Different.

In this episode of It's a Single Mom Thing, Sherry invites you to pull up a chair, grab a cup of coffee, and revisit a simple but powerful question: What did you say was important?

Somewhere between the breakthrough and the becoming, many of us get distracted. We get busy raising kids, paying bills, juggling responsibilities, and simply trying to survive. Before we know it, we've lost sight of the very things we once prayed for—peace, healing, freedom, stability, and a different future.

Through relatable stories, a few laughs, and heartfelt reflection, Sherry explores why it's so easy to drift from our purpose and how to find our way back by following the breadcrumbs we left behind.

If you've ever found yourself staring at the ceiling at 2 a.m. wondering how you got here—or if you've forgotten why you started your healing journey—this episode is for you.

Because maybe the answer isn't found in a new strategy.

Maybe it's found in remembering what you said mattered most.

Join us as we revisit the prayer, the promise, and the purpose—and discover that the God who met you in that 2 a.m. moment is still sitting at the table.

Transcript

Healing Is A Process

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to It's a Single Mom Thing, the show for Single Moms by Single Moms. This is Sherry, your host, and I am happy you are here today. Remember, it's a single mom thing, and not the single thing that stops you.

SPEAKER_01 0:15

What up, my sisters, and welcome back to another episode of It's a Single Mom Thing. If you've been hanging out with me over the last several weeks, you may have noticed we've been spending a lot of time talking about healing. We've talked about pain becoming possibility. We've talked about trusting that where God guides, he provides. We even talked about taking ownership of our healing and even fixing the things we've been trying to fix the wrong way. And if you're here thinking, Sherry, are we still talking about healing? Well, my response is kinda. Because healing isn't a destination, my friends, it is a process. In fact, one of the things I have learned about God is that He doesn't waste a season. Am I right? Even the seasons that feel slow, even the seasons that feel still, even the seasons where we'd rather be moving forward at Mach 5 speed than looking inward. Sometimes, however, I found that God uses movement to grow us. Sometimes he uses momentum to stretch us. And sometimes, yes, he even uses stillness to reveal what's really going on beneath the surface. So if you're just joining us today, ladies, don't worry, you haven't missed the bus. In fact, today's episode may be the perfect place to jump on because we're talking about something that affects every part of your healing journey. We're talking about what happens after the breakthrough. What happens after you decide you want something different? Because I have noticed something, and we're going to talk about that. And what I've noticed is that most single moms I know don't struggle with wanting change. They want healing, they want peace, they want healthier relationships, they want some financial stability, they want a stronger relationship with God. They even want something different for themselves and their children. The challenge, however, isn't knowing what they want. The challenge that I have found is remembering what they wanted when life gets loud again. It's funny, pain has a funny way of clarifying what matters. What I mean by that is when you're sitting in the middle of heartbreak, disappointment, uncertainty, or fear, suddenly you know exactly what you want. You want peace, you want freedom, you want healing, you want a better future. Pain funny strips away all the extra fluffin' stuff and helps us see clearly what matters most. But here's what I've noticed. Most people don't lose sight of what's important during the storm. They lose sight of it after. When life gets busy, when the bills still need to be paid, when the kids still need to be raised, when the healing takes longer than expected. Somewhere between the breakthrough and the becoming, we get a little distracted. We start reacting instead of reflecting, surviving instead of pursuing, existing instead of intentionally moving toward the life we said we wanted.

After The Breakthrough, We Drift

SPEAKER_01 3:40

And that's what I want to talk about today. Because listen, when you don't know what to do next, sometimes the answer isn't found in a new strategy. Sometimes it's found in remembering what you said was important when you started. So now before we go any further, let me ask you a question. Sherry style, okay? So have you ever walked into a room and completely forgotten why you went there? Not metaphorically, I'm talking literally. Like you walked into the kitchen, you stand there, and you look around. You open the refrigerator, close the refrigerator, look in the pantry, open a cabinet, and suddenly realize I have absolutely no idea why I came in here. Now, if you're a single mom, you've probably done this while carrying a laundry basket, answering a text message, helping with homework, reheating your coffee for the third time, and mentally planning dinner. Now the scary part isn't that you forgot. The scary part is that five minutes later, you're organizing a junk drawer and still don't know why you walked into the kitchen. Can anybody relate? Holla. I think we should get some bonus points for the amount of tabs we keep open in our brains every day. Seriously. What did I

What Did I Say Was Important

SPEAKER_01 5:03

say? Well, this is segment one and it is titled What Did I Say? So here's the thing. We laugh about forgetting why we walked into a room, right? Well, what if sometimes we forget why we started? Not the trip to the kitchen. I'm talking about the journey, the healing, the counseling, the class, the prayer, the boundary, the goal, the dream, even. Have you ever gotten so busy surviving that you forgot what you were surviving for? Honestly, I think a lot of us do. And we say things like, I want some peace. Then we spend all day wrestling with things that steal our peace. We say things like, I want to trust God. Then we spend all day worrying. I want a better future for my kids. Then we get so busy getting through today that we never think about tomorrow. Or how about this? Have you ever found yourself saying, I want healing? And then suddenly life gets loud and we find ourselves reacting to the very things we were trying to heal from. Psst crazy, right? And then one day we're standing in the middle of our lives just like we stood in that kitchen, scratching our head, looking around, wondering, now, wait a minute, what did I come in here for? Or maybe, maybe, aha, wait for it. The better question is, what did I say was important? Because here's what I've learned, and you know I love to share some learning moments with you. Most people, most people don't abandon their healing. They kind of drift from it. They don't wake up one morning and decide they don't want peace anymore. I'm pretty sure they don't wake up and decide they don't want a better future anymore. They don't wake up and decide that they don't want to heal anymore. They simply get distracted. The urgent replaces the important. The loud replaces the meaningful. The immediate replaces the intentional. And before they know it, they're living by reaction instead of purpose. It's funny how pain has a way of clarifying what's important, am I right? You see, the problem is that comfort has a way of making us forget. Many of us have made promises to ourselves in the middle of pain, right? We've said things like, I'm going to keep living like this, I'm going to heal, I'm going to trust God, I'm going to create something different for my children. And listen, I know we meant every word, but healing isn't a one-time decision. It's a thousand small decisions made after the pain, check it, has passed. Ladies, that's why today I want to ask you one simple question. What did you say was important? Because maybe the answer you're looking for isn't somewhere ahead of you. Maybe it's hidden something you already know. So then maybe the path forward begins by remembering why you started The answer you whispered at 2 AM Okay girlfriend, so let's talk.

The Answer You Whispered At 2 AM

SPEAKER_01 8:32

In fact, if we were sitting across from each other right now with a cup of coffee between us, I think I'd ask you a question. But however, before I asked it asked, asked, asked. Asked. A S K E D. Oof. I'd set a few ground rules. Now I'm not looking for the church answer. I'm not looking for the answer you think sounds spiritual. I'm not even looking for the answer you would post on Facebook. And I am certainly not looking for the answer everybody else wants from you. I am, however, asking for the answer you whispered to yourself when nobody was else was around. You know, the answer you cried about, prayed about, lost sleep over, the answer that showed up when life got hard and all that fluff got stripped away. Because like I said before, pain has a way of doing that. It has a way of helping us get honest. So let me ask you again. What did you say was important? Not what's urgent, not what's loud, not what's demanding your attention today? I'm gonna ask it again. What was important? Meaning, what mattered enough for you to say something has to change? What mattered enough for you to start the healing journey, anyways? What mattered enough for you to finally ask God for help? Even what mattered enough for you to believe there could be something different on the other side of this season? Because trust me, there was a moment. Maybe it was a prayer, maybe it was a conversation, maybe it was sitting in a counselor's office. Maybe I don't know it was even driving home after dropping the kids off. Or maybe some of y'all find yourself here, maybe it was a rock bottom moment when you found yourself staring at the ceiling at 2 a.m., exhausted, scared, frustrated, and wondering how in the world you got here But there was a moment a moment when you stopped accepting what was and you started hoping for what could be. A moment when you believed God might have something better. A moment when you decided surviving wasn't enough anymore. A moment when you wanted something different. And here's why I think this matters. The woman who started this healing journey, she knew exactly why she started it. So today's episode is about helping her remember. Because listen, I am not talking to a broken woman. I'm talking to a woman who's gotten distracted by life. A woman who's been busy, a woman who's been caring a lot, a woman who's been meeting everybody else's needs and forgot to check with her own heart. A woman who's been so focused on getting through the day that she hasn't stopped to ask herself where she's headed. And honestly, who can blame her? Single moms don't exactly have an abundance of free time for self-discovery, am I right? I mean, you're trying to raise your kids, pay bills, make dinner, find matching socks, answer emails, remember spirit weekend somehow still. I gotta take a breath. Hear from God over the sound of somebody yelling, Mmff, it's a lot. But somewhere in all that doing, it's easy to lose sight of the reason you started. So today I'm calling you back. Back to yourself, back to your purpose, back to your prayer, the prayer that you prayed, back to the promise, back to the thing you said mattered, back to the woman who looked at her circumstances and decided they weren't going to have the final word. Sometimes the next step in your healing journey isn't learning something new. Sometimes it's actually remembering something you already know. Sometimes it's remembering why you started. Sometimes it's remembering what you said was important. And sometimes, sister, it is remembering that God didn't bring you this far just to leave you where he found you. Girl, I see you, and I know this hits a little hard. Not because you're doing everything wrong, but because you're doing so much. And if you're sitting there thinking, oh, Cherry, oh man, like this one feels a little personal, girl, I'll get it. Because it feels personal to me too. In fact, one of the things I hear most often from listeners when they reach out to me is, Sherry, how did you know? How did you know I needed to hear that? How did you know that that's exactly what I've been struggling with? And the truth is, well, I didn't, but God did. And if I'm being completely honest, sometimes these messages show up in my life before they ever show up in yours. Sometimes I'm preparing a podcast and realize halfway through that God is talking to me. This is one of those episodes because I know what it's like to get distracted. I know what it's like to get busy. I know what it's like to be so focused on the next thing that I forgot why I started in the first place. So if you're feeling a little convicted right now, just know that you are in some good company. We are sitting at the same table, sister. We are drinking the same coffee. I just may have a different flavored creamer in there. And we are certainly asking the same question. What did I say was important? And maybe an even better question is this. How do I find my way back when I've lost sight of it?

Follow The Breadcrumbs Back

SPEAKER_01 14:50

Following the breadcrumbs back. So how do we find our way back? Well, I think we need to follow the breadcrumbs. Now, listen, before anybody emails me, uh yes, I know what happened to Hansel and Gretel's breadcrumbs, okay? The birds ate them, but stay with me for a second, okay? Because when life gets busy and we lose sight of what's important, we don't usually need a brand new destination. Girl, what we need is a way back to the one we already chose. And that's where the breadcrumbs come in. The breadcrumbs are the clues we leave ourselves along the journey. And they look like this a prayer we wrote in a journal, a promise God gave us in a scripture, a conversation we had with a trusted friend, a note we scribbled on a sticky note, a goal we once felt passionate about, or even a dream we almost forgot. The breadcrumbs, they remind us where we've been and who we wanted to become. Hmm. And maybe that's why this episode feels so timely. Well, it's summer. The kids are out of school, the routines have changed, the schedules are different, the days seem longer, but somehow the to-do lists still have to get done like tomorrow. Can anybody else relate? Just saying, summer has a funny way of pulling us out of our normal rhythm. But maybe, hmm, maybe that's not such a bad thing. Maybe actually this is your opportunity. Maybe while the kids are finding their summer adventure, maybe sister, it's time for you to find your way back too. Back to a prayer, back to a promise, back to the purpose, back to the thing you said mattered. Because here's what I know about you, and you've been trekking with me for a long time, I know this about you. The woman who started this healing journey, she left some breadcrumbs, she left some evidence. Evidence that she believed God had more. Evidence that she wanted peace. Evidence that she wanted healing. Evidence that she wanted something different. And if you've forgotten where you're headed, well then maybe today is simply about looking for the clues she left behind. Not become not to become someone new, but to reconnect maybe with the woman God was already growing you into. The question that changes everything.

The Loud Isn’t The Most Important

SPEAKER_01 17:26

So let's go back to the coffee table for a minute, okay? The coffee is probably cold by now, am I right? You've told me your story. I've shared a little of mine, we've laughed about forgetting why we walked into the kitchen. We talked about the answer you whispered at 2 a.m. And then we followed the breadcrumbs back. And now we're sitting here together. Just two girlfriends having an honest conversation. And if we're really sitting across from each other right now, I don't think I'd give you a checklist. I don't think I'd hand you a self-help book. I don't even think I'd tell you to work harder. I think possibly I'd simply slide my coffee cup aside, lean across the table, look you in the eye, and ask, girlfriend, what did you say was important? Don't answer me with what feels urgent today. Not what everybody else needs from you, not even what's stressing you out at this exact moment. I want to know what did you say was important? Because somewhere along the way, life got loud. The kids got busy, the bills piled up, the responsibilities multiplied, and you've been doing what women do. You've been carrying it all. All of it. But girlfriend, listen, the loudest thing in your life right now isn't always the most important thing in your life. I know you think it does, and it is. But listen, check it. Sometimes we get so busy responding to what's screaming for our attention that we stop pursuing what's calling us forward. Interesting, right? So let's circle back for a moment. Back to prayer, back to the promise, back to the woman, the woman staring at the ceiling at 2 AM. Back to the woman who finally got honest with herself. Back to the woman who believed God had something more for her. What did she want? What did she pray for? What did she believe for? Because I have a feeling her answer wasn't complicated. She probably wanted something like this. She wanted peace, she wanted healing, she wanted freedom, she wanted joy, she wanted stability, she wanted a stronger relationship with God. She wanted a different future for her children. I'm betting she wanted to stop surviving and start living. She wanted different not perfect, different. And maybe that's what God wanted you to remember today. Because the woman who started this journey, she wasn't wrong. She wasn't weak, and she certainly wasn't dreaming too big. She was responding to something God was stirring inside her heart. He dipped his finger in her Kool-Aid. And if you've gotten distracted along the way, girl, that's okay. Just follow the breadcrumbs back. And let's go back. Again, back to the prayer, back to the purpose, back to the promise, back to the thing you said mattered. Because the God, check this out, is powerful, because the God who met you in that 2 AM moment, he is still sitting at the table.

Martha And Mary At The Table

SPEAKER_01 20:50

As we get ready to close today, I want to take you back to one more table. Not this coffee table, a table in Bethany, a table where Martha was busy serving, a table where Mary was sitting at the feet of Jesus. And when I read that story, I don't think Jesus was upset with Martha. I think he understood her. I think he actually saw a woman caring a lot, a woman trying to make everything work, a woman meeting needs, a woman making sure everyone else was okay. A woman who had become distracted by many things. And so I sit here and I tend to wonder if that's what he sees when he looks at us sometimes. Not failure, not weakness, not even disappointment. Just a woman caring a lot. Women have gotten distracted by many things. Women who have forgotten what they said was important, and maybe today Jesus is just gently inviting us back to the table. Back to his feet. Back to his presence. Back to the thing that matters most. Lord, for the woman listening today, thank you for seeing her. Not just what she's carrying, but her. Thank you for seeing the tears she cried when nobody else was around. Thank you for hearing the prayers she whispered at 2 a.m. Thank you for remembering the dreams she has forgotten. Thank you for knowing the desires she buried beneath responsibilities, deadlines, and survival mode. Lord Jesus, I'm asking today that you would remind her. Remind her of the peace she prayed for. Remind her of the healing she longed for. Reminder of the freedom she hoped for. Remind her of the future she believed was possible. Lord, when life gets loud, remind her. When she gets distracted, remind her. When she feels discouraged, remind her. And when she forgets why she started, Lord Jesus, I ask that you gently lead her back. Back to your presence. Back to your promise. Back to your purpose for her life. Just as you called Martha out of distraction and Mary into your presence, Lord Jesus, help us choose what matters most. And thank you. Thank you, Lord. That even when we wander, you never leave the table. In the mighty name of Jesus, amen. Girlfriend, the God who met you that 2 a.m. moment is still sitting at the table. The breadcrumbs still leave home. The promise still stands. And the woman who started this journey is still inside of you. You said you wanted something different. And by God's grace, you're still on your way

Prayer And Closing Encouragement

SPEAKER_01 24:10

there. Have a wonderful week, and remember, it's a single mom bang, and not a single thing that stops you.

SPEAKER_00 24:17

Thanks for listening to It's a Single Mom Bang. I hope you enjoyed our time together. If you have more questions on how to have a relationship with Jesus or prayer, visit us at www.shepherd'svillage.com. For more information and resources,