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It's A Single Mom Thing
Welcome to “It's A Single Mom Thing,” the show for single moms by single moms, hosted by Sherry Chandler.
Being a solo momma and present parent is hard work, and losing focus is easy when you forget your faith. The good news is you are not alone. You were singled out this season, and together, we can work on what’s not working for you—finding Christ in the crisis! Whether you’re tuning in early in the morning or late at night, I’m here for you, momma.
This podcast is your go-to space for navigating life as a single mom with faith, fun, and a fresh perspective. We'll cover everything from mastering a single-mom success mindset and budgeting like a boss to prioritizing self-care and raising resilient kids. We’ll share time management hacks, parenting perspectives, co-parenting challenges, and how to find joy and laugh again. Together, we’ll move from surviving to thriving in every season of single motherhood.
Be encouraged. Get inspired. You can do this, momma.
Each Monday, join me for practical advice, relatable stories, and uplifting conversations as we walk this journey from solo momma to solo momma. I promise not to take too much of your time, and I’m so grateful you’re spending it with me.
It may be a single mom thing, but it doesn’t have to be the "single thing" that stops you!
It's A Single Mom Thing
Healing Is Our Assignment
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Healing Is Our Assignment
What if healing isn't standing in the way of your purpose?
What if healing is part of your purpose?
Many of us spend our lives asking God about our calling, our next step, our future, and our purpose while avoiding an assignment that's already sitting on our desk: healing.
As single moms, we're often experts at surviving. We keep moving, keep functioning, keep showing up for everyone else. But surviving and healing are not the same thing.
In this episode of It's A Single Mom Thing, Sherry explores what it means to accept healing as an assignment from God—not as punishment, but as preparation. Together, we'll discuss why we resist healing, how unhealed wounds can impact our relationships and children, and how God can redeem the very things He didn't cause.
You'll discover:
❤️ Why healing may be connected to your purpose
❤️ How God prepares our hearts before He expands our influence
❤️ The difference between surviving and healing
❤️ How healing can impact two generations at a time
❤️ Practical steps to begin your healing journey today
❤️ Why God isn't withholding something good—He's holding something good
If you've ever wondered why God keeps bringing you back to the same area, this episode may help you see that He's not trying to hurt you.
He's trying to heal you.
🎧 Listen now at shepherdsvillage.com/podcast or on your favorite streaming platform.
📞 Need prayer? Our 24-hour prayer line is available anytime at 855-822-PRAY.
Because healing isn't standing in the way of your purpose.
Sometimes healing is the purpose.
#ItsASingleMomThing #HealingIsTheAssignment #SingleMomLife #FaithAndHealing #ChristianPodcast #ShepherdsVillage
It's a Single Mom Thing, Not the Single Thing That Stops You!
The Healing Assignment Letter
Welcome to It's a Single Mom Thing, the show for single moms by single moms. This is Sherry, your host, and I am happy you are here today. Remember, it's a single mom thing, and not the simple thing that stops you. Have you ever noticed that we're always looking for God's assignment for our lives? Like we want to know our purpose, our calling, our next step, even. The thing that God created us to do. Now in my mind, I picture a giant heavenly job board. You know, one of those online career sites. And all of us are just scrolling through the openings. Business owner, apply. Dream relationship, apply. Financial breakthrough, apply here. Ministry leader, apply. Best selling author, definitely apply. Winning lottery recipient. Lord, if this is your will, please. We're clicking apply now on like everything. And then we scroll a little farther down and see a posting that nobody wants. And it says position available, healing. Requirements. Must be willing to be honest, must be willing to forgive, must be willing to stop running, must be willing to let God into places you've been keeping locked up. Benefits of said assignment are freedom, peace, generational impact, a deeper relationship with God. Most applicants, however, abandon the process halfway through. And immediately we're like, uh, do you have anything else available? Maybe something with, I don't know, a little less emotional heavy lifting. Perhaps, I don't know, a ministry opportunity. I'm laughing on that one. Can I just skip to the blessing? That's what some of us are probably saying. And then I want you to imagine, a week later, a certified letter shows up in your mailbox. And it's marked urgent. Well, you open it immediately, and inside is a single sheet of paper, and it says, Congratulations, your application has been accepted. You've been assigned to healing. No explanation, no timeline, no option to decline to decline. Listen to me. Just you have been assigned to healing. Now be honest with yourself, girl. How many of us would shove that letter back into the envelope and pretend we never got it? Because if we're being honest with ourselves, like we are on the show, right? Most of us are praying for a different assignment. We're asking God to show us our purpose while he's asking us to address our pain. We're asking him, Lord, what's next? While he's pointing to what happened, we're asking him to open a new door while he's inviting us to heal from what happened behind the last one.
Healing As Part Of Purpose
Welcome back to another episode of It's a Single Mom Thing. I'm your girl Sherry, and after taking a week off from the podcast, I couldn't think of a better topic to come back with than the assignment most of us didn't apply for, didn't ask for, and honestly don't want. Today we are talking about this question. What if healing isn't standing in the way of your purpose? What if, however, what if, however, healing is a part of the purpose? Whew. So let's start with that question. Okay, so what if healing isn't standing between you and your purpose, but it is part of the purpose? Well, I think a lot of us spend our lives looking for God's assignment while we completely overlook the one that's already sitting on our desk. We ask, well, uh God, what's next? Uh uh where are you leading me? Uh, what do you want me to do? And those aren't bad questions, not at all. I do them a lot. But what if, what if, this is funny, what if God is asking a different question? Uh, what if he's saying, What do I want to heal in you? Because before God often does something through us, through us, um, sometimes I think he wants to do something in us. Well, that requires some thought. We need to think about that. I don't know. We celebrate callings, we celebrate promotions, we celebrate breakthroughs, we even celebrate answer prayers. But girl, we rarely celebrate healing. In fact, I don't ever hear that unless there's like a miracle healing, like breast cancer's been, you know, someone's been healed from that. But what I'm talking about is healing healing. In fact, most of us will we avoid it. Now I know I'm right here, right? Okay, so healing is one of those few assignments that requires us to stop running long enough to feel what we've been trying not to feel. Oof. And it requires honesty, it also requires vulnerability, and it also requires a surrender. Don't like doing that a lot of times. And let's be honest, as single moms, many of us have become subject matter experts at survival. We know how to keep moving, we know how to keep functioning, we know how to show up for work, show up for our kids, pay the bills, solve problems, and somehow make it through another day. But surviving and healing, listen, they are not the same thing. Just because you survived, it doesn't mean that you've healed from it. You can survive a divorce and still carry rejection. You can survive abandon and still carry the fear. You can even survive betrayal and still struggle to trust. How about this one? You could survive hardship and still carry the wounds. So sometimes we're so focused on getting through the storm that we never stop to assess, well, what the storm left behind. Because usually, well, I don't know. In my case, with experience with storms, there's some damage. And that's where healing comes in. Not because God wants us to live in the past, but rather I think because He doesn't want the past living in us. It's a little different, right? That's worth saying again. So here we go. Healing isn't about living in the past, it's about making sure the past isn't still living in you. And I, like you, I probably have some past living up inside of me because what remains unhealed often shows up where we least expect it. Am I right? You know, it shows up in our relationships, it shows up in our parenting, it shows up in our self-worth, in our reactions, in the stories we tell ourselves. Sometimes the wound, now check this. Sometimes the wound is making decisions before we even realize it. And the wound says things like this Oh, girl, don't you trust anybody? Or you'll be abandoned again. Just trust me. Or you have to do everything yourself, girl. Or you're not enough. Who do you think you are? And long before you know it, we're listening to our wounds more than we are listening to God. But here's what I've learned, and it seems like I have learned a lot. God isn't interested in shaming us for our wounds. Praise the Lord. He is interested in healing them. The assignment isn't punishment, the assignment is freedom. And maybe that's why healing can feel so darn uncomfortable. Because freedom, listen, freedom often requires us to walk through places we'd rather walk around. Mm-hmm. I don't want to go in that mud pit right there. Yeah, no, I'm gonna get dirty. Have you seen these nice white sneakers I got on? No. And it requires us to stop staying saying, I can speak today, I'm fine, and start saying, God, I am not fine, I am hurting. It requires us to stop minimizing our pain and start inviting God into it. And perhaps, just perhaps. That's why healing is so often connected to purpose. Because check this, this is powerful. If character isn't healed, success can become dangerous. And as single moms and single women, we often dream about the next thing, right? The promotion, the relationship, the financial breakthrough, the house, the business, the opportunity, the season where things finally feel easier. But if the hurt isn't healed, my friend, we can carry unknowingly, we can carry that hurt into the very blessing we've been praying for. You see, a woman who hasn't healed from, let's say, abandonment may cling to unhealthy relationships because she's afraid of being alone. A woman who hasn't healed from, let's say, rejection may settle for less than God's best because being chosen feels more important than being valued. And I know that stings. Even check it, trustworthy people. A woman who hasn't healed from, let's say, insecurity, well, she may spend her life performing approval instead of living from acceptance. You see, success, it doesn't heal wounds. Relationships don't heal wounds. Money doesn't heal wounds. A new chapter doesn't automatically heal wounds. Only, only, only God can do that. If insecurity isn't healed, well then promotion can become overwhelming. If a dre listen to me, if rejection isn't healed, we'll spend our lives looking for people to validate what only God can settle. So let's be honest with ourselves. Many of us know what that looks like. We look for validation from, let's say, a boyfriend, from an ex-spouse, from a from social media, from our children, from our work, validation from how busy we are, validation from whether someone chooses us. All because we're trying to answer a question God already answered. Am I enough? In Christ, the answer was settled long, long, long before anyone rejected you. Long before anyone left, long before anyone broke your heart, long before your relationship status changed, the cross settled your value. Okay, this next little statement may be a little confusing. I had to read it a couple times to make sure I was reading it right. But check it. I'm gonna say it slow. God isn't just preparing where he's taking you, he's preparing you for where he's taking you. The truth is, some of us are asking God to give us the next chapter while he's still editing the current one. Not because he's withholding something good. I have heard this before. This is what he has told me. It's because he's holding something good. Did you hear the difference? He's not withholding, he is actually holding something good, something worth waiting for, something worth preparing for, something that requires a healthier, stronger, more healed version of us to fully receive it. Why? Well, because he loves us and he loves us enough enough not only to bless us, but to prepare us for the blessing. And sometimes, girl, the preparation looks a lot like healing. So maybe the question that we need to ask ourselves today isn't what's my next assignment? Maybe the question is, have I accepted the one God's already offering? Because what if healing, my friends, isn't a detour from your purpose? What if healing is a part of the path that leads you there?
Why Single Moms Avoid Healing
Why we resist the assignment? So if healing is such a good assignment, why do we why do so many of us avoid it? Hmm, that's a good one. Why do we keep putting it off? Why do we keep saying, um, yeah, maybe later? Well, I think it's because healing asks us to do something most of us have spent years trying not to do. Feel. Oof, that's so true. For many of us, survival became the goal. Oh, not healing and not thriving. I'm talking just barely surviving. And honestly, that makes some sense. You see, when we're trying to keep a roof over your head, food on the table, and your kids moving forward, you don't always have the luxury of sitting down and processing your pain. You do what needs to be done. You keep moving, you keep functioning, you keep showing up, you become strong. But somewhere along the way, strength can become of the skies. Because what looks like strength on the outside can sometimes be unaddressed pain on the inside. You see, some of us aren't healed, we are just busy. Some of us aren't free, we are just distracted. Some of us haven't moved on, we are just simply moved. You see, but healing, well, healing asks us to stop long enough to examine what's still hurting. And that is some scary stuff. Because some of us have built entire lives around avoiding certain pain. Oh, we don't go there. Oh, we don't talk about that. Oh no, we don't even think about that. We do not tell that story, we do not ask those questions in this household, we do not revisit those memories because what if it hurts all over again? But again, hmm, with age comes learning, right? Here's what I've learned. The things we refuse to face often continue to follow us. You know I'm right. You know the pain that we ignore, it doesn't disappear. What does it do? It usually waits. And eventually it shows up somewhere else. It shows up as, hello, my name's anxiety. It shows up as anger, it shows up as fear, as people pleasing, it shows up as control, as exhaustion. It even shows up as walls we never intended to build. We think we are protecting ourselves, but sometimes we are imprisoning ourselves. And then there's another reason we resist healing, and that's because we confuse healing with reliving. Now listen to that. That's pretty powerful. Here's what I mean by that. We think if we address the wound, well, then we are moving backwards. But here's the truth: healing isn't about reliving the pain, healing is about removing its power, it's about allowing God to enter places we've been guarding for years. And it's not so we can stay there because you you've heard it before, Jesus is not going to leave you where he's found you. It's so we can finally leave there. And sometimes, sometimes I think we resist healing because we are afraid of what we'll find. Well, what what if I'm angrier than I thought? Or what if I am more hurt than I realized? What if what if I discover I've been carrying this longer than I even knew? Can I encourage you, ladies, with something? Because this is not about a Debbie Downer show, okay? This is about keeping it real. And God already knows, and I know that you know that God already knows, but sometimes we need to be reminded of that. Nothing that you're going to discover about yourself is a surprise to him. The tears won't surprise him, the anger won't surprise him, the disappointment won't surprise him, and the grief won't surprise him. And so listen, he's not waiting for you to get it together. Oh no, girl, before he comes close to you. No, he is inviting you to bring it to him. So think of it this way: God's given you a tremendous capacity to love, right? For many of us, especially as moms. That's one of our what I like to call superpowers, right? Because we can love fiercely, we sacrifice deeply, we care wholeheartedly, we show up, we fight for our kids, we pour ourselves out for the people we love. But, oh, there's a but every gift God gives us has to be stewarded. And what does that mean? What are you talking about, girl? Well, this is what I'm talking about because the same heart that can love deeply can also be wounded deeply. The same person who can build others up can tear herself down. The same passion that can strengthen a family can become bitterness if it isn't healed. The same desire for connection can lead us into unhealthy relationships if we're desperate enough to feel a wound, only God can heal. And maybe, just maybe part of the challenge is that we are living in a broken world. Jesus said we are in this world, but we are not of this world. We live in a place where people disappoint us, people leave, people betray, people reject, people fail. And ladies, and I'm talking to me here, if we're not careful, those experiences can start shaping us more than God's truth shapes us. So let me remind us again. We live in a broken world, but God doesn't want the brokenness of the world becoming the blueprint for our hearts. Scripture tells us, and uh listen, scripture tells us the word of God is like a sword, right? And we know a sword is powerful, but we also know a sword is only dangerous when it's not properly handled, too, right? In the hands of a skilled warrior, it protects. In untrained hands, it can harm others and even harm the person holding it. Sometimes I wonder, I wonder if part of God's healing process, I wonder if it's teaching us how to steward the gifts he's already placed inside of us. Like how to love without losing ourselves. That's a good one. How about this one? How about to how to trust without becoming naive? Or how to set boundaries without becoming bitter? Oof, that's a tough one. How to speak truth. Oof, this is gonna be a tough one, too. How to speak truth without using it as a weapon. Some self-righteous anger can destroy some things. How about how to carry strength without building walls? There's a fine line between all of those. You see, before God expands our influence, he often teaches us how to wield what he's already given us, given us. And so when I look at scripture, I tend to see patterns. And God often worked on people. The pattern I saw is he often worked on people before he worked through them. And like this. Joseph spent years being betrayed, forgotten, refined before he stepped into leadership. Um, this even reminds me that the podcast that we did of um Problems to promises or promises to problems, or the other way around. You know, there's a podcast probably up just four weeks ago that talked about this. Let's talk about Moses. Well, he spent 40 years in the wilderness before leading God's people. David, he spent years hiding in caves before wearing a crown. Peter, Experienced failure, denial, and restoration before becoming one of the leaders of the early church. Do you notice the pattern? You see, God wasn't just preparing their circumstances, He was preparing their hearts. Because God isn't only interested in what you do, He's interested in who, who you're becoming. Maybe that's what makes healing so important. Because it isn't a delay, it isn't a punishment, it isn't God putting your life on hold, although I know sometimes I can feel that way. It's preparation. Not because he's withholding something good, but because he's holding something good, like we talked before. And he loves us, girl, way too much to hand us something powerful, but to let me try that again. Okay, here we go. And he loves us too much to hand us something powerful before teaching us how to carry it well. And we are parents, we get that with our own children, right? Because sometimes the assignment before the assignment is healing. And maybe the reason God keeps bringing you back to the same area isn't because he's trying to hurt you. Maybe it's because he's trying to heal you. Maybe he's not asking you to revisit the wound. Maybe he's inviting you to leave it behind once and for all. We are 23 minutes in and I am only at segment three. We got about two more segments to go. If you need to pause this and take a potty break, you give yourself permission to do that. This is what happens when I take a week off, and the Lord be teaching me things.
God Prepares Us Before Purpose
So this segment, we're gonna call it God didn't cause it, but he can use it. And listen, I hope that you are enjoying this podcast. We're gonna take some time to walk healing out because healing is probably our most important assignment, in my opinion. Nothing works if we're not healed. Am I right? So at this point, I think it's pause, important to pause and say something because whenever we talk about healing, purpose, and God's plan, there's a question that naturally comes up. I don't know about you, but it does for me, and it is if healing is a part of the assignment, well, what about the hurt? What about the divorce? What about the abandonment? What about the betrayal, Sherry? What about the single mom journey itself? Did God plan all of that? Personally, I don't believe God sat in heaven designing heartbreak for you. I don't believe he celebrated your pain either. I don't believe he authored the betrayal. I don't believe he caused someone to walk away. I do not believe that he desired the wounds you've carried. Again, we live in a fallen world. People have free will. People make choices, and sometimes those choices leave deep scars. But here's what I do believe. I believe God wastes nothing. And I've seen this in my own life. And we're going to, I'm gonna jump this over to a little Romans 8.28 here. And it says, and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Now I want us to notice what it doesn't say. It doesn't say all things are good, because we know divorce isn't good, abandonment isn't good, betrayal isn't good, and brokenness uh isn't good. But God, oh, God in his providence, he is so powerful that he can work within those things and bring something redemptive from them. One of my favorite examples, oof, is Joseph. And you know the story. His brothers betrayed him, they sold him, they abandoned him, they intended harm. But years later, oof, I love this, but still my heart, Joseph, tells them, You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good. Uh, that is a check in the spirit there. Notice Jodas Joseph didn't say the betrayal was good. He said, God brought good from it. So there's a difference, right? And maybe that's where some of us are today, trying to understand how God, how could God possibly use something we never would have chosen? The single mom journey may not have been your plan. It may not have looked anything like the future you amandon. Ugh. Imagined. But God is not intimidated by the detours, he is not surprised by the broken roads, he is not standing in heaven with his arms crossed, wondering how he is going to fix your story. Uh, because he's already working. And sometimes the deepest intimacy with God happens when we discover he is all we've got. Now, I know that doesn't sound comforting at first. Uh, it might sting a little bit. Because nobody volunteers for that lesson. Nobody wakes up and says, Oh Lord, I really love a season where every backup plan just disappears. Said no one ever. And especially not me, your girl Sherry, because your girl Sherry doesn't just have a plan A. I have got a plan B, a plan C, a plan D, a contingency plan, a backup plan for the backup plan, and probably a color-coded spreadsheet for all of the above. And if there was a plan Q, I'd probably have that one too. Your girl likes options, she likes exits, and I like knowing how things are going to work out. I'm sure there's someone listening who's like, yes, I you get it. Amen. I understand. But sometimes God does his best work when all that's left is him. He's your only plan. Sometimes he lovingly allows you to run out of our plans, run out of our plans so we can discover his. Sometimes he removes our dependence on ourselves so we can develop our dependence on him. Mm-hmm. That's happened to me in the last couple weeks. And while I wouldn't sign up for those seasons twice, I can honestly say those were some of the seasons where I experienced God the most. So what if, ladies, what if one of the gifts hidden inside the pain is dependence? I know it sounds messed up. But listen, dependence, because dependence feels uncomfortable to our flesh. But dependence draws us closer to God. Some of the most powerful prayers are prayed when we finally realize we don't have all the answers. I don't care how smart you are. Some of the deepest faith is built when we run out of our own strength. Some of the closest walks with God begin when we stop pretending we can do life without Him. The very thing that felt like it was breaking you may have been drawing you closer to the one who could heal you. Not because God wanted your pain, girl, but because God loves you so much. Loves redeeming what pain tried to destroy. Destroy, and maybe, maybe that's why healing matters so much. Because listen, healing allows us to see our story differently. Not as proof that God abandoned us, but as evidence that God stayed with us. Not as evidence that our life is ruined, but as evidence that God is still writing, praise the Lord. And maybe your story isn't just about what happened to you. Oof, maybe it's about what God is doing through you. Ooh, yes, he gets a hand clap. Yes. Maybe one day your scars will become someone else's roadmap. Maybe the thing you survived will become the very thing that helps someone else keep going. Doesn't that just light you up like a Christmas tree? Maybe your healing isn't just for you. Maybe it is part of how God reaches someone else. Because God has always had a way of taking broken pieces and building beautiful things. And he isn't finished with your story yet. Two generations at a time. Now, I think this may be the most important part of this whole entire conversation. So if you are falling asleep, you need to wake up right now. And I'm gonna give you a little wake up girl, okay? Because listen, your healing isn't just about you, it is about the people coming behind you. As moms, we know our children learn more from what we do than what we say, because they're watching us, watching how we handle disappointment, watching how we handle conflict, watching how we handle fear, stress, forgiveness, and how we handle God. Watching how we handle relationships when they change, watching how we respond when someone leaves, watching how we talk about people who have hurt us, watching how we navigate heartbreak without letting it harden us. And whether we realize it or not, we're teaching them every day. Our children are watching how we handle relationships when they change because one day they'll have to handle changing relationships too. So hear me carefully. None of us are going to do this perfectly, and that's not the goal. The goal isn't perfection, the goal is progress. The goal is allowing God to work in us so that what was handed to us doesn't automatically get handed to them. Because many of us, many of us listening, lesson girls, have inherited wounds we didn't create. Uh, can I get an amen? And maybe that was fear, abandonment, maybe it was anger, shame, unhealthy relationships patterns. Maybe it was silence, maybe it was people pleasing, or maybe it was believing your worth dependent on what you did rather than who you are. Oof. And here's the hard truth. You may not be responsible for the wound, but eventually you become responsible for what you do with it. Not because you're to blame, but because healing becomes your opportunity. Every generation has a choice repeat the pattern or repair the pattern. And can I tell you something beautifully? The fact that you are even listening to this podcast, and we are 33 minutes in about healing. Well, it tells me a little something, something about you, because you are already considering a different path. You are already asking different questions. You are already doing work that many generations before you may never have had the opportunity, support, or awareness to do. That's significant. Do you hear me? That is courageous. That is some kingdom work up in here because when a mom heals, ooh, girl, something powerful happens. Children learn what healthy love looks like. Children learn what healthy boundaries look like. Children learn that mistakes can be addressed rather than hidden. Oh, yes. Children learn that forgiveness is possible, that learning healing is possible, that God meets us in hard places. Think about that for a moment. Don't you wish you had that? So, what if your children? What if they don't need a perfect mom? What if they need a healing mom? A mom willing to say, I don't have it all figured out. I'm still grown, baby. I'm still learning, and I'm still letting God work on me. What a gift that would be. Maybe in some strange wrapping paper, but a gift? Because then your children learn they don't have to be perfect either. Freedom! They learned that they can bring their wounds to God instead of hiding them. Wow, that's like so freeing. They learned that they can actually ask for help. It's okay to ask for help. They learned that they can heal. And maybe, hmm, this is pretty interesting. Maybe that's part of the assignment. Maybe God isn't just healing you. Maybe he's healing a whole family line. Maybe he's healing generations at the same time. We hear a lot about generational curses, but what about generational healing? What about generational freedom? What about generational faith, generational courage? What about generational resilience? Oh, yes. Can I get an amen? Please. What if the healing God begins and you becomes the inheritance your children receive? Not money, not possessions, not status, freedom. What if your children inherit freedom because you accepted an assignment many people avoid? Oh wow. What if your grandchildren, your grandbabies, one day benefit from prayers they never heard you pray? What if they experience healthier relationships because you did the hard work of healing yours? What if the assignment is bigger than you ever imagined? I mean, can you start to see that right now? Because that's often how God works, right? He ain't a God of small, he is a God of tall and all. He starts with one willing heart, one willing person, one willing mom, and the ripple effects reach farther than she will ever fully know. Don't you want that for your family? Don't you want that for you? So wow, wow, like this is a wow. So maybe healing isn't just personal. Maybe it's generational. Maybe God is doing something in your life today that will impact people you haven't even met yet. And if that's true, then every counseling appointment matters, every prayer matters, every boundary matters, every act of forgiveness matters, every hard conversation matters, every tear matters, every step towards healing matters. Because your healing may not stop with you. It may travel forward through generations. You may not be responsible for the wound, but by God's grace, you may become the person who changed the story. Wow. That's a story I want to be a part of. That's some superhero action happening up there by DC Comics and Marvel. Marvel at that. Ooh. Oh my goodness. Okay, this is so good. 37 minutes. Wow, this is the longest podcast I've ever done. Okay, we're almost done. So, okay, because we talked a lot about healing, but how do we accept the assignment? Because listen, some of y'all may be thinking today, yeah, okay, Sherry, I've heard you, I hear you going on and on and on. And I know I need healing. I know there's still some hurt there. I know God's inviting me into this. I know, I know I'm no girl, but where do I even start? Well, glad you asked. Because before I give you practical steps, I want to acknowledge something. You may not want to do this. Just saying, because I know I didn't. And still don't. In fact, if we're being honest, you may be listening to this Pineus podcast thinking, I want to revisit that. Oh, heck no. I don't uh uh uh uh I do not want to talk about that. Oh no, I do not want to think about that. Oh, that skeleton. Uh-uh, shut that closet door. Mm-mm, skeletons gonna all fall out. Uh-uh. Uh-uh, uh-uh-uh. No, Sherry, I do not. I do not, do not, do not. I have worked hard to bury it. I do not want to feel it. And can I just say something? That's normal. You see, healing doesn't usually start because we're excited about it. Uh, let's just be honest here. Healing starts because we're tired of carrying what we've been carrying. And here's something I have learned. Healing often feels awkward before it feels freeing. Sometimes it feels like nothing's happening. Sometimes it feels slow. Sometimes it feels like you're taking one step forward and two steps back. Sometimes you'll wonder if any of it's even working. But I'm gonna say keep going. Keep going, girl, because God's working even when you can't feel it. Healing, it's kind of like, in my opinion, a lot like forgiveness. Now, what do we know about forgiveness? Most people think forgiveness feels good at first and then they extend it, right? And then that's not usually how it works. Often we choose forgiveness before we feel forgiveness. We choose it again tomorrow and again next week. We might even take
Generational Healing Starts With Mom
it back and be like, no, uh, never mind, I take that back. And then we forgive again. And then when the memories resurface, and eventually what started as obedience, it does eventually become freedom. So the same is true with healing. You may not wake up tomorrow feeling like, woo, yeah, I am completely healed. Uh, you actually might not walk out of a counseling appointment feeling completely transformed. You may not have one prayer session and suddenly feel peace. But every honest conversation with God, I want you to know it matters. Every step matters, every tear matters, every act of courage matters. Every time you choose healing over hiding, gosh, it matters so much. God's doing work beneath the surface long before you can see the fruit above service. Just because healing doesn't feel good today doesn't mean it isn't good for you, girl. Just because it feels uncomfortable, cruddy, ugh, doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. Feelings aren't facts. Sometimes discomfort is evidence that God is finally touching the places we've spent years protecting. And Galatians 6.9 says this, says this, let us not become weary in doing good. For at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Did you hear that? Healing has a harvest too. Are you kidding me? And if you stay with the process, one day you'll realize that the thing that used to trigger you doesn't control you anymore. The thing that used to define you doesn't define you anymore. The thing that used to keep you awake at night no longer has the same hold on your heart. And that's when you realize, girl, God has been working all along. Even when you couldn't feel it. So where do we begin? Well, we're gonna begin by getting honest with God, not polished, not religious, not pretending, honest. Because you know God already knows what hurts. He isn't willing, or excuse me, he isn't waiting for you to inform him. He don't need a 411. He knows he's waiting for you to invite him. So stop minimizing your pain. Some of us become experts at saying, ah, well, it really wasn't that bad, or other people, oh well, you know, there's someone, always someone that has it worse. I should be over there, I should be over this by now, or things like that. You know, because minimizing pain doesn't heal pain. Um, what we need to do is we need to bring it in the light. We need to name it, we need to pray through it, we need to give it to God. Seek wise help when needed. Sometimes healing happens in prayer, sometimes healing happens in community, happens in counseling, happens through all three. There's no shame in getting help. In fact, sometimes asking for help is one of the bravest things you will ever do. So I encourage you to find people who can walk with you. Join a support group, find trusted friends. Don't heal in isolation if you don't have to. God often uses people as part of the healing process. And let me encourage you with another thing, and this is something else that you can do. You can ask for someone to pray for you, and not just you praying for yourself. Invite others in, ask someone to pray with you over you. Ask someone to stand in the gap when you're tired. Because listen, there are seasons when your faith feels strong, and then there are seasons when you're just simply exhausted. Seasons when you're hurting, seasons when you're overwhelmed, seasons when you don't even know what to pray. That's why God gave us community. That's why He gave us the body of Christ. This isn't the time, girls, to carry everything by yourself. This isn't the time to sit alone with every single thought. This isn't the time to convene. Yourself, you have to be strong all the time. Sometimes healing starts with a simple text message. Can you pray for me? Not fix me, not solve my problems, not give me advice, just pray. Sometimes we need someone else's faith to help carry us until our own strength catches up. And that's okay. Give yourself permission. Even Jesus had people walking alongside
Small Steps To Accept Healing
him. You weren't created to do this alone, and let me give you permission to do something else. And this is an important one too. Take care of yourself. I know that sounds simple, but healing isn't just spiritual. It's emotional, mental, and physical. And sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is take a nap. Mm-hmm. I said it seriously. Take a nap. Some of us are trying to discern God's voice when we're exhausted, trying to process our emotions when we're depleted, trying to heal while running on fumes. You know what I'm talking about. Give yourself permission to care for the person God entrusted to you, and that is you, boo. Go for a walk, get outside, listen to worship music or high frequency instrumental music that helps calm your mind. Light a candle, use aromatherapy, go to the gym, punch a punching bag, stretch, throw some, break some plates if you have to, dance around your kitchen, drink some water, take a nap, unplug from social media for a while. Give your brain and your nervous system room to breathe. And don't underestimate the healing power of joy. Let your kids give you a makeover. Yes, I said it. Let them put the clips in your hair, let them paint your nails, let them pick out your outfit, get outside and jump in puddles, blow bubbles, color a picture, take a bike ride, build a blanket for it, laugh until your stomach hurts. Sometimes healing isn't found by thinking harder. Sometimes healing is found by living. Sometimes the assignment isn't to analyze another thought. It's just to be present in a moment. To remember that God still created joy. Oh gosh, that was one of my favorite things that he did. He created joy and humor. To remember that laughter is still allowed. Oh yes. To remember that your story isn't only made up of hard chapters. And sometimes those those little moments, they become holy moments. Because for a few minutes, you're not replaying the past, you're not worrying about the future, you're simply present. And that's often where we find God waiting for us. And we could talk about crying for a minute. Sometimes you need a good cry, but sometimes we can get stuck living in the sadness. One thing I've learned is that you need to set a crying limit. Give yourself permission to cry. Feel it, release it, journal it, pray it, but then ask yourself, what do I need next? Well, I might need a walk, a friend, a meal, a workout, a shower, a nap, a conversation with God. Check it in with yourself. Check in with yourself. Ask yourself whether you're loving yourself or loving yourself to death. Because there's a difference. One helps you heal, the other keeps you stuck. And sometimes healing requires what I jokingly call a Jedi mind trick. You have to gently interrupt the spiral. Get out of your head, get into God's presence, get into motion, get into community, get into gratitude, and get into truth. Because not every thought deserves a chair at the table. And not every feeling deserves a stealing steering wheel. The goal isn't to ignore your feelings, the goal is to let the Spirit lead them. God didn't call us to live disconnected from our emotions, but He also didn't call us to be driven by them either. Healing often happens when we stop letting our emotions lead us and start letting God lead us through them. So practice, my friends, practice forgiveness, not because what happened was okay, not because it didn't hurt, not because someone earned it, but because unforgiveness keeps us connected to wounds God wants to heal. And remember, forgiveness is often a process before it becomes a feeling. Choose it and keep choosing it. Replace lies with truth. Many of us are carrying stories we've repeated so many times we mistake them for truth. I'm not enough, I'm too broken, no one else will ever love me. This is just who I am. Well, I want you to learn what God says about you. And when your thoughts disagree with his truth, choose his truth. And finally, learn to become your own friend. Part of healing is learning how to stop biting yourself. Many of us have spent years fighting ourselves, fighting our past, fighting our mistakes, our regrets, our reflections in the mirror. Goodness gracious, I'm tired just listening to that. But meanwhile, God is inviting us into healing. And I often wonder how much energy we spend beating ourselves up that could have been spent building ourselves up. If your best friend came to you carrying the same story you're carrying, would you speak to her the way you speak to yourself? I'm guessing you wouldn't. Of course not. You remind her she's loved. You remind her she's growing. You remind her that one chapter isn't the whole story. But yet many of us extend grace to everyone except ourselves. And I'm speaking to the choir here. Healing requires learning to see yourself the way God sees you. Not excusing your mistakes, not pretending you don't have areas to grow, but recognizing that God can love you while he's still working on you. Just because you're a work in progress doesn't mean you're a project. God regrets starting. Sometimes healing begins, my friends, when we stop becoming our own worst critic and start becoming a trusted friend to ourselves. Because if you're constantly fighting yourself, you won't have much strength left to fight for your healing. And maybe that's the first step today. Not finishing the assignment, maybe just accepting it. One prayer, one conversation, one act of courage at a time. So as I close, will you accept the assignment? So let's go back to that certified letter we opened at the beginning of this episode. You know the one marked urgent, the one that simply said, Congratulations, you've been assigned to healing. Yeah, that one. Maybe today, for the first time, you are realizing that healing isn't standing in the way of your purpose. Maybe healing, on the other hand, is part of your purpose. Maybe the assignment God has been inviting you into isn't punishment after all. It's preparation. It's freedom. And maybe it's the doorway to the next chapter that you have been praying for. Maybe it's the thing that changes not only your life, but the lives of the children and generations that come after you. And here's what I hope you'll remember, girls. You don't have to finish the assignment today. You don't even have to have it all figured out. You don't even have to heal everything overnight. You just have to accept the assignment. One prayer, one conversation, one counseling appointment, one boundary, one act of forgiveness, one honest moment with God at a time. Because healing isn't an event, it's a journey. And God isn't asking you to walk it alone. So
Forgiveness, Truth, And Self-Friendship
here's my challenge for you this week. I want you to identify one area of your life where God may be inviting you into healing. And then I want you to take one simple, small step towards it. Just one. And then trust Him with the next step. And if you're feeling overwhelmed, if you're hurting, if you don't know where to start, or if you simply need someone to stand with you in prayer, we would love to pray for you. Our 24-hour prayer line is available anytime at 855-82 Pray. That's 855-822-7729. Because sometimes healing begins with a simple phone call. Sometimes healing begins when someone else carries the burden. Sometimes healing begins when we finally admit we don't have to do this alone. Girlfriends, God isn't finished with your story. The pain isn't the end, the disappointment isn't the end. The heartbreak isn't the end. The single mom journey isn't the end. God is still writing, God is still healing, and God is still redeeming. And maybe the assignment you've been avoiding is actually the assignment that leads you to the freedom you've been seeking. So when that certified letter shows up in your mailbox this week, don't shove it back in the envelope, girl. Open it and accept it. And trust that God, the God that gave you the assignment, will walk with you every step of the way. This is your girl, Sherry, and you've been listening to It's a Single Mom Thing. So until next time, I want you to remember that healing isn't standing in the way of your purpose. Sometimes healing is the purpose. Healing is our assignment. Have a wonderful week. And remember, it's a single mom thing and not a single thing that stops you. Thanks for listening to It's a Single Mom Thing. I hope you enjoyed our time together. If you have more questions on how to have a relationship with Jesus or to do prayer, visit us at www.shepherd'svillage.com backslash prayer. For more information and resources, check out our show notes.
