I Gave Up on ‘Good Days’—Here’s Why

What if the reason your days feel so heavy… isn’t everything you have to do—but everything you expect them to be?

In this episode of It’s a Single Mom Thing, Sherry shares a powerful mindset shift that is changing the way she lives, shows up, and experiences everyday life. Instead of chasing the idea of a “good day,” she’s choosing something different—and it’s lighter, more intentional, and way more freeing.

If you’re a single mom feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or constantly disappointed when life doesn’t go as planned, this episode will challenge you to rethink how you approach your day—and give you practical tools to shift it.

You’ll learn:

•  Why expectations can quietly weigh you down 
•  How to start your day with intention instead of pressure 
•  A simple but powerful question that can transform your mindset 
•  How to show up differently in stressful moments, conversations, and even dating 
•  A practical exercise to help you see it, feel it, and speak it
•  How to model and teach this mindset to your kids so they can build emotional resilience early 

This isn’t about having a perfect day.
 It’s about choosing your experience—no matter what the day brings.

✨ Whether you’re navigating co-parenting, work stress, parenting challenges, or just trying to keep it all together—this episode will help you release the pressure and step into your day with purpose, peace, and confidence.

💬 I want to hear from you!
If you try this “experience shift,” hit the “Text Sherry” link above the podcast description and share what changed for you. Your story might be featured in a future episode!

Transcript

Giving Up On Good Days

SPEAKER_00 0:00

It's a single mom thing. The show for single moms? I single moms. This is Sherry Pops, and I am happy you are here today. It's a single mom thing, and not the simple thing that stops you. I gave up on trying to have a good day. And I know that might sound a little crazy. Because who doesn't want a good day? Am I right? But let me ask you something. Have you ever noticed how a day can go completely sideways? And somehow that one thing ruins everything. Not because it was that big, but because it didn't go how you expected it to. You see, I didn't realize how much pressure I was putting on my life until I stopped expecting it to behave. And when I really, listen, ladies, when I really started paying attention, I saw it. It wasn't always my day that was heavy. It was my expectations of it. The pressure for it to go right, the pressure for the people to act a certain way, the pressure for moments to feel a certain way. So listen, I've been trying something a little different lately that I have to share with my sisters. So here we go. Instead of waking up thinking about everything I need to do, how many of us do that? Mm-hmm. Waking up stressed out before our feet even hit the floor? Or how I need that day to go, I've been doing this one simple thing. And it really is simple. I've been asking myself one simple question. What do I want to experience today? And I'm telling you, ladies, ooh, that one question, what do I want to experience today? That one question is changing how I show up in my life. Because now, listen, I'm not walking into my day carrying a burden. Oh no, I am walking into it with an intention. Not trying to control the outcome, but choosing the experience. Because listen, trying to control that outcome that was some heavy lifting that I am tired of. So let me ask you this. What if the reason, ladies, your day feels so heavy isn't everything, it's not on everything you have to do, but everything you expect it to be. Do you hear the shift? What if it's not your life that's wearing you out, but the pressure you're putting on it to go a certain way? Welcome to another episode of It's a Single Mom Thing with your girl Sherry. And listen, today we're talking about something that might just shift how you walk through your entire day. Because, listen, you're gonna be high-stepping it because I didn't just stumble on this, okay? I have been living it and I have been testing it, trying it out in real time in my conversations, in my responsibilities, and yes, even in dating. And what I'm finding is this when I stop trying to make my day go a certain way, it actually starts showing up in a completely different way. And I am not fooling y'all here. Same life, same schedule, same people, but a completely different experience. Same life, different experience. Okay, and it started. How does that happen? It started with something so simple, but so intentional. Instead of waking up thinking about everything like I said, I had to do or how I needed that day to go, I started asking myself, what do I want to experience today? Not what do I need to control, what needs to go right, but what do I want to experience? And I've kind of already mentioned that in the intro. And listen, and if I'm honest, at first, ladies, it felt a little different because I was so used to measuring my day by outcomes by trying to control everything in my day. Did it go well? Did people respond the way I wanted? Did everything fall into place? I mean, how many of y'all ever have that? But now, I'm serious, I'm waking up and I am walking into my day asking, how do I want to show up in it? So even, check this out, even in the small things, small things, like a conversation I know I need to have. Instead of going into it thinking, gee, well, I hope this goes well, I think I want to experience peace in this conversation or patience or clarity, or or or what are your ores? And what's crazy is this I start showing up with that energy. Instead of waiting to see if it gives it to me, I already have it. I walk into that intention with it. Same thing with my responsibilities. Listen, I'm not just trying to get through them anymore. I'm choosing how I experience them while I'm in them. It's crazy. Because let's be real, we all have things we have to do. Am I right? That doesn't change, especially us single moms. But how we experience those things, ooh, that can. That excites me. And I hope you're excited. And this, ladies, listen, this has even shifted how I approach dating. Mm-hmm. Because I am not walking into it with this pressure of, well, where is this going? Is this the one? Is this going to work out? No, I'm walking into it thinking, well, what kind of experience do I want to have? Do I want to feel relaxed? Do I want to feel connected? Do I want to feel present? I actually enjoy the conversation. I actually hear the conversation instead of sitting there trying to figure out what I'm going to say next or, or, or he's so cute. No, I'm actually there. And listen, that shift alone, girl, it has removed so much anxiety. Because I'm not trying to force an outcome. I am allowing an experience. And what's happening is I'm not even judging the person anymore or judging the expectation of what I thought. I'm just going through the experience. And here's what I really also started to notice. When I stop trying to control how things go and I start choosing how I show up, I don't carry the same weight in my day anymore. It doesn't feel like something I have to go through anymore. It feels like something I get to step into. Now, listen, for a control freak, that's pretty empowering, right? And at the end of the day, listen, I'm not sitting there asking, well, did everything go right? On the contrary, I'm asking, what did I experience today? Did I like it? Do I want more of that? What would I tweak next time? And it's such a different way of processing life. I know it is, because it's not about passing or failing the day, it's about learning from the day. I mean, it's almost finding freedom in the day. And so here's another thing that I'm realizing. The more I focus on the experience I want, the more I start choosing a life that reflects those experiences. You see, I'm more aware, more intentional, more aligned with how I actually want to live, not just how I thought life was supposed to go. Same life again, different experiences. And that right there changes everything. So, what do you want to experience? So let me ask you something. I mean, how about you? What do you want to experience more of in your life? And what do you want to experience less of? I mean, have you ever thought about that? Because, ladies, here's the truth. A lot of us are living days we don't even realize we're choosing. We wake up, we react, we get through it, and then we do it all over again, right? I think there was a movie on it called Groundhog Day. And somewhere along the way, we stopped, we stopped asking ourselves what we actually want to feel in our own lives. And that's kind of funny because us ladies, we are some feeling ladies. We got some emotions, we got some big personalities, some big feelings. So maybe before we even think about our kids, we need to start with us. Because you can't teach what you're not already walking in. And this right here, ladies, this is some inner work. So I want you to really think about it. When you look at your days as of lately, what have you been experiencing more of? How about stress, pressure, frustration, feeling rushed, feeling overwhelmed? I know I probably, every one of you is probably feeling all of those at the same time. And maybe, maybe even asking yourself, how much of that is coming from what's actually happening? Now listen, and how much of it is actually coming from what you expected to happen? Did you hear that? Let's go through that again. How much of that was coming from what was actually happening? And then how much of it is coming from what you expected to happen? It's kind of like a self-fulfilling prophecy. But you know me, we need to flip that script. What do you want to experience more of? Here's how we flip it. Well, I don't know about you, but I would love to have some more peace, some joy, some patience, confidence, calm in the middle of chaos. Can I get an amen over there? Okay, you got hands up in the car shouting out, yes, girl, yes, because listen, I don't know about you, but here's what I'm learning, and I'm I'm sharing this with you. Those things, they don't just show up in your day, you bring them into your day. Like you got some control here, control freak. So let me say that a little bit louder. You, my sister, you get to bring that into your day. And I'm not saying everything goes to go, it's gonna go perfect. Okay, I'm not saying that. Because listen, life is still gonna life, kids are still gonna be kids, and they're gonna be kids. People are still going to be people, but you you get to decide how you walk into it, and that's been the biggest shift for me. I stopped waiting for my day to give me something good. Oh no, I started choosing what I bring into it. So now when I look at my day, I'm asking, well, Sherry, what do I want to experience? What do I need to bring with me to experience that? Because if I want peace, well, I can't walk into everything with tension. If I want patience, I can't expect everything to go my way. If I want joy, I have to be open to finding it, even when things don't look like I thought they would. And this is where it gets real because it takes awareness, it takes slowing down enough to catch yourself in the moment and say, uh, wait a minute, this isn't what I wanted to experience. Let me shift how I'm going to show up right now. Not perfectly, but intentionally. And ladies, trust me, the more you do that, the more you start to realize you're not as you are not at the mercy of your day as you thought you were. Speak up. So listen, you actually have more to say in your experience than you've been given yourself credit for. So now, what do we do with that? You're probably like, okay, yeah, good uh, nice pep talk, Sherry, but what am I supposed to do? Well, this right here, this is gonna be the practical part, okay? And I hope you come back and re-listen to this as many times as you need because it's gonna take some practice. Because it's one thing to hear this, it's another thing to actually live it out in your day-to-day life. And ladies, it starts with something simple, and isn't that what we want is something simple but powerful. You gotta speak up, not in frustration, not in reaction, but in intention. And this is what I'm talking about. Speak because when you speak it, you start to believe it. And when you believe it, you start to walk in it. So I want to try something with you. This might feel a little different because it goes contrary to how we have trained our brain, but we're gonna get on board with a new train of thought here. So stay with me. I want you to actually say this out loud, okay? Come on, let's go. Not just think it, not just agree with it, but I want you to say it, okay? Who's with me? Let's go. Today, I want to experience peace. Say it with me. Today, I want to experience peace. Now say it again. I want to experience peace today. Do you hear the difference? Even in your voice, there's a shift, there's a little swag in there, in there? It's not pressure, but it is permission. And I want to take this just one step further with you. Of course I do. Because this isn't just about saying the words, it's about stepping into the experience. Hi, stepping into that experience before your day even begins. Mm-hmm. Sees the day. So here's what this can look like in real life, real time for you right now. Maybe it means waking up a little earlier before the kids get up, before the noise of the day starts, and just having a little quiet moment with God, not rushing, not reacting, but sitting still long enough to get intentional. And in that moment, you start thinking through your day. Well, what do I have coming up? A meeting, a hard conversation, a parent-teacher conference, court, a job interview, maybe even have a date. And instead of going into those moments thinking, oh, well, I hope this goes well, or this better not go bad, you pause and you ask yourself, Well, what do I want to experience in that moment? And listen, not what that man wants to experience. What do you want to experience? And then you don't just think it, you see it. You visualize yourself walking in that room, shoulders back, head up high, you're high-stepping it, you're rocking it, and you're having that conversation, sitting across from that person, and you see yourself experiencing what you choose. You feel it. What does peace feel like in your body? What does confidence feel like when you speak it? When does calm feel like when every what does calm feel like when everything around you isn't? And then you say it. I'm going to walk into this interview with confidence. I'm going to sit in that meeting with peace. I'm going to go on this date present, relaxed, and just enjoy the moment. And then you affirm it. Not as something that you're hoping for. Oh no, but for something that you are choosing. Because here's the shift. You're not waiting to see if the situation gives it to you. Oh no, you're bringing it with you. Can I get an amen? So I'm going to say that just a little bit louder. You are going to bring it with you, sister. Okay. And I want you to say this too. Don't let your mind immediately go, yeah, but that's not possible. Oh no. That's a holy hold-up moment right there. That right there is old stinking thinking. Oh no, P U, mmm, it smells. That's expectation-based thinking. That's the part of you that's used to saying, well, if everything goes right, then I'll feel good. Bah humbug ba Felicia. Listen, we are not doing that anymore. Oh no. We are not trying, or excuse me, we are not tying our experience to everything to go perfectly, okay? We're not having that expectation anymore. We are choosing no matter what happens. This is how I'm going to show up in it. And I'm telling you, girls, when you start your day like that, when you walk into moments like that, it changes how you respond, how you process, how you carry yourself through it. You're not bracing for impact anymore. You're stepping into the experience you already decided on. You are inviting it as a welcome guest into your day. Yes, please come on in peace. Yes, I want more of you. You got more friends? And once you start living this way, once you start seeing the difference and how you show up, now imagine what it could look like to teach this to your kids. Because let's be honest, our kids are already experiencing life. Am I right? They don't always know how to process it, though. They're kids. And how many times have we seen it? Oof, just in this one day. The meltdown, the attitude, the shutdown, all because something didn't go the way they expected it to. Oh, yes, I hit a sore spot there. Am I right? But what if, ladies, think about it? What if instead of just correcting the behavior, because I am so over trying to correct something and it ain't happening? We started guiding the experience. Doesn't that sound a whole lot better? And what I mean by that, what if we taught them to speak up to? Not an attitude, but an intention. So instead of just asking, oh, how was your day? Did you have a good day? We ask, what did you experience today? Now they might look at you first like a deer in headlights, and you might have to walk them through this. You might have to ask it several times. And make sure you do it at a time when they're not in front of the TV, in front of the phone, or whatever else. Okay, you're you're there with them. And then I want you to post that somewhere. Post it everywhere until it becomes part of your natural parenting dialogue. What did you experience today, honey? And when they tell you, now listen, you sit with them in it, and then you gently guide them. Okay, so what do you want to experience next time? I mean, say they got in an argument with someone or they got a they they got in trouble because they responded to a grade in a in a bad way. I don't know. Think about all the things. And then, ladies, now think about it. You're teaching them something powerful. Maybe you even phrase it like that. This is a superpower. They're not stuck then in what happened. They have a say in how they show up moving forward, moving upwards. And even before their day starts, you can ask them. Listen, you could be in charge of their experience. You can ask them, what kind of day do you want to have? Make them say it, okay? They need to say it because when they say it, they start to own it. That's the kind of business you want them to own. Now, I don't know about you, but don't you wish that was the kind of hand-me down that was passed on to you? I mean, I know I do. And listen, when something doesn't go right, you can bring them right back to it. Hey, honey, you remember you said this morning, uh, blah, blah, blah, or how can you still be that right here, right now? You see, you hear that? You see, and so instead of reacting, which that's Our natural response they and they're expecting it, they're expecting mama to react. But what if mom experienced that moment with them? Would you now change their expectation to that moment? Oof, that's good. We're going deep here. So listen, then they're learning how to respond. And the beautiful part is they're not just hearing you say it, they are watching you live it. You're showing them in some real time, some reality TV right here, how to walk through life without needing it to go perfectly, to be okay. And maybe that's the shift right there. Maybe life doesn't need to meet your expectations. Maybe it just needs your presence. Because my guess is when you stop trying to force your day to go a certain way and you start choosing how you show up in it, everything changes. Not because your life suddenly gets easier, but because you're not carrying the same weight through it. You're not waking up trying to have a good day anymore. You're waking up choosing what you want to experience and walking into your day with it already in you. And the more you do that, girl, the more you start to see you're not at the mercy of your circumstances as you thought you were. You actually have a say in how you live your life one moment at a time. And what I love about this, ooh, is it doesn't just change your life. It changes what your kids grow up seeing, what they grow up learning, what they carry into their own lives. You're not just raising kids who hope life goes their way anymore. You're raising kids who know how to walk through life any way it comes. And that right there, that's peace, that's confidence, that's resilience. And for me, it all started with one simple question. What do I want to experience today? So as I close, I want to challenge you tomorrow morning, before your feet even hit the floor, ask yourself that question. Put it as a reminder on your phone if you forget to do that after your feet hit the floor. But don't overthink it. And I want you to just choose one thing. Do you want to experience peace, patience, joy, confidence? Pick one. And then carry it with you into whatever the day brings. Because when you don't have to wait for a good day, you can walk into your day with something good already in you. Amen. And if you are as excited about this experience shift as I am, I want to hear from you. Okay? You need to hit that text sherry link above the podcast description, and you need to tell me all about your experience. What changed for you? Did you notice a difference? Was it different than what you expected? I would love. Love. Trust me, I would love to hear your stories and even share them in an upcoming episode. Maybe even do one where I combine a bunch of y'all's feedback so we can see and hear how this shift is impacting all of us together. Because this isn't just something we hear, this is something we live. And that is how you start living differently. I gave up on good days, maybe now you have too. Have a wonderful week, and remember it's a single mom thing, not the single thing that stops you. Thanks for listening to It's a Single Mom Thing. I hope you enjoyed our time together. If you have more questions on how to have a relationship with Jesus or need prayer, visit us at www.shepardsvillage.com backslash prayer. For more information and resources, check out our show notes.