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It's A Single Mom Thing
Welcome to “It's A Single Mom Thing,” the show for single moms by single moms, hosted by Sherry Chandler.
Being a solo momma and present parent is hard work, and losing focus is easy when you forget your faith. The good news is you are not alone. You were singled out this season, and together, we can work on what’s not working for you—finding Christ in the crisis! Whether you’re tuning in early in the morning or late at night, I’m here for you, momma.
This podcast is your go-to space for navigating life as a single mom with faith, fun, and a fresh perspective. We'll cover everything from mastering a single-mom success mindset and budgeting like a boss to prioritizing self-care and raising resilient kids. We’ll share time management hacks, parenting perspectives, co-parenting challenges, and how to find joy and laugh again. Together, we’ll move from surviving to thriving in every season of single motherhood.
Be encouraged. Get inspired. You can do this, momma.
Each Monday, join me for practical advice, relatable stories, and uplifting conversations as we walk this journey from solo momma to solo momma. I promise not to take too much of your time, and I’m so grateful you’re spending it with me.
It may be a single mom thing, but it doesn’t have to be the "single thing" that stops you!
It's A Single Mom Thing
Love Doesn't Start With A Person
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Love doesn’t start with a person—and it definitely doesn’t start on Valentine’s Day.
This episode of It’s a Single Mom Thing is not about dating advice, relationship status, or pressure to be “okay” with where you are. It’s about your heart—and where it’s been drawing love from.
Whether you’re dating, healing, resting, hopeful, guarded, or choosing peace right now, this conversation meets you where you are without trying to move you anywhere. We talk about why people make terrible sources, why your heart may feel tired instead of broken, and what shifts when love stops being something you look for and starts being something you live from.
Rooted in faith and honest reflection, this episode reframes love away from being chosen, pursued, or claimed—and back to its true source. Because when love has a steady source, everything else stops carrying the weight of your worth.
No sappy clichés. No Valentine’s Day pressure. Just a freeing reminder that you’re not waiting for love to begin—it already has.
It's a Single Mom Thing, Not the Single Thing That Stops You!
Welcome to It's a Single Mom Thing. The show for Single Moms by Single Moms. This is Sherry, your host, and I am happy you are here today. Remember, it's a single mom thing, and not the simple thing that stops you.
SPEAKER_01:Welcome back, my sisters, to another episode of It's a Single Mom Thing. So let's just get a few things straight right now. This episode is not going to be a Valentine's Day episode, okay? There will be no dating advice, no pressure to be okay with where you are, and no reminder of what you may or may not have. Because listen, love doesn't start with a person. I have found that we have been taught that love begins when someone shows up, when you're chosen, pursued, noticed, or named, quote unquote, someone's. But if that were true, love would disappear every time a relationship ends. And we know that's not true. So today isn't about who you're dating or not dating. We're not going there. It's not about whether you want a relationship, are healing from one, resting from one, or happily avoiding one altogether. On the contrary, today, this is about your heart. Where is it drawing love from? And what happens when love has a source that doesn't come and go? Because listen, ladies, the most freeing thing I have learned is this love doesn't start when someone chooses you. It starts when you stop looking for love to begin with and realize it already has. People make terrible sources. So let's dive deeper into this. Okay. So if love doesn't start with a person, well then we have to be honest about this. Most of us, I'm gathering, learn to look for love in what? Probably your answer, hope, like hopefully, like mine is people. And well, that makes sense. We were wired for connection. But listen, people were never meant to be in the place where love begins. Intriguing, am I right? Because why? Because people, no matter how good, are really inconsistent sources. You know, you're one. They get tired, they get distracted, they change, they leave. And when love is sourced from a person, every shift in the relationship feels like a loss of oxygen. That's why, in my opinion, breakups hurt the way they do. That's why waiting feels heavy. That's why being chosen can feel like a relief instead of joy. But not because something's wrong with you. I challenge that. Maybe it's because you've been trying to draw from a well that wasn't meant to supply you. Now that's deep, right? So some of us really we're not, we aren't heartbroken. We're just exhausted from pulling love out of places that were never designed to hold it. And ladies, this shows up in all kinds of ways. And we're gonna go over a few. Listen, it shows up when we check our phones too often. Guilty. When silence feels personal, oof, that one stings. And this is one of us ladies do all the time. When we overthink a tone, a pause, even a delayed response. It shows up when we stay too long, when we shrink to keep peace, when we accept inconsistency because it feels better than absence. And ladies, it always, always, always, always shows up when we say, I'm fine. But our heart, oh, our heart is quietly tired of being strong. Here's the truth that no one says out loud. Wanting love doesn't make you weak, but needing people to be your source will always leave you empty. And this isn't about dating or not dating again, it's about awareness. Because once you recognize where you've been drawing love from, you can finally stop blaming yourself for feeling depleted. Now, who didn't need to hear that today? So, our next segment, next segment we're gonna go a little further into is every heart draws from something. So let's talk about that. Because this is about awareness, not answers yet. So here's the thing: if every heart draws love from somewhere, even when we say we're not looking for it, even when we say, Oh, I'm fine, or when we swear, oh, that's it, I am done. Love, it's funny. It doesn't disappear, does it? Just because we stop dating. It just finds another place to pull from. Does that make sense? You see, some of us draw love from approval, some from productivity. Listen to me. Some from being needed, some from staying busy, some from staying guarded. Who raise your hand can relate to anyone, or if not all of those? I got both mine up. And some of us, we draw love from hope, but never let it land anywhere real. So the question isn't maybe do you want love? Maybe the question is where is your heart currently trying to get it? Oof, that's profound because listen, the source matters. When the source is unstable, well, the heart stays on edge. When the source is conditional, the heart stays anxious. When the source is inconsistent, the heart never fully rests. And a lot of us ladies, listen, don't realize just how tired our hearts are. Not because we've loved too much, but because we've been sourcing our love from things that require constant effort. That's why being strong, well, it can feel exhausting. That's why independence can quietly become isolation. That's why even good things can start to feel heavy. Because effort, ladies, effort makes a terrible source. Love was never meant to be something you earn, manage, or maintain on your own. I needed to hear that. I know, and I hope someone listening need to hear that too. Because listen, until love comes from somewhere steady, everything, everything, everything else will feel like work. Love has a source and it's steady. So listen, I'm gonna get real with you. What shifted everything for me was realizing that love wasn't something I had to chase down or figure out. I already had a source. And once I stopped expecting people, seasons, or circumstances to supply what only a source could provide, my heart finally exhaled. Because here's the truth love that begins in the wrong place will always feel fragile. Am I right? But what about love that comes from a steady source? It doesn't panic when things change, it doesn't disappear when someone leaves, it doesn't demand constant proof. And for me, ladies, that source is Jesus. Not the church answer, I know, not the overused phrase. I'm talking about Jesus, the one who loved me when I wasn't impressive, certain, healed, or hopeful. Jesus, the one who didn't wait for me to be ready. Scripture says it this way, he loved us first, which means before I chose him, before I trusted him, before I even knew what I needed, he already chose this hot mess express. And that is definitely what I was when he found me. I didn't pick him, he picked me. And when love starts there, something shifts. Dating stops being about filling a gap. Relationships stop carrying the weight of your worth. Singleness stops feeling like a holding pattern because love is no longer something that you're waiting on. It's something you're living from. Living from love. Oh, I love that. So let's dig deeper into what that means and what I want us to sit with. So I want to sit here for a few minutes because this idea matters living from love. There's a difference between living for love and living from love. And this is what I mean by that. Living for love sounds like this. Once this changes, then I'll feel secure. Or once someone chooses me, then I'll exhale. Once love shows up, then life can begin. Blah blah blah blah blah blah. But living from love says something completely different. It says, I'm not starting empty. I am not behind. I am not waiting to be worthy. When you live from love, you stop negotiating your value, you stop over-explaining your needs, you stop confusing attention with affection. Living from love doesn't mean you don't want a relationship. Hear me out here. It means though, relationships no longer carry the weight of your worth, and that bears repeating. I'm gonna say it again. You ready? Living from love doesn't mean you don't want a relationship. Of course you do. But it does mean that the relationship is no longer going to carry the weight of your worth. And ladies, that changes everything. When you're dating from love, you're not auditioning, you're discerning. When you're resting from love, you're not giving up, you're grounding. When you're single from love, you're not lacking, you're whole. This is what happens when love has a source that doesn't fluctuate. Because when love starts with Jesus, when you really let yourself believe He loved you first, you don't live trying to earn love. You live from the love you already received. And girls, that kind of love changes how you walk into rooms, how you set boundaries, how you say yes and how you say no. It doesn't make you closed off, it makes you steady. It doesn't make you passive, but it does make you rooted. And a rooted heart girl doesn't rush it trusts. Oh, that is a mic drop. So maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe the question isn't and hear me on this one. I have said this many times. Maybe the question isn't when will love find me? Maybe the question is this. Are you ready for it? What would change if I lived from love today? Oof, let that sink in. You'll know you're living from love when. So let me make this practical because this isn't just a nice idea. Living from love actually, well, it shows up in real life. And you'll know you're living from love when you stop chasing clarity from people who are inconsistent. Not because you don't care, but because your peace matters more. Oof, yes. This next one's a good one, and I know a bunch of you are gonna be able to relate to this. You'll know you're living from love when a delayed tax doesn't send your heart spiraling. You notice it, but it doesn't define you. Ooh, I love that one. You'll know you're living from love when you don't feel the need to prove how okay you are. You let yourself be honest without being dramatic or defensive. You'll know you're living from love when you can enjoy connection without clinging to it. You're present, but not panicked. And you'll know you're living from love when you say no without guilt and yes without overthinking. Oh, wait, I got one more. And you'll know you're loving from love when, I hope you're catching this phrase, when you stop comparing your season to someone else's highlight reel. Oh, yes. Oh, yes, girl. And maybe most importantly, you'll know that you're living from love when life feels less like it's on hold and more like it's already happening. I know you need to hear that. I needed to hear that. Not because everything's perfect, but because your heart is rooted. The living from love practice. So we're gonna have a practice before we go. So before we close, I want to give you one simple practice, not a checklist, not an assignment, just a way to live from love starting right now. And I call it the source check. And here's how it works. The next time you feel unsettled, anxious, lonely, frustrated, unsure, probably when you finish listening to this podcast, I want you to pause for just a moment and ask yourself this question. Are you ready? Here's what you need to ask yourself. What am I trying to get right now? Is it reassurance, validation, clarity, or control? Oof, that's a good one. How many of us are trying to control a situation? Then we need to ask the second question, and this one matters the most. Where am I trying to get it from? So the first one you're asking is what am I trying to get right now? And then the second one is where am I trying to get it from? Am I trying to get it from a person? Am I trying to get it from a response, a decision, a situation changing? And then quietly redirect. And here's how you and here's how you do that. You take a breath and you say, I choose to receive love from the source, not the situation. Now, that might look like a short prayer, like this, Jesus, remind me that I am already loved. Or simply, ladies, maybe it's sitting in the truth that you don't have to earn peace in this moment. This isn't about ignoring your feelings, it's about anchoring them and not getting anchored in the anxious, but anchored in the peace, into the source of the one that loves you. And every time you do this, and it might be an every time, every time for a while, you're practicing something powerful. Practice, okay? Doesn't mean you're gonna have to do it perfect, perfect. You're gonna practice it. You're gonna practice living from love instead of waiting for love to arrive. Do you feel the difference? One is an action, it's a part of your being, it is who you are. You're living from love instead of waiting for it to show up at some undefined time. So before we go, I want to bring us back to where we started. And it starts when you stop looking for love to begin with and already realize it already has. I love that. I hope that hits a home run grand slam for someone listening like it did me. Because listen, love isn't waiting on a calendar date. It isn't delayed by your season, it isn't dependent on who's in or not in your life right now. Scripture, if I might do a scripture drop, it reminds us that He loved us first. That is a holy highlighter moment, which means you were chosen before you ever wondered if you would be. Wow, that that hits home right there. So today, my ladies, don't live waiting for love. Live from love. And one of the simplest ways to practice that is this love someone who might feel overlooked. A text, an invitation, a conversation, a quiet act of kindness. Sometimes the fastest way to remember you are loves is to become love for someone else. So today, if it stirred something in you and you'd like someone to pray with you, you are not alone. You can call the 24-hour prayer line at 855-822-Pray. Someone is there right now, anytime, day or night. And listen, if you are in the Tampa Bay area and you are looking for a community, encouragement, or ways to get connected, you can always visit us at shepherdsvillage.com. That's also where you will find out some information and inspiration about our upcoming Pick Up All Social, a fun, welcoming way to connect, build community, and support single moms and their kids. And while I'm here, I gotta give a shout out to our title sponsor, West Shore Services Florida HVAC. This is their third year as our title sponsor for partnering with us, helping making these moments of connection possible. Remember, ladies, love didn't start when someone noticed you. It started when Jesus loved you first. You're not waiting for love to begin. It already has. This has been Love Doesn't Start With a Person. Have a wonderful week and a happy Valentine's Day. I love you so much. Remember, it's a single mom thing and not a single thing that stops you.
SPEAKER_00:Thanks for listening to It's a Sickle Mom. I hope you enjoyed our time together. If you have a little question about how to have a relationship with Jesus, visit us at www.shepherdvillage.com. For more information and resources, check out.
