Motivation is momentary. Discipline is daily. Determination is permanent.

Motivation is momentary. Discipline is daily. Determination is permanent. And if you’re a single mom trying to build a better future, this episode is for you. Two days into February, the “new year motivation” starts to fade—but this is where real growth begins. In this episode of It’s a Single Mom Thing, Sherry breaks down the difference between motivation, discipline, and determination, and how single moms can use all three to stop surviving and start building. You’ll learn how to break big goals into small bites, stay consistent when life gets hard, and follow through even when you don’t feel like it. Plus, you’ll hear Sherry’s February Follow-Through Challenge to help you take audacious steps toward financial freedom, healing, and forward momentum—without quitting. If you’re in the Tampa Bay area, Shepherd’s Village offers classes, Shepherd’s Village University resources, and a 24-hour prayer line at shepherdsvillage.com.

Transcript

Welcome And Core Message

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to It's a Single Mom Thing, the show for single moms by single moms. This is Sherry, your host, and I am happy you are here today. Remember, it's a single mom thing, and not the single thing that stops you.

Feeling Vs Foundation

Motivation’s Limits In Real Life

Discipline As Daily Structure

Boundaries, Habits, And Dating Yourself

Guarding Words And Building Stability

Determination As Identity Shift

Using All Three: The Strategy

February As The Month Of Follow-Through

Don’t Quit, Reset

The February Follow-Through Challenge

Big Goal, Discipline, Determination Framework

Specific Examples For Goals

Growth Feels Uncomfortable

Make It Stick And Community Resources

Final Encouragement And Outro

SPEAKER_01 0:15

Well, hello ladies, and welcome back to another episode of It's a Single Mom Thing. So I got a question right out the gate for you. Okay, so how many of you, how many times have you started something with the best intentions? You know, like a new year, new goals, new mindset. And then real life came in like uh cute, but I have bills. Because listen, motivation is momentary, I have found. It shows up like a hype friend in January. Motivation loves a fresh start, a new planner, and a cute little vision board. But baby girl, listen, it's February now, and February is where you find out what was a feeling and what was a decision. And that's what we are talking about today. Motivation is momentary, discipline is daily, determination is permanent. Motivation is the spark, discipline is the system, and determination, girl, determination is the identity. It's the part of you that says, I am not going back. And ladies, you are single women listening to this, and you already know this because your life doesn't pause just because you're tired. Am I right? Your kids still need you, your responsibilities still show up, and your future's still waiting for you to build it. So today, listen, we are going to break down the difference between motivation, discipline, and determination. How to use all three, how to stop depending on feelings, and how to show up with what you have. Because listen, one of my favorite quotes, and I'm pretty sure the founder of Shepherd's Village could quote this in her sleep. And it's from Arthur Ash. And I quote, it says, Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can. And ladies, listen, I don't know what your can looks like right now, but I do know this, okay? Listen, God can do a whole lot with a woman who refuses to quit. So who's ready to get in on this action? Okay, so let's start. The difference between a feeling and foundation. Let's break this down in a way that's simple and real because we don't have time for fluffing stuff, okay? So here is the truth. Motivation, ladies, is a feeling where discipline is a decision and determination is a commitment. And if you don't learn the difference, listen, you are going to keep living in this cycle. And this is how it goes. I know you all can relate to this. You'll get motivated. You start strong, you'll hit resistance, and then you stop. And then you start calling yourself things like lazy. But you're not lazy. Listen, you are just trying to build a future on a feeling. And feelings make a terrible foundation. Am I right? Every woman up in here knows that. But listen, let's talk. Motivation, though. Motivation, what is motivation? Well, motivation is the spark, it's the I'm ready moment. Motivation, think of it like this. It's the Monday energy, the January mindset, the post that inspires you, the sermon that convicts you. The moment you're like, that's it. I'm done living like this. And so motivation, it's not bad. And I'm gonna say it again, motivation it isn't bad. It actually is a gift and some strange wrapping paper sometimes. And what does it give you? Well, it wakes you up, it reminds you that you were made for more. But listen, motivation has a weakness, though, okay? Motivation does not show up when life gets hard. Who here is saying amen? I know that. What does it do? Motivation. It disappears when your kids get sick, when your ex triggers you, your boss changes the schedule, the car breaks down, you get a flat tire, a flat bank account, and a flat attitude all in the same day. Motivation is like that friend who says, Oh, I'm coming, and never shows up. You know what I'm talking about. But then let's talk about discipline, then, okay. So, discipline, well, it's different. Discipline is what you do when motivation is gone. Discipline is the structure. Discipline's not doing everything though, okay? It's doing something consistently. And what do I mean by that? Routine, boundaries, habits, follow-through, doing the next right thing, even when you don't feel like it. Discipline, ladies, is who says, I'm tired, but I'm still showing up. And listen, discipline, it doesn't always feel spiritual. And here's what I mean by that. Sometimes discipline looks like this going to bed on time, meal planning and prepping, saying no, keeping a budget, going to counseling, drinking water, taking your vitamins, putting spare change in the change jar, not scrolling social media when you know it steals your peace, turning off your phone notifications and reading your Bible in a year when you would rather be doing something else. Can I get an amen here? Y'all know what I'm talking about. And let me add this one because I know someone here today needs to hear this. Sometimes discipline looks like dating yourself and not dudes right now. Because you don't need another distraction wearing some oh, good cologne and texting YWD at 1047 at night. No, you need healing, you need clarity, you need peace, you need some focus. So, yes, discipline right now, listen to me, discipline right now. Oh my goodness, tongue tied, may mean protecting your heart, choosing wholeness, staying single on a purpose for a season, and building the life you want before you invite someone in it. And before, listen, haters are gonna hate, hate, hate. I'm not saying don't date, date, date. I might be saying, wait, wait, wait. Are you ready for it? Listen, if he's not adding peace, he's getting released. We are moving into a new year, a new you, and that is not coming with you. Now, I'm not about to let us lose focus over a man who doesn't know what he wants. So let's move on. Moving from the man, we're gonna move on to something else. Let's talk about what discipline looks like also when it means watching your words. What do I mean by that? I mean because your mouth is either blessing your future or it's burdening it. You know what I'm talking about. Listen, discipline is saying I will not speak defeat over myself, I will not speak lack over my kids, I will not speak fear over my future. And listen, discipline is definitely not glamorous, but let me tell you something, it is powerful because discipline is what gives your life stability. And girls, single moms, we need stability. We have lived enough chaos. Can I get an amen? So then what's determination? Determination is the identity shift. And what do I mean by that? Determination is when you stop saying, I'm trying, and you start saying, I'm becoming. Determination is permanent because it becomes part of your identity, your DNA. Determination is when you decide I'm not going back to survival mode, I'm not repeating this cycle, I am not staying stuck, I'm not living in fear, and I am not, I am not, hear me again, shrinking to make other people comfortable. No. Determination is the part of you that says, I do not care how long it takes. I'm gonna get there. And ladies, your single women listening, listen, I need you to hear this. You already know this, you already have determination because, girl, you have already survived things you didn't think you could survive. You need to give yourself a little ham clap. Because listen, the issue, the issue isn't whether you're determined, the issue is whether you're aiming that determination at your future, or are you just keeping it to survive, or just using it, excuse me, to keep surviving. Well, you're like, okay, well, uh, I hear you, Sherry, but how the heck do I use motivation, discipline, and determination together? And I'm so glad you asked. Because here's the key. Here's how they can work together. I hope you got some pen and paper, Handy, because we're gonna get into some things you might want to write down. You see, motivation, it starts it, discipline builds it, determination finishes it. Think of it like this motivation is your ignition, okay? Where discipline is your daily drive and determination is your destination. So here's the strategy. Number one, think of it like this: use motivation to set the goal. When you feel inspired, listen, you need to write it down. Don't just feel it because it will flee. Capture it. Because motivation, remember, it is a moment. But in that moment, it can birth a movement if and only if you act on it. So then that leads to number two. You're then gonna use discipline to create the system. Systems, ladies, listen, they beat feelings every single time. You don't need more hype, you're just gonna need a plan. And then to carry out that plan three, you're gonna use determination to stay consistent through consistent through the resistance. Let me slow down for a little bit. Ooh, I'm excited here. Because resistance, it will come. And resistance, ladies, is not a sign that you are failing. On the contrary, really, it's a sign that you are growing. So we're gonna go with that, like showing up with what you already have. Let's let's take a do a little faith tie-in with this, okay? And we're gonna go back to the Arthur Ash quote. I'm gonna say this a couple times. Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can. That's discipline language there. That's what discipline sounds like. Because listen, discipline doesn't ask, how do I feel today? No, you know, think of it like a drill sergeant. Discipline asks, what can I do today? And even if today you can only do a little, girl, you need to do it anyway. It moves the needle because consistency is what changes a life, not intensity. So if you've been waiting on motivation to change your life, let me free you today. Motivation, ladies, think of it like a visitor. Discipline is a builder, and determination is a finisher, and you are a finisher. And if you want this year to look different, you are going to need something stronger than a feeling. You're gonna need follow-through. February is where follow-through is forged. Okay, so let's talk about February because listen, if January is the month of motivation, well then February is the month of follow-through. February is where the cute little new year, new me energy starts fading. You know what I'm talking about. We do it every year, and this is where real life starts testing your commitment. February is when the goals start feeling heavy. February is when you realize, oh snap, this isn't just something I want. This is something I actually have to work at. Ooh. And here's the thing February is when the weight on the bar increases, the cardio goes longer and the incline goes higher. January is when you get inspired, but February is when you get stronger. Girl, if you keep showing up in February, listen to me. You are not just building a habit, you are building a whole new version of you. But what about when motivation fades? Well, discipline needs to take over. So let me say this clearly: if you only move when you feel motivated, you'll only move sometimes. And that's not very far from the sofa. Ladies, sometimes it isn't enough to change your life. That isn't enough to change your life. Discipline is what is going to carry you when you are tired. Discipline is what carries you when your emotions are loud. Discipline is what carries you when you're doing everything for everybody else. I know what you're talking about. I see you. And discipline helps you feel like nobody sees you. Or excuse me, let's go back to that. I'm going to say this again. Discipline is what carries you when you're doing everything for everybody else and nobody sees you. There we go. Discipline is what whispers. Keep going, girl. You got this. Even, hear me out. Even when the results aren't showing up yet. You know, with a meal plan, change a lifestyle change with working out. You have done this many a times. The results don't always show up yet. But girl, you keep showing up. Because listen, you're a single mom. Here's what I know about you because I am you. You are already doing the hard things. And I want to say something that I really, really, really need you to hear. Single moms are some of the most disciplined women on the planet who get no credit. They get some disrespect or sometimes. You are disciplined. How do I know that? Because I know that you are showing up when you don't feel like it. I know you're showing up when you don't have help, when you are emotionally drained, when your bank account's stressed, when your heart's heavy, and when your kids are depending on you. I know this about you. So listen, this episode, it's not about us getting it together, okay? I want to take that pressure off. It's about redirecting. Redirecting what? The strength. The strength, ladies, that you already have. And redirecting it toward the future that you want, because it is possible when you focus on it. Because listen, you are already determined. Now we've just got to aim that determination at something bigger than survival. Because listen, ladies, surviving is what you had to do. But building, that's something different. Building is what you're about to do next. And I know you can do it. So here's some words of encouragement I have for you. Don't let one day turn into a full hard stop, okay? Listen, where this is where I find a lot of women, people, whatever, this is where the momentum, they lose it. When they miss a day, they mess up once, they fall off the plan, and then they start talking crazy things to themselves. You know what I'm talking about. Just start saying things like, I knew I couldn't do it. I'm always like this. I never follow through. I'm not disciplined. Another new year and another new you out the window. Oh, girl, no, we are not doing that this year. Let me free you right now. One off day. Listen, does not cancel your whole future. Stop it. One bad moment doesn't mean you're back at the beginning. It means, girl, you are human like the rest of us. So here's the rule. You don't quit, you reset. I'm gonna say that again. I'll be like your drill to sergeant. You don't quit, you reset. You don't throw the whole week away because you had a hard Tuesday. We all have hard Tuesdays, and then there's wet Wednesday. You don't burn down the whole plan because you had one breakdown, girl. No, you reset. Because discipline isn't perfection, discipline is returning. And here's where I'm gonna throw a little Jesus up on here because listen, God honors consistency. God honors consistency, not performance, not perfection, consistency. And what does that mean? Hear me out. Almost sound like a broken record right here. Showing up again, praying again, trying again, saving again, learning again, healing again, believing again, step and repeat, and do it all again. I know sometimes it feels like your small bites don't matter. I get it. But hear me out. Small bites are how God builds bigger breakthroughs, and isn't that what you want? He multiplies what you bring. So don't despise what feels small. Throw out the feelings out the window, basically, really. I feel like they get us in trouble all the time, anyways. But this is how you show up with what you have, okay? And this is where that Arthur Ash quote comes alive. We're gonna say it again because I want it ingrained in your brain. I want you to start where you are. That's all you can do, is start where you are. Then I want you to use what you have. What do you have right now? And do what you can. Because discipline doesn't require you to have more, it requires you to use what you already have. So, what do you already have? You might be like, I don't have anything. Oh, yes, you do. I'm gonna check you right now. I bet you got 10 minutes. You have a tired body, a small paycheck, spare change, a notebook, a prayer, and a willing heart. Well, guess what? That's enough. Use what you have. You don't need a perfect setup. You know that there's we do not talk about perfection on this podcast. No. But what we are gonna talk about is you need to have is some follow through. So I want you to stop waiting on motivation to come to your rescue. Motivation, we said, is momentary, but listen, discipline. What do we say? Discipline's daily and determination. Determination is permanent. And February, ladies, is your month to prove something to yourself. How many people want to prove to themselves I am not who I used to be? I am not going back. I'm building, I'm becoming, and I'm following through. Okay, good. I'm glad you're here. Stay here. We're gonna do this together because in just a minute, I'm gonna give you a challenge and not a cute one. And it's a February follow-through challenge that can literally shift the direction of your whole year. So stay with me. So if you're still listening, I want you to lean in because this is not a cute February little moment, okay? We are future-building decision making here because motivation might get you started, but discipline is what's going to change our life and determination. We've already determined that determination is what makes you never go back. So here it is. We are not going back. We are looking forward to February with some follow-through. Got your pen and paper rant handy? I hope so. Because I want you to pick one big thing, one goal that feels big, audacious, a little scary, and honestly overdue. Not because you're trying to overwhelm yourself, but because you're tired of surviving. You're ready to build. Now, I want to leave, I want to give you a little secret and share something with you. I have taken on a big audacious goal myself, and I have this new mindset that I tell myself all the time, I'm gonna do it scared. You may have heard it said differently, like feel the failure and do it anyways. I'm doing it scared. Nobody needs to know that I got butterflies inside. Nobody needs to feel like or needs to know that I don't know what I'm doing, but I think I'm gonna learn what I'm gonna need to be doing because I'm gonna be determined and disciplined to move forward. So, you ready to build? Here's the formula, and I want you to remember it. Ready? Big goal, February discipline, determination statement. Let me say that again. We're gonna have a big goal, we're gonna have some February discipline, and then we're gonna have a determination statement. And hold on to your your hats right now. We will get to what that means. I'll give you some action steps because again, I want I want to lay down this foundation. Motivation's momentary. And so if motivation is momentary, I want you to develop some daily discipline and determination that becomes permanent. So let's walk through that. Okay. Here's we'll break this down into an example, but I'm just gonna give you the framework right now. And so, step one, you're gonna pick your big goal. And listen, that goal needs to be specific, not broad. It needs to be a specific statement. Instead of saying, like, save money, you need to say something like, I'm building a thousand dollar emergency fund. Specific. Here's another specific. I'm paying off this one, I don't care. We capital one credit card bill that's$323. I'm enrolling in my nursing school class. I don't know anything about nursing, so pick a class and fill that in the blank. I'm starting counseling with counselor, blah, blah, blah, and my kids on this date at this time appointment booked. Then I want you to choose your February discipline. Now, listen, this is a small bite, that's a morsel. Something that you can do daily, weekly, and consistently. And then step three, we're gonna speak the termination statement. Because your mouth, listen, it matters. You're not just doing this, you're becoming something through it. So let me give you a few examples so you can hear what this sounds like and you can create your own. As promised. Okay, so say um your big goal is an emergency fund. So that's the big goal is an$1,000 emergency fund. Remember, specific. So the February discipline is$5 a day or$25 a week, I'm gonna put away in a savings account. The determination statement is I am building security, not stress. See that? Specific and actionable. Here's another one: paying off debt. If your big goal is, I said, like we said before, we're gonna pay off the Capital One credit card, I think we said was$323. Okay. So the February discipline is gonna be no spend week days or one extra payment a week. And then the determination statement is I don't owe my future to my past. I so love that one. It is so lipstick worthy on your mirror. I don't owe my future to my past. Some of y'all might be saving for a home. So that your big goal is save for a home, a down payment savings of, I don't know. Know it's$41,000. Your February discipline is auto transfer every payday, ten dollars, or could be you know, look for home um home assistance programs in my community. Your determination statement: I'm creating stability for my kids. Some of y'all looking for degrees, sir for certifications. Okay, my big goal is enroll. Say whatever the class is, complete this course by such and such date. February discipline, 20 minutes study time, five days a week. Determine state, excuse me, determination statement. I'm not stuck, I'm in training. Gosh, doesn't that feel good? And listen, for some of y'all that want to do counseling with your kids, okay? So your big goal is healing for the family. Your February discipline is make the call, schedule, and show up. Determination statement. We're not ignoring pain. We are doing the work. Now, ladies, pick yours. Write it down. And if you mess up, you don't quit. You reset. Because this again is not about perfection. This is about a plan that leads to follow through. And so listen, I'm gonna get real with you. It's gonna get hard. So when it gets hard, okay, you don't fall, or if you do, no, you're gonna fall. Let me say that differently. If you fall, you get back up. Isn't that what we tell our kids? And that's it. That's the whole message. And if you cry while you're getting back up, that's normal. Give yourself grace, give yourself mercy, cry a tie out. Tears are not weakness, tears are what happens in the trial. Tears are what happen when you're doing the work and it hurts and it's heavy, and you're stretching into a version of you that you've never had before. So let me say this to you, girl. It will feel different because you're doing something different. You're not gonna feel the same, you're not going to move the same, you're not even gonna think the same. And it might even feel uncomfortable. I'm I'm guessing it's gonna feel uncomfortable. I know that's why I said I'm gonna do it scared. Because growth does that. Ladies, in February, the weight on the bar increases, the cardio goes longer, the incline goes higher, and you know what else happens? Your muscles get sore, you get stiff, you feel the burn, but that doesn't mean something's wrong. Am I right? Anyone that has trained before, you understand that. That means what? Let's be real here. It means that you lifting more, it means that you're in action, that means you're building strength, girl. So listen when life feels heavy and it will, when your heart feels heavy, when you feel tired and you will, don't assume that it's a sign to stop. Sometimes it's just a sign that you're growing, baby girl. So I have something that I want to say that this is a total mic drop moment. Stop waiting until it feels easy. Somebody needs to hear that. Because listen, if you wait until it feels easy, you will be waiting forever. Some of y'all keep waiting to do it until it feels easy. But let me ask you something. I know this is gonna hit some people right between the eyes. It's gonna hit all of us because we're moms. How many of you waited to have a kid until it felt easy? Yeah, I thought so. So I'm just saying, point made. Okay. So we have talked about a lot of heavy things, and you're gonna be taking on a lot of heavy things. So I want to give you some encouragement, okay? I want to be that voice in your head. I want to speak good things over you. You don't need more time, ladies. You don't need more money, you don't need more help. You don't need to stop waiting until it feels easy. Because February, girl, is where follow-through is forged and determination, determination is permanent. So I'm gonna tell you, don't quit, make it stick. I want you to hear that in your head before you go to bed all the time. That girl Sherry, that podcast host, she is just annoying. I hear her in my head all the time saying, don't quit, make it stick. So before I close, and if you're listening and you are in the Tampa Bay area, I want you to know that you are not alone. Well, none of y'all are alone, but I got some in-person moments. I have some digital online moments for wherever you're listening. We have classes, we have resources, we have support through Shepherd's Village University. And you can find more information and inspiration on all of these things at Shepherdsvillage.com and the Shepherds is Plural. And if you need prayer right now, today, in this moment, please know we have a 24-hour prayer line at 855A22 Pray, and someone is there to pray with you and for you. Because you were never meant to carry this by yourself. So, ladies, remember, motivation is momentary, discipline is daily, determination is permanent. So keep showing up, keep following through because February is not where you stop. February is where you make it stick. Have a wonderful week and remember it's a single mom thing and not the single thing that stops you.

SPEAKER_00 27:51

Thanks for listening to It's a Single Mom Thing. I hope you enjoyed our time together. If you have more questions on how to have a relationship with Jesus or need prayer, visit us at www.shepardsvillage.com backslash prayer. For more information and resources, check out our show notes.