It's A Single Mom Thing

Relationship Rehab - Where Are You Planted?

• Shepherd's Village • Season 5 • Episode 34

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Relationship Rehab Series – It’s a Single Mom Thing with Sherry Chandler

Alright sis, grab your gloves — we’re gettin’ dirty. 💅🌱

Because in this week’s episode of Relationship Rehab, we’re not just talking about soil — we’re digging in it.
And sorry if you just got that fresh mani-pedi, but girl… your growth is gonna require some dirt under those nails. 😏

Sherry’s breaking down what it means to grow Kingdom fruit in real soil — not that counterfeit, Instagram-filtered, “I’m fine” kind of ground. We’re talking rich, messy, miracle-grow soil — the kind with a little poo in it. 😉

💬 In this episode, we’re uncovering:
 🌿 What kind of soil your heart’s been planted in — peace or pressure, truth or toxicity.
 🌾 How Ruth reaped in a field she didn’t plant — because favor finds the faithful.
 🌸 How to stop trying to write your own love story and let God grow one better than you could imagine.

Plus, Sherry’s got a little hands-on homework for you — the Forget-Me-Knot Challenge.
You’ll plant a few seeds (literally) to remind yourself that even when you can’t see the growth, God hasn’t forgotten you.

And for my Cold Turkey Crew — listen, this challenge has not thawed out! You’re proving that when you cut off what’s toxic, God can cultivate what’s true. 🔥🙌

So roll up your sleeves, sis.
 We’re gettin’ dirty, digging deep, and letting God show us that the best growth always starts beneath the surface.

📞 Need prayer? We’ve got you 24/7 at 855-822-PRAY.
💙 Join the It’s a Single Mom Thing Facebook group and post a pic of your Forget-Me-Knot pot — let’s see those dirty hands and growing hearts!

Because this week, we’re not planting just flowers — we’re planting favor. 🌿✨

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It's a Single Mom Thing, Not the Single Thing That Stops You!

SPEAKER_00:

Welcome to It's a Single Mom Thing, the show for single moms by single moms. This is Sherry, your host, and I am happy you are here today. Remember, it's a single mom thing, and not the single thing that stops you.

SPEAKER_01:

Hey sis, welcome back to relationship rehab on It's a Single Mom Thing. If you've been walking with me through this series, you know by now rehab isn't about staying comfortable, it's about getting clean. And can I just say from the bottom of my heart that I am so excited and so privileged to walk through this journey with you? Week after week, I see your heart showing up, your faith that is stretching, and your roots that are growing deeper. We're not just healing individually, we're actually growing together as a community, one heart, one step, and one seed at a time. So I want you to settle in, take a breath, and let's dig in. Because today, girls, we are going to check your soil and see what God's ready to grow next. So last week we talked about counterfeit versus kingdom, how feelings can fool you, but fruit always tells the truth. And whoo, girl, I don't know about you, but that one hit a little deep because sometimes we realize the thing we thought was fruitful was really just fast food. But today, girls, we are going to even go deeper. We're not just talking about who's in your life. We're going to be talking about where your roots are. Because listen, where you're planted determines what you produce. Now, maybe you've been standing in a field that feels a little dry. Maybe you've been trying to grow something healthy in the same soil that hurt you. Or maybe you've been wondering if anything beautiful could ever come from this ground again. Well, ladies, I have some good news. We serve a God who knows how to bring a harvest from hard places. You just need to ask Ruth. She was uprooted from everything she knew: her home, her husband, her comfort. And still, this woman followed God into a new field. And wouldn't you know it? He brought a harvest from a place she wasn't even planted in. But he was. So today, listen, we are checking your soil. We're talking roots, fruit, and how to replant your heart in the only ground, the only ground that never fails, the will of God. Because listen, this, my friend, is where you will find peace, purpose, and the kind of growth that lasts. So let's dig in. Check your soil. All right, ladies, so let's talk about your soil. Because the truth is, you can't grow kingdom fruit in counterfeit soil. And let's be real. Most of us love that miracle grow kind of faith. We want that quick fix, the instant bloom, the pretty on the outside kind of growth. But kingdom growth, that's not store-bought. No, that is soul brought. You can't keep expecting peace if you keep planting in chaos. You see, some of us have been wondering why we are not growing. Why we keep running into the same kind of relationships? Anyone out there asking themselves that question? Or what about your asking the same thing like, how come I keep attracting the same disappointments, the same heartbreaks? And girl, maybe it's not the seed, maybe it's the soil. And listen, what is the soil that I'm referring to? The soil is your heart. It's what you believe about yourself, what you feed your spirit, what you allow, my sister, to take root when no one is watching. And listen, if that soil's been hardened by hurt, cluttered with comparison, or poisoned by people who were never meant to pour into you, then nothing good can grow there. That's why the word says, and I quote, but blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes, its leaves are always green. And you can find that in Jeremiah 17, verses 7 through 8. So, girl, you want to know what that means? It means that when you're planted in God, you don't panic in the drought. You don't bend with every breeze. You stand firm because your roots, they go deep. Deeper than emotion, deeper than loneliness, deeper than what they said or didn't say. But let's make this real for a second. Because listen, what I have found is that soil tells a story. Bet you didn't know that, but it most certainly does. Listen, every handful of soil feels different, just like every heart does. For example, dry soil. Well, what do we know about dry soil? It's cracked and crusty. It's been too long since it's seen water. That's the heart that's been trying to live without the living water. Then we got a sandy soil. Well, it looks fine on the top, but slips right through your fingers. That's the heart that struggles to hold on to truth because it keeps shifting with every storm. Then there's the rich soil. It's dark, messy, and full of life. It has been broken down over time, full of nutrients, a little peat, a little nitrogen. Try to get that out. A little nitrogen, a little mess, and you know, the kind that has some poo in it. Had to go there. And sis, believe it or not, that's the kind of soil where the best growth happens. Best growth, listen to me. In the broken down, mixed up, humbled places. So listen, if you just got a fresh manny patty girl, I am sorry, but listen, you're about to get those nails dirty. Because this week I want you to literally go outside and check your soil. Go dig in the dirt, your backyard, your flower bed, even a potted plant by your front door. Get your hands in it, feel it, smell it, examine it. And then I want you to do something silly. What your neighbors might think is silly, but I want you to ask, what kind of soil am I right now? Because here's what happens when you start digging. Sometimes, way beneath the surface, deeper than you expected, you'll hit something, a root. You know the kind I'm talking about. That one that's been there for years. It runs the length of your yard, cracks your sprinkler pipes, messes with your foundation, and chokes the life out of everything trying to grow around it. You try to pull it up with your spade, but the deeper you dig, the more resistance you feel. And suddenly you realize there's nothing above ground to even show that root was there. But below the surface it's been holding up your healing, girl. Ladies, that's what it's like with the stuff we bury in our hearts. Those unspoken hurts, old habits, hidden lies we believed about ourselves. We think they're gone because we can't see them. But listen, they're still there, running deep beneath the surface, cracking foundations, choking joy, blocking your blessings. So this week, ladies, I want to take that shovel to your soul and I want you to ask the Lord, Lord, Daddy, what's been growing here that doesn't belong? And then when you find that root, listen, don't cover it back up with the soil. Listen, listen, girls, let him help you dig it out. Because God, I'm telling you, can't heal what you hide, but he can redeem what you reveal. Because the Master Gardener, he can take even the soil that's been scorched by disappointment and turn it into something fertile again. Just ask Ruth. And that's exactly where we're headed next. Ruth's Field, favor and foreign soil. Okay, so we just talked about all that soil and how we had to dig in and get our hands dirty and really see what's underneath the surface. Okay, so when you start turning that soil over, when you let God break it down and stir it up, here's what's happening: He's preparing it for something bigger. You see, the soil of your heart, it always connects to the field of your future. What God's been cultivating in secret, ladies, is what he's about to bring into sight. And we're gonna talk about that with our girl Ruth. If there was ever a woman who knew something about being uprooted, it was her. You know the story. She lost her husband, she left her home, and she followed her mother-in-law Naomi into a land she didn't know with people she didn't belong to and who probably were not going to accept her. Serving a God she was just beginning to trust. Ladies, Ruth didn't have a five-year plan or a Pinterest board of how her life was supposed to look. She didn't have a man lined up or a ministry mapped out. Oh no, this girl, she had faith and she planted it in obedience. Now, when Naomi told her to go back, send her back home, back to the land she came from, because odds were she was going to find a man there that was going to take care of her and her future. And this is what Ruth said back to her Naomi in response. She said, Where you go, I'll go. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. That's in Ruth 116. Ladies, that's what it looks like to be rooted in God. Not in comfort, not in control, and certainly not in convenience. And here's the beauty of all of this. Once the soil of Ruth's heart was surrendered, listen what happened. God led her straight to the field he had already prepared. She didn't know it yet, oh no, but she was about to glean in a field that didn't even belong to her. A field that he had planted long before she ever arrived. A field that was rich with favor because it had been cultivated by his hand. She wasn't chasing a man, oh no, she was chasing the master gardener. And that's where real growth happens. When you move from tending your own soil to trusting his field. You see, ladies, you don't have to go hunting for favor. Favor finds the faithful. So check this. Ruth was just out there gathering leftovers. And then God said, That's the woman I can trust with more. And speaking of faithful, listen, just yesterday I got a message from one of our relation the relationship rehab listeners this week. I am tongue-tied while sitting on the sofa having some popcorn at nine o'clock at night. And girl, I was just about shouting through the roof when I read it. She said, Sherry, I have officially committed myself literally to this relationship rehab. I am done trying to fix everybody else and finally focused on loving myself well. I'm cutting out distractions, deleting soil saboteurs, and even setting down the glass. No more numbing what God's been trying to heal. Whew! Talk about some hard work. That's what it looks like to start reclaiming your field. Because listen, you can't plant purpose and polluted soil. Sometimes, my ladies, you have got to give up a few things to grow through the right things. That listener, she's doing what Ruth did. She's showing up faithfully, quietly, obediently, and letting God do the cultivating. That's where healing starts. And maybe you needed to hear that too. Maybe it's time to commit yourself, your heart, mind, and spirit to this relationship rehab season. To finally let the master gardener clear the clutter, prune the distractions, and replant your roots in his peace. Because the soil he's been turning over in your heart is the same soil he's using to grow your harvest. Can I get an amen here? I mean, come on, that's good. You see, favor doesn't come from where you're planted, it comes from who planted you. And sometimes, ladies, he'll let you glean in foreign fields so you can discover just how faithful he's been all along. So if you're in a season that feels dry or delayed, hear this. You may not be planted in the field of your dream, but if you stay rooted in God, He'll make sure the field you're in is fertile. Keep showing up, keep trusting, keep gleaning. Because your Boaz moment, your breakthrough, your blessing, your next chapter is being written right now while you're working in the dirt. And maybe, just maybe, God's not only growing something for you, He's growing something in you. Because listen, Ruth didn't just find favor in the field, she found favor in the Father. And ladies, that's the harvest that never fades. Reaping in a field you didn't plant. You know, one of the most beautiful things about Ruth's story that I find is that she reaped in a field she didn't even plant. Now let that set with you for a second. You see, she walked onto someone else's soil, and God said, This is where I'm gonna bless you. She gathered grain she didn't sow under the favor she didn't earn from a future she didn't see coming. And that's exactly how God works. Because when you stay faithful in the dirt, when you let him till and prune and water what's inside of you, he'll bring harvest from the very places you thought were hopeless. I don't know about you, but there isn't a dating app out there that can do that. And listen, maybe you've been working that ground for years, you've cried over it, you prayed over it, fought for it, and you're tired. But hear me, God, I have found never forgets a seed that was planted in faith. Even the tears you've cried have watered something sacred. But here's what I want to pivot for a second. Because listen, before you can truly reap what God has for you, you've got to repair something else. The relationship with you. Yeah, I said it. Before you can receive new love, you have got to learn to love yourself well. Remember way back in episode one when we talked about singularity, how you're not half of something missing, you are whole in Christ. You are one single person. We all are one single person that was born into this world. Singular, that still stands. And maybe just maybe the reason God hasn't let that next relationship take root, and I'm talking to myself here too, is because he's still helping you heal, me heal our own heart soil. Because he's a good God. Remember the listener I just told you about who texts me late at night and was talking about her self-love season that she has committed herself to? That's how you start reaping differently when you start sowing differently. Because what if the next big harvest in your life isn't about romance at all, but about restoration? What if the greatest love story God's writing right now is the one between you and him? Here's what Ruth teaches us. When you trust God with your soil, he'll surprise you with your field. When you learn to love yourself the way he loves you, flaws, cracks, and all, you stop begging people to see your worth. Because listen, hear me out here. You're gonna want to write this down. You start walking like you already know it. Now, you might remember if you've been tracking with me for a long time, way back in season three, episode 23, I did a segment on Find Your Favor and Be Found. In that episode, we talked about how favor isn't something you chase, it's something that catches you when you're faithfully walking in God's will. That's exactly what happened with Ruth. Ruth, listen to me. She didn't go looking for Boaz, she went looking for purpose. And girls, in her obedience, she found favor. Favor found her. So as you step into this week, I want you to picture yourself in that field. Close your eyes. Maybe not the one you dreamed of, but the one God's called you to. And instead of complaining and remaining, asking, well, why am I here? Flip your script and ask, What are you growing in me here? Because your job isn't to make it happen. On the contrary, your job is simply to stay faithful while it happens, to water what's been planted, protect what's growing, and thank God for every sprout of grace you see rising from the ground. And if you've been feeling unworthy of the harvest, remember this, my sister. Ruth didn't earn her field, she simply walked in obedience until favor found her. She found herself living out a love story she didn't write. And even if she tried to, she could have never, ever, ever, ever come up with a story so blessed, so eternal, so beautifully redeemed. And maybe, again, just maybe, I like saying that. That's exactly what God is doing in you right now. Write a love story you couldn't have planned, predicted, or penned, but that's perfect in his hands. Because when your heart is healed, your soil is ready, and your field is full, that's when his favor flows freely. Forget me not, faith, and favor exercises. This is where we are going to close today. And so I want to give you one last relationship rehab assignment. Something simple but sacred. This week, ladies, okay, I want you to take a little trip to your local gardening store. And if you can't make it, then hop online to Amazon or Walmart or wherever. And I want you to order yourself a pack of forget me not seeds. And it's K-N-O-T seeds. Then find a beautiful pot, okay? Something that feels and looks like you, something that when you look at it, it just puts a big old grin on your face. And then I want you to get some good soil, rich with dark, alive, you know, the kind that's got that little poo in it. Mm-hmm. That's the soil where real growth happens, right? Messy, mixed up, full of life. And then I want you to plant those tiny blue seeds. Follow the instructions on the packet for watering and sunlight and where you need to put them and set them somewhere. You'll see them every day. And as you press through the soil, you get those nails dirty. I want you to whisper this prayer. Are you ready? Lord Jesus, as I plant these seeds, help me remember you have not forgotten me. Forget me not, Father, as I let your favor grow. Ladies, keep, I would even challenge you to keep the seed packet too. Tape it inside your journal, tuck it in your Bible, or give it to another sister who needs to not forget me not. And put it on your mirror, even as a reminder that even when you can't see what's happening beneath the surface, God is still growing something beautiful for you. Because just like Ruth ladies, you are learning to stay faithful in the field, even if your seed is only the side of a size of a mustard seed. And in time, those tiny blossoms will become your living testimony. Proof that God remembers every seed, every tear, and every act of obedience. And hey, I want to see your garden grow too. So when you plant your forget me not seeds, take a picture of your pot and post it in our It's a Single Mom thing Facebook group. Let's fill that bead with blue blooms of faith and favor, reminders that we are not forgotten and that we are growing together as sisters in Christ. So before we go, can I just say I am so proud of our cold turkey crew? Y'all have shown up, stood firm, and stayed faithful, and this challenge I know has challenged you, but you are so worth it. And it has not thought out. We still got time on that clock. You see, you're proving that when you cut off what's toxic, God can cultivate what's true. So keep going. Keep showing up in your growth season. Every day you stay cold, listen is another day your heart heals warm. And remember, if you need prayer, we're here for you always. Our 24-hour prayer line is open at 855-82 to pray. You don't have to walk through this season alone. So, ladies, take a deep breath. You have dug deep today. You checked your soil, stepped into your field. Now plant your reminder a favor. So next week, we are talking about what happens once things start to grow. How to guard your garden without building walls. It's episode four Boundaries or Brick Walls. Because healing doesn't mean hiding lace, it means protecting what God is planting. So have a wonderful week and remember it's a single mom thing, and not a single thing that stops you.

SPEAKER_00:

Thanks for listening to It's a Single Mom Thing. I hope you enjoyed our time together. If you have more questions on how to have a relationship with Jesus or need prayer, visit us at www.shepardsvillage.com backslash prayer. For more information and resources, check out our show notes.

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Sherry Chandler

Host