Relationship Rehab: The Check-In (Episode 1)

Are you ready to check yourself into Relationship Rehab? In this first episode of our brand-new series, we’re digging deep to uncover deception, break free from sabotage, and reclaim the truth of who we are in Christ as single women and single moms.

Why now? Because the holiday season is coming — and nothing tempts us to settle for counterfeits like Christmas lights, cold weather, and a little mistletoe. This is your pregame before the season hits, so you don’t fall into the same traps of swipes, situationships, and sabotaging your own heart.

This week we’re asking 3 powerful rehab check-in questions:
 1️⃣ Am I falling for feelings instead of truth?
 2️⃣ Am I mistaking singleness for punishment instead of preparation?
 3️⃣ Am I falling in love with the idea of love instead of the Author of love?

Through raw honesty, biblical truth, and a little sass, we’ll flip the script on singleness and love. Because let’s be real — butterflies don’t pay bills, sparks don’t heal trauma, and chemistry doesn’t cover character. 💥

And don’t miss the end, where I share a challenge I call Cold Turkey Before Turkey Day. Let’s just say something’s cooking — but you’ll have to listen to get the recipe. 👀

👉 Tune in now to reclaim your worth, refresh your vision, and fall back in love with being singular — so you can stand strong in truth and avoid counterfeits this holiday season.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome & Relationship Rehab Setup
• 0:26 Fall Feelings vs. Truth
• 2:34 Singular: Whole, Not Half
• 4:22 Dedication & Host’s Lived Experience
• 4:59 Rehab Question 1: Feelings or Truth
• 8:10 Red Flags, “Savior” Traps, and Fruit Test
• 11:01 Lies Singles Believe & Replacing Them
• 12:44 Rehab Question 2: Punishment or Preparation
• 16:25 Standards, Options, and Discernment
• 18:42 Rehab Question 3: Idea of Love vs. Author of Love
• 21:32 Chemistry vs. Character for Single Moms
• 23:37 Identity in Christ and Self-Love
• 25:22 Recap, Sassy Sayings, and Prayer Line

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Welcome to It's a Single Mom Thing. The show for Single Moms by Single Moms. This is Sherry, your host, and I am happy you are here today. Remember, it's a single mom thing, and not the simple thing that stops you.

SPEAKER_01: 0:21

Well, hello ladies. Now I'm gonna open up this podcast with a little question. So let me ask you something real quick. Are you ready to check yourself into some relationship rehab? Yeah, I said it. You heard me right, rehab. Because some of us are out here sabotaging our own hearts and settling for less than God's best. And then we're wondering why we keep ending up with the same old heartbreak. And I get it, listen, it's fall. The air is cooler, the boots are popping, and suddenly everyone's posting pumpkin patch picks in their best flannels with their boo. And you, you start thinking, hmm, maybe this is the year I fall in love. But can I be straight with you? Before you go looking for somebody to fall with, you better fall back in love with being singular. Now, what do I mean about singular? Singular means you whole, complete, focused, and rooted, not fractured, not half of something waiting for the other half to complete you. Girl, because listen, you weren't born a half, you came into this world a whole single. You'll stand before God single. And listen, this season, it's not punishment, it's preparation. Now I'm gonna say that again. This season isn't punishment, it's preparation. But here's where the deception loves to creep in. When we start chasing feelings instead of truth, loneliness whispers, FOMO screams, and social media shouts. And this is what they say, everyone else has someone. And before you know it, you're knee deep in a situation ship that you should have been over before it began. That's not love, sis. That's sabotage. And let's be real, it's almost like an addiction. Oh, just one more swipe, one more app hit, one more DM, and maybe this time it'll stick. Maybe if I just change my profile one more time or put up this picture, it'll hook me the one I'm looking for. You feel me? I know you do. So here's what you're doing, and what we're gonna be doing in this series. We're going to be checking ourselves into rehab. Can I get an amen? Not because something's wrong with you. Listen, no, no. But because you're reclaiming who you are as a single and whose you are in Christ. You see, rehab isn't about shame, it's about restoration. It's about detoxing from lies, breaking free from settling, and coming back to the truth that you are already chosen, already loved, and already whole. This, my sister, is the pregame before the holidays hit. So you don't keep hitting that swipe. Because let's be honest, nothing will tempt you to fall for the wrong thing like Christmas lights, cold weather, and a little mistletoe. But this year, oh no, we are flipping the script. We are not falling for counterfeits. We're falling in love with the one who loved us first, and we're letting him write the next chapter in our romance novel. And before we dive in, listen, first of all, I want to dedicate this episode to every single woman out there who's been looking for love in the wrong spaces and the wrong places. I'm not talking at you from some pedestal, okay? I've been there, I've looked, I've longed, I have walked these dating streets, and I have settled, and I have been hurt. So hear me. I'm not just here with a microphone. I am here in the heart, and I am here with you on this journey as a single woman who knows what it means to rehab her heart. So welcome to It's a Single Mom Thing Relationship Rehab Episode One. So let's check in and check those lies at the door. Question number one in our relationship rehab. Am I falling for feelings instead of truth? Now before we dive into this rehab question, let me give you a little disclaimer. This podcast isn't surface level stuff, okay, sis? This is gonna sting a little. Rehab isn't meant to be comfortable, it's meant to be cleansing. And if you're here because you want real change, if you're ready to stop sabotaging and start standing in truth, then you've come to the right place. But hear me out. Listen, maybe you're not there yet, and that's okay. Maybe you're just listening, just peeking in that door. That's okay too, sis. Listen, you can still lean in, take notes, and let some seeds get planted. Because even if you're not ready to do the hard work today, God can water those seeds and bring the growth when you are. So before we step into that question, I want you to pause with me for just a moment. And if you're driving, keep your eyes open. But I am gonna ask for you to close your eyes, okay? So you got them closed, okay. But your eyes are open if you're driving, right? Okay. So listen, take a deep breath. Now picture this. It's your wedding day. You're standing there dressed in your gown that you've always imagined. Your family, your friends, your people, they're all around you. You see it? The music starts. You take that walk down the aisle, and then comes the moment that I do. For the first time, you are introduced as Mr. and Mrs. Blah blah blah. We're gonna keep it neutral, not letting somebody that it's a nobody right now hijack this moment, okay? Do you see it? Do you feel it? That's desire, that's the vision in your heart to be loved, to be chosen, to step into covenant, not counterfeit. Okay, so open your eyes and fix your gaze on this. If that's the future you're praying for, girl, listen, you can't afford to settle for less on the way there. You can build that future on lies, deception, or quick fixes. But a firm future has to be built on a firm foundation. And that brings us to our first rehab check-in question, going back to where we started. Am I falling for feelings instead of truth? See now listen, feelings aren't bad, we know that. Somebody call a tow truck, please. Because loneliness, as we said before, it whispers. FOMO, it screams and social media shouts. Everybody else has someone. And before you know it, you're knee deep in a situationship that should have been over before it began, right? That's what we said before. But we're gonna dive deep into that. So who am I talking to right now? Ladies, here's the dangerous part. Deception makes you justify it. You start calling red flags potential. That's right. That should cause the sister to pull over off the side of the road and drive her in the other direction. Am I right? But no, oh no. Who here hasn't ignored some red flags? I know I have. There's no judgment here, okay? Something else you do. You excuse excuses, you label inconsistency as progress. And maybe this is where you need to hear me the loudest. You are not his rehab. Jesus is the savior. You are not, girl. Okay. I know somebody listening felt that stung of that. I know I did the first time I heard that. You see, every time you step into that savior role, you're not loving him. You're losing you. You're playing rehab, and what you really should be longing for is romance. That's sabotage. And you deserve more. Deep down though, you know that. But maybe, maybe you don't want to hunker down and wait for what you're worth. So here's your first rehab step. Ask yourself, is this relationship pulling me towards God's truth or just feeding my feelings? Because if all he offers are butterflies without boundaries, girl, that's not love, that's a counterfeit. Here's an easy litmus test, okay? But you've got to answer it in truth, okay? Does his tree bear fruit? Look at it. Is there fruit on that tree or is he fibbing? You see, because fruit sustains a family. Fibs, they only feed your addiction for more of the wrong thing. Are you settling for crumbs because you've convinced yourself that's all you deserve? Are you living with hunger pains because you're starving for more? Now here's how you know you've eaten some bad fruit, because that can happen too. Are you anxious, restless, even bothered in your spirit? Or are you content and at peace? Am I spending more time with God or apart from him because of this relationship? Does he say he's Christian but rolls his eyes when you want to go to church instead of hang out with him on a Sunday? Do you say things like, do you say things like, oh, I can't live without him, or he is my everything? Do you find yourself giving him more of your time than giving yourself, your kids, or even God? Ladies, those are your red flags. Those are what we're gonna call in this series our rehab alerts. And it's time to pay attention before you swerve off that road again. Now, maybe you're listening and you're not even with a man right now. You're single. But listen, sis, that doesn't mean your feelings can't hijack you too. So let me ask you this. Have you ever caught yourself saying things like, maybe I'm too much? Maybe I'm not enough. My standards are too high, maybe. If I was prettier, skinnier, smarter, then maybe I'd be chosen. Everybody else is moving on and I'm being left behind. Or do you say this too? Maybe God forgot about me. Those thoughts, ladies, that's deception whispering to your soul. Those are lies trying to take root in your heart. And if you believe them, they will steer your feelings straight into sabotage, even when there isn't a man in the picture. So here's the truth you're not too much, and you are not not not enough. You are not forgotten, you are not behind. You, my sister, are exactly where God has you on purpose in the season for his reason being prepared. So before we move to the next check-in, pause with me and ask yourself, what feelings am I letting hijack my truth? Because feelings, they can be loud, but God's truth, lady, needs to be louder if you'll let it be. Now, sis, deception may hijack your feelings, but truth will set you free. And the truth is this you are not too much. You are not not enough, as we said, and you are not forgotten. And those bear repeating, that's why I did it again. Whether you are coupled or uncoupled, listening, everyone, I want everyone listening to say this with me. I am single, singular, as I was created to be. That doesn't make you less than. That's God's design. That's your foundation, and that's where we start this rehab journey and our rehab session. Because whether you're coupled or uncoupled, we are all singles. Okay, so moving on to question two. And this is what question two is. Am I mistaking singleness for punishment instead of preparation? So, ladies, let's check in with this question, okay? Because let's be real. Culture loves to tell us that if you've been single too long, something must be wrong with you. And sometimes even church culture reinforces that without meaning to. I mean, think about it. How many sermons, retreats, or small groups are built around marriages, families, or couples? And if you're single, you can start to feel invisible, like the message isn't really for you. Now, I'm not blaming or shaming the church here, okay? Families and marriages matter. But when singles aren't spoken to directly, the enemy has a way of slipping in with a lie. And he whispers, you don't belong here, you are incomplete. Girl, you are only waiting for your real life to start. But let me say this as plain as I can. Not today, Satan. Because listen, ladies, if you're listening to this, I'm gonna say this again. You are not incomplete, you are not on pause, you are not half a person waiting for another half to finally make you whole. You are simply single, singular, whole, exactly as God created you to be. And here's the thing: even married couples, at the end of the day, they're still two singles, two individuals who choose to walk into covenant together. But that covenant only stands strong if each person is already strong and whole first. Two halves, you girl, you know, girl, don't make a hole. They make a H-O-L-E a hole, and that hole will swallow a marriage. But two holes, two singles who know who they are in Christ, that's what makes a relationship holy. So hear me. Singleness isn't punishment, it's not a holding cell where God sticks you because you didn't get it right. And that's true whether you are a divorced single, a never married single, or a mama raising kids from an out-of-wedlock relationship. Hear me out. None of that disqualifies you, none of that makes you less. Your story, it may look different, but your worth hasn't changed. Singleness, it is preparation. It's the season where God strengthens you, heals you, and roots you so you can walk into the future whole. Now, let me put it like this. Singleness isn't a waiting room, okay? It is a weight room. And what do we do in a weight room? You build muscle, you build character, you build standards, you build faith. Because the truth is you don't stumble into a healthy relationship, you grow into one, and as your muscle grows, you will find that you can lift more. So here's your next rehab step. Stop seeing this season as punishment and start seeing it as preparation. Instead of asking, why am I single? Flip it and ask, what is God preparing me while I'm single? Now I have to do that myself, okay? So I'm preaching to the choir. So let's take this one step further. Because listen, this happens like all the time. When somebody asks you, maybe inadvertently, maybe being nosy, so why are you still single? You look them in the eye and you say, because I haven't met the one who meets my standards. Can I get an amen? Listen, don't you dare fall into the trap that you don't have options because girl, you do. And I am right about that. I know I am. The issue isn't that there are no options, it's that you refuse to settle for the ones that don't align with your worth.

unknown: 16:46

Mic drop.

SPEAKER_01: 16:48

You see, you don't want to choose someone just to buy time or fill a void. You want the one that matches the vision God placed in your heart. The vision we opened this podcast with when you pictured your wedding day. Now that's not pride, sis, no. That's discernment. That's strength. And that's you walking in preparation, not punishment. Because listen, he's not holding out on you, he's holding you together, and he's building something in you that a counterfeit could never give you. So say it with me. I am single, singular, as I was created to be. Question number three. Am I falling in love with the idea of love instead of the author of love? Oof, so let's check in with that. You see, because there's a difference. Falling in love with the idea of love, well, it feels magical at first. It's butterflies, sparkles, late night talks, and those good morning texts. And listen, oh, there's nothing wrong with wanting those things, not at all. But here's the trap. And this is what I like to call, this is what I call this area. It is the chemical romance phase. Because that's literally what it is. A flood of chemicals firing off in your brain and a body that makes you feel high on love. Dopamine, oxytocin, and all those feel-good hits. Mm-hmm. And yes, it feels amazing. But sis, that chemical cocktail can cloud your vision. It can keep you from seeing the real person standing in front of you, or from even remembering what you said you really wanted in a relationship. And this is exactly why we are in a series called Relationship Rehab. Rehab is where you face what's been clouding your judgment, kind of like a set of beer goggles. Rehab is where you detox from what feels good so you can finally see what is good. Rehab is where you stop confusing the rush for the real thing and start rebuilding on the truth. Because here's the hard truth. Those chemicals don't care about your kids. That rush doesn't change diapers, help with homework, or show up at the parent-teacher conference. And he's not their father, so those chemicals won't stop him from resenting the role your kids play in your life. Butterflies don't blend families. Sparks don't raise children, and chemistry doesn't cover character, but your home. Because you see, what feels good for a season can wound your children for a lifetime. And that's why we rehab to break free from deception before it breaks what we love most. So here's the truth. But the author of love, Jesus Christ, he anchors you in something that lasts. His love never fades, never deceives, and never leaves you. So here's your rehab step. Stop chasing the fantasy and fall deeper in love with the one who is love. Because when Christ is your first love, every other relationship gets measured against him. And sis, ladies, that's how you avoid the counterfeits. I know that's not what the world teaches you. And sometimes I think even in church culture, it doesn't teach the singles that. So say it with me. Christ is my first love. Christ is my forever love, and in him I am already complete. Now, let's take this one step further because listen, if you are in Christ, if you call yourself a Christian, then here's what you need to be reminded of. Then love isn't something outside of you that you're chasing. Love, it dwells in you. The Spirit of God lives in you. That means love is already a part of you, not a part from you. You don't have to beg for love, bargain for love, or break yourself for love. You are love. Because the one who is love abides in you. But here's the question I want to leave ringing in your heart. Do you love yourself the way God loves you? Not the way a man may or may not love you, not the way culture defines love, but the way the Father calls you beloved, chosen, whole. Because if you don't love yourself through his lens, you'll keep falling for lies through everyone else's. And that's what this series, Relationship Rehab, is about. Learning how to love yourself in singleness. Learning how to love your life as a single woman. Learning how to love this season instead of despising it. Because when you learn to love single living, you stop falling for counterfeits and you start standing in Christ's truth. So ladies, listen, here's a final check-in for today. You're single. You are singular. You are love. Now the question is, will you love yourself the way God already loves you? So as I close, let's wrap up this first episode in relationship rehab. Okay? So today we're gonna check in with the three questions, rehab questions that we talked about. One, am I falling for feelings instead of truth? Two, am I mistaking singleness for punishment instead of preparation? And three, am I falling in love with the idea of love instead of the author of love? And listen, these aren't one and done questions. Oh no, these are the kind you keep coming back to when your feelings start running the show, when culture starts whispering lies, or when the idea of love feels louder than the truth of God. So, of course, I got some sassy sayings I want you to write down, stick on your mirror, your fridge, or maybe even your steering wheel when you want to drive yourself off the road. Okay, one feelings make a fun date, but a terrible foundation. Or two halves don't make a hole, they make a hole. Butterflies don't pay bills, sparks don't heal trauma, chemistry doesn't cover character. And number four, I am single, singular, as I was created to be. Let those words remind you of what's true when deception tries to hijack your heart, sister. Now maybe you need more than sayings, maybe you need prayer. Don't forget, we've got our prayer line open for you at 855-822 Pray. You don't have to walk through this rehab journey alone. Call in. Let us stand with you and let God remind you that you are seen, you are loved, and you are never forgotten. Now, next week we're gonna keep building on this foundation. We'll be digging even deeper into what it looks like to rehab your relationship with yourself. So you can stop settling and start high-stepping into the future God has for you. Now, before I let you go, I want to leave you with a rehab challenge, because I cannot not let you have some type of challenge to put forth this week. And I'm gonna call it the cold turkey before turkey day. So here's your challenge, if you so choose. For the next 30 days, I want you to go tech-free in your love life. No swipes, no late night hey stranger techs, no scrolling through his socials or looking for love in the wrong places. Just you, your Bible, your journal, and your God. That's it. Because sometimes the only way to hear God clearly is to silence everything else. So here's your homework. Check in with those three questions, stick those sayings somewhere you'll see them, and call the prayer line if you need encouragement and take the cold turkey challenge. Not the cold turkey plunge. I like that though. Because this this fall, we're not falling for counterfeits, we are falling back in love with being singular. Rooted in Christ and ready for the future, he is riding for us. Challenge accepted? Okay. So I'll see you next week in a little relationship rehab, part two. Have a wonderful week and remember it's a single mom thing, and not a single thing, it stops you.

SPEAKER_00: 26:07

Thanks for listening to It's a Single Mom Thing. I hope you enjoyed our time together. If you have more questions on how to have a relationship with Jesus or need prayer, visit us at www.shepherdsvillage.com backslash prayer. For more information and resources, check out our show notes.