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It's A Single Mom Thing
Welcome to “It's A Single Mom Thing,” the show for single moms by single moms, hosted by Sherry Chandler.
Being a solo momma and present parent is hard work, and losing focus is easy when you forget your faith. The good news is you are not alone. You were singled out this season, and together, we can work on what’s not working for you—finding Christ in the crisis! Whether you’re tuning in early in the morning or late at night, I’m here for you, momma.
This podcast is your go-to space for navigating life as a single mom with faith, fun, and a fresh perspective. We'll cover everything from mastering a single-mom success mindset and budgeting like a boss to prioritizing self-care and raising resilient kids. We’ll share time management hacks, parenting perspectives, co-parenting challenges, and how to find joy and laugh again. Together, we’ll move from surviving to thriving in every season of single motherhood.
Be encouraged. Get inspired. You can do this, momma.
Each Monday, join me for practical advice, relatable stories, and uplifting conversations as we walk this journey from solo momma to solo momma. I promise not to take too much of your time, and I’m so grateful you’re spending it with me.
It may be a single mom thing, but it doesn’t have to be the "single thing" that stops you!
It's A Single Mom Thing
Part 1: Looking Through Their Eyes: Parenting with Perspective
In this raw and revealing episode of It’s A Single Mom Thing, host Sherry kicks off a powerful new series: Looking Through Their Eyes: Parenting with Perspective.
Sis, before you react to your child’s behavior—what if you paused and asked: “Is this really about them… or is it a reflection of me?”
In Part 1: Slow Down, Mama: Seeing Yourself, Hearing Them, and Healing Together, Sherry gets honest about the triggers, the yelling, the "perfect mom" pressure, and the emotional baggage we sometimes pass on without even knowing it.
You’ll learn:
Why your child’s behavior might be mirroring your own
How to be present (not perfect)
What your reactions reveal—and how to shift them
How to begin healing so your child can too
PLUS: A journaling challenge, a soul-soothing prayer, and a reminder that it’s never too late to change the reflection in your parenting mirror.
💗 Need prayer or support? Don’t go through it alone—reach out through our prayer line (details in show notes).
🎧 It’s a single mom thing—and not the single thing that stops you.
It's a Single Mom Thing, Not the Single Thing That Stops You!
Welcome to it's a Single Mom Thing, the show for single moms by single moms. This is Sheri, your host, and I am happy you are here today. Remember it's a single mom thing and not the single thing that stops you.
Speaker 2:Hey, hey, hey girls, Welcome to another episode of it's a Single Mom Thing, the podcast for women doing it all but learning they don't have to do it all alone. So quick heads up. Just in case you haven't noticed before we dive in, I'm sounding a little sniffy today Sniffy, sniffles, whatever. So apologies in advance if I start sounding like a cartoon elephant, let's blame it on. Either I don't know the pollen, or maybe it's just the single mom hustle catching up to me. But never fear sniffles and all. Your girl, sherry, is here, mom mentor and your favorite straight talker, with a soft spot for second chances. And if you already know the deal, well, you do. It's a single mom thing and not the single thing that stops you, sniffles included. So today we're kicking off a brand new series that's really close to my heart, called Looking Through their Eyes Parenting with Perspective and baby. We're going in Title of today's episode in our first part of the series is called Slow Down, mama, seeing Yourself, hearing them and Healing Together, because sometimes, before we can fix what's happening with our kids, we've got to get real about what's happening in us.
Speaker 2:We're talking about the mirror moments, you know, when your child is reflecting something back at you, and it's not always pretty. We'll dig into how we show up, how we listen or don't, and why staying busy chasing distractions or even rushing into the next relationship might actually be leaving our babies emotionally bankrupt. This ain't about guilt, though. You know I ain't about that trip, but it is about growth. So go ahead, grab your coffee I got mine, journal and don't forget to take a moment to just breathe, sis. So let's get into this. The mirror moment, seeing yourself in your child. All right, ladies. So let's talk about the mirror. So listen, I don't mean the one in your bathroom that you barely get time to look into. No, I'm talking about the little mirror. Yeah, the one that's walking around your house calling you mommy. You see, our kids have this wild ability to reflect what's really going on inside of us, even when we think we're holding it all together.
Speaker 2:Ever snapped at your child for being too emotional when you've been stuffing yours for weeks? Or maybe, just maybe they've been super anxious or extra clingy or lashing out for no good reason, and then you realize, oh shoot, that's how I've been feeling too that my ladies is what I call the mirror moment. You see your reflections. So listen, they don't need perfect, they need present. But here's the thing Presence requires well awareness and listen. And if you're running on fumes, stuck in survival mode or avoiding your own healing, you might be missing what your child is really showing you. So let me say it with a little love and some sniffles and a little snap to it Sometimes the behavior we want to correct in our kids is the wound we need to address in ourselves.
Speaker 2:I know that one slings and stings a little, but this is not about shame, okay, so let's build a bridge and get over that. It's about the shift. You see, the goal isn't to feel guilty. Actually, it's to get a little curious. Curious about what? Well, ask yourself, what part of me is my child mirroring right now? Is it fear? Is it frustration? Is it the hustle that you haven't paused since the breakup? Because, ladies, listen, your child might not know the words for what they're feeling, but they sure know how to show it. I mean, look if you've got one of them in a timeout right now for an outburst. Sis, I see you. So you need to stay tuned because we are all in this together the power of presence, not performance.
Speaker 2:All right, ladies, now that we've seen how our children can be a mirror to what's going on inside of us. Let's talk about how we show up for them. So here's a question for you. Okay, I want you to think about this for a moment. Are you trying to be the perfect mom or the present mom? Because, listen, perfection it's exhausting and, honey, your kids don't need a Pinterest worthy mom or a flawless routine. Now, yes, I have said that before in other podcasts and I'll say it again, because it always bears repeating, you see, because what they really need is you fully there, fully present, even if you're running on three hours of sleep and prayer and sniffles.
Speaker 2:Now, if I'm honest okay, listen, your girl Sherry, I am not always present. I have many what I like to call squirrel moments, and here's how I know when I'm not present. One, if I find myself walking fast just to get to the next thing on my to-do list. Two, if I'm staring off into space. Three, if I'm slouching in my chair, as my teacher in school used to say get off your spine. You're sitting on your spine. Or let's say, I have five tabs open on my computer, or maybe I'm even thinking about what I have to do next. Well, here's another one. Have you ever done this For me?
Speaker 2:I'll be in a conversation with someone, but I'm thinking more about my reply than what actually the other person is saying. Does any of that sound familiar to y'all? You see, I'm telling you, mama, that, listen, if you do this too, can't you see that you are in some good company here? But here's the thing. You can't you see that you are in some good company here, but here's the thing I'm talking about those moments when you drop the phone. This is what I want you to think about. I want you to drop the phone, silence the notifications and actually listen, but listen not to just hear their words, but to actually hear them. You see, your child might say I'm fine, but, girl, you know that their body language, their little size or the way they cling to you might say something else entirely different. Hmm, gee, do you ever do that? I mean, I don't know where they get it from. Seriously, I get it because you listen.
Speaker 2:So much of parenting as a single mom is about juggling. It's a full-time circus sometimes, and sometimes you're the ring master and the clown all at once. But if you're so busy performing the perfect act for everyone else, well, girl, you are going to miss the real show, the real needs of your kids. So here's my challenge for you, right here, straight up in the middle of the podcast Put down the shoulds and pick up your presents Presents, okay, listen, there are presents in the present moment, when you're present, because, the truth is, your kids aren't looking for a superhero. That's what cartoons are for. They're looking for a safe place to just land, and that safe place it's you, not your schedule, not your job, not your next relationship. Okay, they want the you that's here right now. And here's the good news. You know that their attention span can be as short as your patience sometimes, and sometimes all they need from you is a quick grab and go, while other times they may need a little more of you.
Speaker 2:The snap out of it challenge. All right, ladies, now that we're seeing the mirror and owning our presence or our not so present moments, let's get real with a snap out of it challenge. This one's not about judgment, though Okay, listen, I hope you never feel that for me. Nope, it's about owning what's really going on so you can start shifting it for you and your babies. So here's what I want you to ask yourself and your babies. So here's what I want you to ask yourself when are you reacting instead of responding?
Speaker 2:Okay, so, maybe your kiddo throws a tantrum and you find yourself yelling back or shutting down. I get it, that's the easy thing to do. Maybe your parents did it to you too. And let me tell you something very important about all this Yelling is often to me a clear sign you are not present. You just want to take charge, make things, stop and move on. I know, I know in that moment you may be busy or overwhelmed yourself no blame in this game, okay, and slowing down to redirect their steps actually might feel impossible or like the last thing that you have to do or have time to do. So I get it. But listen, here's what's funny If you take a minute and think about the little you for a moment, that's the when you were a kid moment. That's where we're going back to the old school.
Speaker 2:So I want to ask you what did you do when your parents or parent flew off the handle? Did you tune them out, mock them in your mind, yell back at them, even cover your ears? Did you even take them seriously? Or were you just waiting for that moment to pass so you could get back to what you were doing and tell me this was the yelling. Was it even effective, or did it just make you want to yell back too? The yelling was it even effective, or did it just make you want to yell back too? You see, that's real talk, because listen, oftentimes I have found that yelling only teaches our kids how to raise their voices louder, not how to listen or heal, but responding hmm, now listen, that's where we can get some work done. That's a whole different vibe. It's when you pause, take a breath and choose a calm way to handle what's happening. Honestly, you will be glad you did. Oddly enough, you may find that nipping it in the butt sooner than later actually saves you time and possibly a headache too. So now let's talk about those triggers, because we all have them. You see, maybe it's your kid's selfishness that gets under your skin, or the way they avoid responsibility. Maybe they're always blaming someone else for their problems, or that stubborn pouting that just won't quit. So now pause for a second. Do they see you doing this? Do you catch yourself sometimes acting the same way, maybe blaming, maybe avoiding, maybe retreating into a pity party? You see, our kids are watching us all the time. They're learning how to be by watching how we be. So when you see those behaviors driving you nuts squirrel, it's worth asking what part of that is really a mirror of what's inside me. This isn't about blaming yourself okay, so that's not where we're going but it is about noticing and taking back your power. That's not where we're going, but it is about noticing and taking back your power, because when you start healing those parts in you, you're going to give your kids permission to do the same.
Speaker 2:So finally, think about this. What emotions in you are spilling over into your child's heart and mind? Is it fear, anxiety, anger, exhaustion? And then ask yourself where are those feely bleh? What are those feelies? Where are those feelings really coming from? Is it because another relationship didn't work out and now your heart's in pieces again, ooh, okay. Or is it a financial shortfall robbing you of peace and sleep? Might be that Maybe you've been carrying resentment. That's a heavy load because boundaries with their father keep getting crossed or, worse, they were never communicated in the first place. Oh, snap, or maybe, just maybe, it was just a bad day at work and you're barely holding it all together. Sis, listen, all of that is valid. You're human. But just know, those emotions don't stay bottled up. No, instead, they drip like a leaky faucet and sometimes they flood. And our kids? Well, they feel it, even if they can't name that tomb.
Speaker 2:And listen, if you're a solo mama of a teen and you're thinking, well, damage is done. Hear me out, listen, it is never too late. Teens may not always say it Well, they're not going to say what you want to hear, but they are still watching, they're still learning and they're still waiting for something solid to model Snap. And one of the most powerful things that you can show them right now is how to own your stuff. Am I right? So don't be afraid to look your teen in the eye and say I'm sorry, I didn't get that right. I'm learning too. You see that right there is keeping it real. That is a healing moment, that is a new mirror, because when you make it normal yes, normal to apologize, you teach your child how to be human with some grace. That's a mirror habit worth reflecting. So how to heal and deal with the difficulties. Journal, pray, shift Journal is in there, so I hope you have yours handy.
Speaker 2:So, ladies, I want to invite you to take a moment for yourself, just five quiet minutes, maybe after the kids are in bed, before the chaos of your day begins, or even during a quick break when you can catch your breath. Okay, and again you're going to want to grab your journal and have a pen in hand, or even just a piece of paper. And let's get real. It is time to get real with yourself. So I'm going to guide you through four powerful questions to help you reflect on what's triggering you and your child and what it might be revealing about you. Okay, so listen before we go on.
Speaker 2:Feel free to pause the podcast after each question, because sometimes I know I can get rambling on and you lose track. So if you have time to jot your thoughts down, no rush, listen. There's no rush to this. This is your time. So are you ready? Okay?
Speaker 2:So I want you to write down the first question, number one, okay, and it is this what is one behavior in my child that triggers me and what might that be revealing about me? Pause here to journal Now. Feel free to come back as soon as you're done. And when you're back, let's then dive into a little deeper one with three more questions. Okay, here's another one. Where did I learn this behavior or feeling? Was it from your own parent, teacher, a past relationship? You see, because sometimes I have found that the roots, they go way back and knowing where it came from. Well, that can help you understand it better. Feel free to pause here to journal. Okay, here's another one. How did or does this make you feel? Does it make you anxious, angry, sad or maybe even a little numb? You see, when we recognize those feelings, we spot it, got it. We don't push them away. They have something to teach you. Okay, pause, and then I'll be right here. And then the next one is that a pattern I want you to continue for me and my children.
Speaker 2:Ladies, this is your chance to choose differently. Healing means breaking cycles and creating new, healthier ways to respond. Okay, sorry, I have one more question I forgot. Okay, so the last question I have for you is can I extend myself some grace right now? Because, ladies, you're doing your best, you're growing and sometimes the most important step is just to be gentle with yourself in the process. So, remember, this isn't about perfection or judgment. This is about honesty, and honesty with yourself, and healing will start from there. And here's a little secret the more you are willing to look inward with kindness and courage, honestly, the more space you will create for your child to heal alongside you. You see, you're not just changing their world, you're changing yours too.
Speaker 2:So, before we go, I want to have a little reflection and prayer. Now that you've taken this time to be honest and real with yourself, let's pause and invite some peace and strength to fill your heart. Bow your heads and, if you're driving, well, just Keep looking at the road, but listen to me clearly. Father God, I want to thank you for this moment of quiet and truth over my ladies and listeners. Thank you for revealing what's hidden beneath their service, both in them and in their children. Help them to accept themselves with grace, even in the messy parts. Give them patience when they're triggered, courage when they need to respond with love instead of reaction and wisdom to break old patterns. May their healing become a path for their child's or children's healing. Teach them to be present, to listen deeply and to love fully, even when it's hard. Lord, I know that they will trust you with the journey, knowing that they don't have to do it alone. In your name, we pray Amen. So, as I recap and close here, today we took a deep breath, an honest look in the mirror, and we saw how our kids well, they reflect parts of us, how being truly present is better than perfection and why our reactions matter more than we realize.
Speaker 2:We've uncovered those triggers and emotions that spill over and started even thinking about how to heal ourselves so we can heal our kids. Now, ladies, don't forget, take these journal questions one at a time. Pause this episode when you need and be gentle with yourself as you reflect, and if you're feeling like you need a little extra support, listen. Remember you're never alone and reach out to our prayer line at 855-822-PRAY.
Speaker 2:We have a team of ladies and mentors ready to lift you up, listen and pray with you through those tough moments, because listen, my sister's healing and strength well, it comes in community and we've got your back. So come back next week for part two, called Looking Through their Eyes, listening Beyond Words, how to Hear what your child isn't saying. Have a wonderful week and remember it's a single mom thing and not the single thing that stops you.
Speaker 1:Thanks for listening to. It's a Single Mom Thing. I hope you enjoyed our time together. If you have more questions on how to have a relationship with Jesus or need prayer, visit us at wwwshepherdsvillagecom. Backslash prayer. For more information and resources, check out our show notes.
