It's A Single Mom Thing

Soul Food, Not Burnout: How Single Moms Can Serve Without Running Dry

• Shepherd's Village • Season 5 • Episode 16

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Feeling drained, overbooked, and wondering where your joy went? In this episode of It’s a Single Mom Thing, we’re flipping the script on service. We’ll talk about why serving others isn’t just good for the world—it’s good for your heart, health, and healing too. You’ll laugh, reflect, and maybe even recognize yourself in one of our Buffet of Burnout mom profiles (Busy Body Brenda, anyone?).

You’ll learn:

  • Why science + scripture agree: service actually fills you
  • How to clear your emotional plate and serve from overflow
  • Why comparison is stealing your purpose
  • What faithful service looks like—without burning out

Plus, hear a powerful Scripture reading from a high school student who visited Shepherd’s Village with a message just for YOU.

📝 Want to go deeper? Grab your Thrive in ’25 Journal, join our It’s a Single Mom Thing Facebook group, and visit shepherdsvillage.com/classes to attend our next in-person session.

📞 Need prayer? Call our 24-hour prayer line at 855-822-PRAY.

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It's a Single Mom Thing, Not the Single Thing That Stops You!

Speaker 1:

Welcome to it's a Single Mom Thing, the show for single moms by single moms. This is Sherri, your host, and I am happy you are here today. Remember it's a single mom thing and not the single thing that stops you.

Speaker 2:

So, hey, mamas, welcome back to it's a Single Mom Thing, where fierce faith meets real life. Now I know you've got a lot on your plate, probably even more than what's in your refrigerator, but today we're not talking about what you're serving for dinner, oh no, we are talking about who you're serving from your spirit and why. It matters more than you think this episode. It is a big one because we're tackling something that's just as important as the food you eat or the sleep you don't get enough of Serving others, oh yes, and since I'm not just talking about draining yourself from a place of overflow not obligation can literally change your body, boost your mental health and even fill your soul. Now, who doesn't want some of that?

Speaker 2:

So here's what the research says. Listen to this, check this out. It says serving and giving to others releases a feel good chemical like oxytocin, boosts connection, reduces stress, lowers blood pressure and even helps you live longer. Oh yes, even one Cleveland study said when it said it loud volunteering helps decrease anxiety, increases life satisfaction and supports memory and longevity. So if you're thinking I don't have time to serve, let me reframe that for you you don't have time not to Serving from overflow. Now, that is an extra, it's essential, it's soul food and it is also spiritual fuel. And yes, we had so much fun teaching this class that we turned burnout into a buffet and gave fictional mom characters like guilt, trip and gina and burnout be the stage and lopped our way through some powerful truth bombs. So today, whether you're folding clothes, running errands or hiding in the pantry with a granola bar and get ready to reset what's on your plate and reclaim what you're here to pour out, let's serve with purpose, let's supercharge our spirit and, most importantly, let's go what's really on your plate? Let's talk plates, because yours it's not just holding dinner I bet you didn't know this. It's holding expectations, emotionsilts, responsibilities, that never ending to-do list and maybe a crusty juice box from last week. I know I see you no judgment when we talk about serving others. Okay, this is what we're talking about. We've got to start with what's already on your plate.

Speaker 2:

You can't serve with peace if you're living off of scraps. You see, too often we're spooning on more and more and more, thinking that it's a holy hustle. I am so guilty of that. But listen, mamas, when God says to serve well, he didn't say to self-destruct. He didn't say serve others and forget yourself. No, on the contrary, he's a God of order, not chaos, and let's be honest, some of us are living in full-blown cafeteria chaos. I'm talking the kind of chaos that is one scoop of mashed potatoes away from a full-blown food fight.

Speaker 2:

So, listen, you need to grab your Thriving 25 journal and ask yourself this okay, get it out and write this on the page what's on my plate right now that's not feeding me? What am I saying yes to? That's draining me before I even get out the door. So let me slow down a second, because we really need to digest this thought before we move forward. Okay, think about this.

Speaker 2:

Just like you need protein, carbs and greens on your actual plate, your spiritual plate needs fuel too. That might look like prayer, a five-minute reset or pouring into someone who actually pours back. Now there's a concept. It's about putting the nourishing stuff back on your plate and scraping off the spiritual junk food. You're not supposed to be the main course on everyone else's plate, okay? Especially if you haven't even fed yourself yet. So let's get honest here. What are you consuming? That's consuming you the guilt, the shoulds, the noise. This is where we start clearing our plate to make room for peace, purpose and some soul-filling service.

Speaker 2:

Now may I welcome you to the buffet of burnout. Now that you've taken a hard look at what's on your plate, let me welcome you to the buffet of burnout. It's got everything guilt, overcommitment, mental exhaustion and a side of co-parenting chaos, with cold fries and no ketchup. Does that sound familiar? You see, when I taught this live in class, I introduced my fabulous fictional friends. These are mama personas who represent the real emotional states we walk through Now. You may laugh, but you definitely will relate. So may I introduce you to my ladies of the burnout buffet.

Speaker 2:

First off, I want to introduce my gal, busy buddy, brenda. Let me talk to you about Brenda. She is overscheduled, over caffeinated and under rested. She volunteers for everything, but can't remember the last time she read a book that wasn't for homework. Help. She read a book that wasn't for homework. Help.

Speaker 2:

Serving strategy for Brenda. Brenda doesn't need a new project. No, no, no. This girl. Well, she needs a nap and a no. Teaching her that margin isn't laziness. On the contrary, it is leadership. And then there is martyr Mindy. Well, she believes she isn't sacrificing, she isn't just doing it right. She is convinced being miserable makes her a better mom. Well, here's a serving strategy for her. So my girl Mindy she needs to trade martyrdom for modeling healthy boundaries. Service doesn't mean self-erasure. Then there is guilt-tripping, gina. She can't say no without a five-minute apology speech. Probably know somebody like that. Instead, she signs up, shows up and shuts down emotionally. So a proposed serving strategy for her would look like I don't know. Gina needs to know that no is a holy word. You can serve well when you don't serve everything. And then, of course, well, this is going to tie into overload.

Speaker 2:

Olivia, this girl. She works full time, raises three kids and still thinks she should be doing more. She's running on fumes and the fumes are fried. So a serving strategy for Olivia goes like this she needs to hear what you're doing is enough and you are enough. My girl Olivia.

Speaker 2:

And next there's our girl negative, nancy. You know her. She's mad at the world and carrying a chip on both her shoulders, but underneath that hurt is a world of exhaustion and disappointment. So a serving strategy for Nancy needs compassion, not conflict. So pour the girl some encouragement in her cup, but protect your own peace. And then let me introduce my girl burnt out B. She's emotionally fried from teen drama, no sleep and no support. Every day feels like a fire drill with no exit plan. Serving strategy B needs permission to rest before the breakdown, not after. And then finally we're going to close with jobless Jenny. Recently unemployed and doubting her worth, she feels disqualified from serving because she's not in a good place. A good serving strategy for Jenny is that she needs reminders that purpose isn't tied to a paycheck. She still has something powerful to give.

Speaker 2:

Now here's the real deal. You might recognize one of these moms, or you might even recognize yourself. I know I did Some days. I was Brenda and Bea in the same hour. But here's the shift. What if we stopped serving from scraps and started serving from strategy? What if we paused to ask well, what fills my cup and who am I called to pour into today? Not because I should, but because I can.

Speaker 2:

So here's a little truth bomb I'm going to drop on you. You see, burnout doesn't make you holy, it makes you hidden. And you weren't created to disappear in your service. You were created to shine. You glow, girl. So why? Serving from overflow fills you and it fills your body, mind and your soul. Let's set the record straight. You see, serving others well, it isn't supposed to break you, it's meant to build you, but only when you serve from the right source, and that's overflow, not obligation. And just in case you think this is just some kind of spiritual fluff, well, let me hit you with some truth that's backed both by scripture and some science. Because, girl, you see, god wired your body to light up. When you pour out with some purpose, can you say glow up. Now the science.

Speaker 2:

Okay, this is where we're going to go first, and I'm going to start with the National Institutes of Health, which found out that acts of service and generosity trigger the brain's pleasure centers and boost oxytocin, a chemical that increases trust, reduces stress and promotes heart health. And then there's the Cleveland Clinic, which revealed that volunteering can actually get this. Check this, lower anxiety, reduce depression, increase memory retention and even prolong your life. Let that sink in, so serving others well, actually, it can help you live well and longer. So to me, I think that not only are you blessing someone else, but then it blesses you in return. So add that multivitamin to your mix.

Speaker 2:

Now, scripturally, in 1 Peter 4.10, it says each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others as faithful stewards of God's grace. And then, in Acts 20, 35, it says it's more blessed to give than receive. Now I wonder if that's where random acts of kindness came from. So here is some real talk. You see, you were created with a gift girl, not to keep it tucked under guilt or fear, but to give it away. And every time you do every kind word, meal, shared, prayer, lifted, ride given, toy donated God's power runs through you. It's like plugging into the source and lighting someone else's darkness without dimming your own.

Speaker 2:

Now, that's a dimmer switch, in my opinion, but here's the key you can't give from empty. You've got to feed your soul first because, listen, service from overflow is strength. Service from depletion, however, is a setup for burnout. So maybe you can power up with this thought Serving from overflow well, it's worship, but serving from emptiness, well. That, my girl, is a warning. Everyone gets a different plate. Stop comparing servings.

Speaker 2:

So let's go ahead and release this myth right now. You don't have to serve like her. To be successful, you don't have to be the PTA president, the small group leader or the one that always says yes, friend, to live out your calling. Here's what you want to know, mama. You see, god gave you a plate designed for your portion, not hers, not your sister's and not Instagram's. Roman 12, 6 says this we have different gifts according to the grace given to each of us.

Speaker 2:

So, said differently, like Sherry would say, is that some of y'all have china platter big, bold, beautiful and built to carry a lot. And well, some of you, you got a cute little dessert plate and it's enough. It's your dessert plate and when you use it with intention and love, it's all holy. You see, faithful serving. It isn't flashy. Just because your service doesn't make headlines doesn't mean it doesn't make heaven stand up Washing dishes. It counts. Praying over your kids in the car counts Texting a mom, friend, encouragement, a major kingdom impact and, well, major girlfriend glow up. So if you've been looking over your shoulder at someone else's portion and guilty, stop Eyes forward, plate up. God's got something made just for you, girl. So listen, you don't need a silver platter to serve with purpose, just a faith filled plate. And when you fill that plate with God's word, your identity, your peace and your passion, you'll serve from a plate and a place that nourishes you and all those around you.

Speaker 2:

So as I close, I have to ask ask sis, what's on your plate, not just your dinner plate, but your daily life plate. And are you serving from a place of overflow or are you just scraping from the bottom of the cast iron skillet? Maybe today's episode hit a little too close to home. Maybe you saw yourself in busy body, brenda, or guilt tripping Gina. Maybe you realized you've been showing up empty and wondering why you're still so tired. Let this be your reminder you are not selfish for refilling your soul. You are strategic when you serve from strength, not stress. You show your kids what it means to live on purpose. You light up the kingdom. You model grace, grit and overflow.

Speaker 2:

So you want to go deeper? Here's how Well one you can join our private Facebook community. Come hang out with other single moms like you inside our it's a Single Mom Thing Facebook group. Share your journey, your prayer requests and even your wins. This week even post a picture of what's on your plate literally or figuratively, I don't know. You just do it and use the hashtag FullPlateFaith.

Speaker 2:

Number two come to a class. Listen. If you live in the Tampa Bay area, you need to join me and my friends, for it's a Single Mom Thing class and support group at Starkey Road Baptist Church. We meet the second and fourth Tuesday of every month from 6 to 730. There's a free meal and free child care, real life tools and definitely some sisterhood. And let me tell you, we do fill up fast, so register right away. More info can be found at Shepherdsvillagecom. Forward slash classes.

Speaker 2:

Number three you thought I forgot the journal, but no, I did not. So I am asking you to use your Thriving 25 journal to write down one thing to take off your plate, one thing that fills your cup and one way you'll serve someone else this week from a place of peace and not pressure. Number four need prayer. Well, you don't have to walk this alone. Call our 24-hour prayer line at 855-822-PRAY. Someone is always there to lift you up. And number four and hey, don't forget to subscribe. Listen. If today encouraged you, like it did me, make sure you subscribe on Apple Podcasts, spotify or iHeartRadio so you never miss an episode. And if this fills up your cup, you know what I'm going to ask you to do. I'm going to ask you to leave a review and share it with another mama who needs this reminder too. So with that, I want to wish you a wonderful week and I want you to come back next week. Remember it's a single mom thing and not the single thing that stops you.

Speaker 1:

Thanks for listening to. It's a Single Mom Thing. I hope you enjoyed our time together. If you have more questions on how to have a relationship with Jesus or need prayer, visit us at wwwshepherdsvillagecom. Backslash prayer. For more information and resources, check out our show notes.

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Sherry Chandler

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