It's A Single Mom Thing

More Than a Mess: Decluttering for Single Moms Who Need Peace, Not Just a Pick-Up

Shepherd's Village Season 5 Episode 12

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Is your space screaming while your spirit is suffocating under piles of laundry, unread emails, and mental chaos? Girl, this episode isn’t just about picking up—it's about reclaiming your peace. 🎯

In this heart-hitting and hope-filled episode, we’re getting real about the mess behind the mess. Whether it’s clutter in your kitchen, car, calendar, or conversations, this is your invitation to clear space—physically, emotionally, and spiritually—and finally breathe again.

You’ll learn:
✨ How to spot the not-so-obvious clutter stealing your sanity
 ✨ Why clutter isn’t just stuff—it’s stories, stress, and sometimes… silence
 ✨ Practical ways to build rhythms that keep chaos from creeping back
 ✨ How your mess may be modeling something for your kids
 ✨ And how a little porch time and a lot of peace can change everything

Plus, stay tuned until the end for a bonus scriptural mic drop from one of our amazing IRCS High School students who visited Shepherd’s Village to pour some truth and love into YOU. 💗

Let’s declutter your chaos—and make room for the calm God has been waiting to bring into your life.

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It's a Single Mom Thing, Not the Single Thing That Stops You!

Speaker 1:

Welcome to it's a Single Mom Thing, the show for single moms by single moms. This is Sherri, your host, and I am happy you are here today. Remember it's a single mom thing and not the single thing that stops you.

Speaker 2:

Ever walk into a room and forget while you're there, only to trip over a laundry basket and realize, oh yeah, I was headed for a nervous breakdown. Yeah, I've been there. If your home looks like a before photo on a cleaning show and your mind feels just as messy, well, this episode is for you, because here's the truth Clutter isn't just what's on your countertops, it's what's crowding your thoughts, draining your energy and stealing your peace. And as single moms, well, we carry a lot, too much sometimes, and the last thing we need is the chaos in our space, making us feel like chaos inside. And here's what you don't know, I'm guessing.

Speaker 2:

According to Princeton Neuroscience Institute, physical clutter competes for your brain's attention, reduces focus, increases stress and can even trigger procrastination. Yeah, that overflowing closet. It's not just annoying, it's actually rewiring your brain for anxiety and fatigue. Now, I don't know about you, but I have that one closet that I haven't gotten to that gives me a panic attack every time I open it. You know the one that you either can't shut once you open it, or you open it and you have to duck and cover for fear what might fall out. Yeah, that one. So if you've ever said, well, it's just stuff. It's no big deal. Today you are going to learn why it actually is a big deal. But here's the good news you can take back your space and your sanity with small changes that create big shifts, changes that create big shifts. We're talking how to simplify your space, how to detox your mind and how to invite God into both your home and heart so you can breathe again.

Speaker 2:

This isn't about perfection. It's about simply peace, and peace doesn't start when your laundry is folded. It starts when you make room for what matters and let go of what doesn't. So grab your thriving 25 journal, pull your hair into a messy bun and let's declutter our chaos together. One drawer, one thought and one prayer at a time. Clutter isn't just on the floor, it's in your life. So let's go beyond the laundry, okay? Because clutter. It doesn't stop at your overflowing hamper or the half-eaten chicken nuggets on your couch. It's sneaky. It hides in your routines, your thoughts, your finances, and it's robbing your peace. So let's call it what it is Chaos disguised, as I'll get to it later or control disguised as peace.

Speaker 2:

What does your kitchen countertop look like right now? If I had to go to your house, what would I see? Is the cereal still out from this morning? Is last night's dinner stuck to the plate like it's auditioning for a construction job? What about your bedroom? Is it a rest zone or a laundry avalanche? Do you have to high step it through piles just to hit the pillow? How about your car? Does it smell like Chick-fil-A nuggets and some defeat?

Speaker 2:

Is your digital life cluttered too? Texts you're dodging, emails you've ignored, I don't know. Does your email inbox look like two unread messages or 2,781? What about that text you haven't responded to, or the one you shouldn't respond to anymore? Is your bank account a cluttered trail of treat-yourself stress purchases and overdraft fees? What about your relationships? Are there any messy emotional corners you have just closed the door on? But on the flip side, maybe, your house is spotless. Everything has a place, the towels are folded into thirds, the throw pillows are fluffed and not a single dish dares to live in your sink. But let me ask you this Is your space perfectly tidy because you never let anyone in? Is your house a showroom? Because it's the one area you can control.

Speaker 2:

So here's a little sassy truth bomb I want to drop on you. You could be drowning in clutter or drowning in control. Either way, baby, you can't breathe. So we need to do a little faith check here for a moment. And we're going to find that in Proverbs 4.23. And it says, above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

Speaker 2:

So how about we reframe the word clutter? Because I don't like that word. I don't know about you. Clutter, well, it's anything that crowds your space and your spirit, my sister. It's anything that steals your peace and hides your purpose under a pile of noise. It doesn't just live on your floor, it lives in your mindset, your money or even your margins. So this is more about cleaning If you haven't noticed this episode.

Speaker 2:

It's about clearing the way for clarity, peace and purpose to rise back up in your life. Would you like some of that? So here are some real reflection questions that I want you to start asking yourself. What space in your life feels chaotic, not just messy? What are you trying to control so tightly because everything else feels out of control? And have you confused yourself or convinced yourself that this is just how life is right? Now you see, whether it's clutter you can see or clutter you've buried deep. It's taking up space that God wants to fill with peace. So let's start making some room. Start small, think big. So let's be honest, ladies, rome wasn't cleaned in a day, and neither is your life, your house or even your headspace.

Speaker 2:

But the biggest transformations, yeah, those don't start with a full sweep. They start with a single step. Start with, let's say, for example, one drawer, one surface, one mindset, because when you start small, well, you're more likely to finish. You build momentum, then motivate, you train your brain to recognize progress over perfection. You see small steps, well, they equal big shifts. You start to clear your kitchen counter. Now you've made space to nourish yourself again. You see, when you clean out your purse, hello, peace of mind, and that missing debit card that you couldn't find. You see, when you unsubscribe from 30 emails that you never read, that's 30 less digital distractions stealing your time. Or how about archiving that text thread from someone who drains your joy, girl? That's some mad freedom right there. And if it's not a drawer, maybe it's a decision.

Speaker 2:

Maybe it looks like unsubscribing from a person who has been living rent-free in your head, or deleting the photos that take you back to places you no longer live, physically or emotionally, or even creating margin by doing nothing at all, because, listen, sometimes self-care isn't a task, it's a time out. You see, this isn't about spring cleaning, it's about soul clearing. And for my overwhelmed queens, listen, if this feels like too much and you're ready to shut off the show, then maybe your small step today, and today only, is a sacred pause. You don't have to do anything to be worthy of some breathing room. Build in margin, not because you've earned it, because, listen, girl, you need it. You see, pause, it is a productive word when it makes space for peace. And so here's a little personal reflection from my own life.

Speaker 2:

Just recently, when I discovered flow over force you see, I've been renting this headspace just this week, you see, everything in my life it felt loud, chaotic, cluttered and completely overwhelming. Every space I looked at screamed for attention and I didn't have any more to give. I didn't have any more to give. Maybe you can relate. For me, I realized I needed to shift from force to flow. Instead of pushing through, I gave myself simply a timeout, and for me that meant one thing the front porch, it's my entry point, both literally and mentally. It sets the tone for how I show up in my day. And when I finally sat still long enough to notice I saw my garden had become a metaphor for my life. Maybe you have seen this in your own Weeds growing, wild, dead plants hanging on from a season that had already passed Messy, frustrating, invisible to anyone passing by. So I got my hands dirty, not with just a big plan, just a moment of motion. I cleared the weeds, pulled what no longer belonged and slowly the chaos it started to shrink. Then I did one more thing. I added some color. I went to the store and picked up a few vibrant, affordable plants, just those small pops of life. They shifted my whole point of view. You see, sometimes the biggest transformation doesn't start inside, it starts right outside your front door. And once I cleared that space, listen, something happened. I've realized I could move on to another unattended garden in my life. That needed some TLC too.

Speaker 2:

Clear space equals a clear mind. Have you ever walked into a messy room and instantly felt intense, scattered or even snappy? That's not just a mood, it's a science. Clutter isn't neutral, it's noisy. Now studies have shown that physical clutter increases cortisol levels that's your stress hormone and it makes it harder for your brain to focus, process or even rest. And let's be honest, single moms already have enough tabs open in their minds, am I right? We don't need extra chaos coming from the corner of the counter too.

Speaker 2:

Here's something else. Clutter isn't just stuff, it is stories. That pile of mail on the end of your countertop yeah, that might be bills that you are avoiding. Or that overstuffed closet it might be full of clothes from your version of you that doesn't fit you anymore, physically or emotionally. And that junk drawer, also known as the catch-all drawer yeah, it might be the one thing you feel like you can hide when everything else feels exposed. You see, when your environment is chaotic, your thoughts well, they follow suit. But when you create clear space, ooh girl, your soul can finally exhale. And I'm not done here.

Speaker 2:

Let's talk about that car. Ever try starting the day with a cluttered car? Fast food bags on the floor, last week's school's papers on the seats, shoes under the dash and forgotten coffee cups in every single cup holder. It might not seem like a big deal, but you're right, oh girl, it can either rev you up or run you down. That mess sets the tone before the day even starts and it travels with you Kids soaking in your stress, everyone feeling the frenzy, and mama already maxed out before she hits the first red light. You see, your car isn't just transportation, it's a mobile mood setter. Have you ever thought about it that way? And it's not just what's around you, it's also what's left unsaid.

Speaker 2:

Sometimes clutter shows up in the silence the unspoken apologies, the emotional buildup from the things we haven't processed, the tension between you and your child's father that fills every exchange with friction. Leaving things unsaid is a form of clutter too, and it takes up space in your spirit until there's no room for peace to land like an airplane. You see, you're not just cleaning for today, you are leading for tomorrow, and that's what I want you to think about as we look ahead. Every time you leave something undone, it's more than just a mess, it can become a model. Remember, you got your kiddos with you right. So what your kids see you tolerate, they begin to replicate. Chaos then becomes normal, clutter becomes comfortable, avoidance becomes automatic. But when they see you making space mentally, emotionally and spiritually, they learn that peace is possible and it certainly is worth protecting, is possible and it certainly is worth protecting.

Speaker 2:

Ladies. Your kids are learning what to carry and what to clear based on how you move through your mess. Create a new rhythm that keeps the chaos out. So listen, all hope is not lost here. You don't need a Pinterest perfect system, color-coded bins or a professional organizer to find your peace. You just need a rhythm that works for your life. It is your drum. You are going to dance to the beat of your own Because, let's be real, you can Marie Kondo your closet in one weekend, but if you don't set a rhythm for what comes in and what gets dealt with, girl listen, you will be back at square one before the month is out. So we are gonna go for rhythm over routine, and this is what I mean.

Speaker 2:

Forget the rigid routines. As a single mom, flexibility is your superpower. Instead, build rhythms, small, repeated actions that work with your real schedule, not against it. Here's an example Sunday 15, 15 minute reset. Every Sunday night. Fold what's left, prep your bag and clear the junk drawer. 15 minutes, that's it, not 16. Two-minute toss. If it takes under two minutes to deal with it, put it away, wipe it down, delete the email and do it now, and a digital detox day. Pick one day a week to clear your inbox, delete screenshots and cancel subscriptions you're not using but you are paying for somehow. And then also monthly margin check Once a month, ask what's taking up time, space or energy that I didn't invite in. And if you need to put that on a post-it note or make a reminder or set an alarm on your phone, girl, you need to do that once a month.

Speaker 2:

Do not overlook that step, you see, because peace doesn't come from perfection, it comes from intention. Show up with a little regularly, and then it adds up to a lot. And let's not forget boundaries. Boundaries are the gatekeepers to your peace. You see, a new rhythm means some things and some people won't make the cut, and that's not petty, it is protective. Set time limits on scrolling. Say no to the 14th request to volunteer if it costs you your sanity.

Speaker 2:

Stop letting clutter, physical or emotional. Move in without paying rent. You see, you can't keep peace in your home if you keep saying yes to everything that steals it and make it visual. Listen, you don't need another calendar, you need some clarity. So how about you try this? Post a sticky note on the fridge. I'm sure you got many, but let's make this one the central focus here and put on it one thing today that brings peace, that's it Every time you open that fridge door. One thing that brings me peace. That is what you should be looking at, that's your intention, that's your boundary. That starts to set your rhythm.

Speaker 2:

Then, next, I want you to write your weekly rhythm on a chalkboard or a dry erase calendar for the kids to see and let them help. Something else you could do you could create what I would call a drop zone. It's a basket by the door so chaos doesn't pile up on the kitchen table. Listen, ladies, when peace is visible, it becomes possible. You're not just creating calm, you are creating a culture. Here, mama, your rhythm, it becomes your legacy. You're not just cleaning a space, you're shaping the environment your kids will grow in and one day recreate. What you clear today creates the culture your kids carry tomorrow. So, in closing, this isn't just about clean counters, it's about a clear you, ladies. This isn't just about getting your space spotless, it's about getting your spirit still, and I hope you're already starting to feel that.

Speaker 2:

When your home breathes, you breathe. When your car is calm, your thoughts well. They drive just a little straighter when your inbox, emotions and schedule have room to stretch. You show up present, not panicked. You're not being selfish, listen, you're being wise and you're not being picky. You're being intentional. You're not wasting time. Think of it rather, as you are investing it and there's a payoff. The payoff is that you'll stop feeling like you're constantly behind. You'll find more time for peace, more energy for things that matter. You'll model a lifestyle of clarity and care that your kids can carry into their future homes and hearts. Peace, yeah, it doesn't start in your prayer closet if your pantry's making you panic Sometimes.

Speaker 2:

Clearing clutter is the most spiritual thing you can do. So here's a little homework call to action I have for you here at the end of the podcast. So here is some soul work. So you need to grab your Thriving 25 journal now and ask yourself what's one physical space that stresses you out every day? Start there and clean it, declutter it and reclaim it. Two, what's one mental or emotional space that needs some margin? Do you need to unsubscribe, delete or forgive? And three, what rhythm can you create to keep that piece going? Remember, little steps, big shift. And if you're up for a little extra credit, I have a bonus challenge for you Clean your entry point, your porch, your doorway, your car or even your closet. Snap a pic before and then after. Then share your win on our private.

Speaker 2:

It's a Single Mom Thing Facebook group with the hashtag clear space, clear mind, and let's cheer each other on so as we connect and go deeper. I want to encourage you to join the Facebook community. You're not meant to do this alone, so post your progress, your prayers and your porch plants pics with us. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, spotify or iHeart Radio so you don't miss the next step in your Thrive in 25 journey. Want more tools and truth? Visit shepherdsvillagecom. Forward slash classes for free resources, upcoming classes and your road to single mom success Need prayer. Our 24-7 prayer line is always open at 855-822-PRAY. And, mamas, before you go, I've got a bonus for you. Stay tuned for a scriptural mic drop from one of the incredible IRCS high school students who served at Shepherd's Village a couple weeks ago.

Speaker 2:

This student recorded a powerful word of encouragement just for you, because every mom needs a reminder that she's not alone in the mess or the mission so, on the heels of that reminder, this week I want you to do one thing your soul is craving most Making space.

Speaker 1:

Because you don't just need less stuff, you need more room for joy. Have a wonderful week and remember it's a single mom thing and not the single thing that stops you. Thanks for listening to. It's a Single Mom Thing. I hope you enjoyed our time together. If you have more questions on how to have a relationship with Jesus or need prayer, visit us at wwwshepherdsvillagecom. Backslash prayer. For more information and resources, check out our show notes.

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