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It's A Single Mom Thing
Welcome to “It's A Single Mom Thing,” the show for single moms by single moms, hosted by Sherry Chandler.
Being a solo momma and present parent is hard work, and losing focus is easy when you forget your faith. The good news is you are not alone. You were singled out this season, and together, we can work on what’s not working for you—finding Christ in the crisis! Whether you’re tuning in early in the morning or late at night, I’m here for you, momma.
This podcast is your go-to space for navigating life as a single mom with faith, fun, and a fresh perspective. We'll cover everything from mastering a single-mom success mindset and budgeting like a boss to prioritizing self-care and raising resilient kids. We’ll share time management hacks, parenting perspectives, co-parenting challenges, and how to find joy and laugh again. Together, we’ll move from surviving to thriving in every season of single motherhood.
Be encouraged. Get inspired. You can do this, momma.
Each Monday, join me for practical advice, relatable stories, and uplifting conversations as we walk this journey from solo momma to solo momma. I promise not to take too much of your time, and I’m so grateful you’re spending it with me.
It may be a single mom thing, but it doesn’t have to be the "single thing" that stops you!
It's A Single Mom Thing
Dating for Dollars: Why A Man Is Not A Single Mom's Financial Plan
Sis, if your budget is waiting on 'Mista Deep Pockets' to show up, we’ve got some serious rethinking to do! Money stress is real, but let’s be clear—your financial future isn’t tied to a man, it’s anchored in faith. This episode is all about flipping the script and securing your OWN bag with wisdom, confidence, and God’s provision."
💰 We’re talking:
✅ Why faith is your firm financial foundation (Matthew 7:24-25)
✅ Scarcity vs. stewardship—How shifting your mindset changes everything
✅ Kingdom economics—Obedience leads to abundance
✅ The real cost of relying on a man for financial stability (spoiler: it’s way too expensive)
💡 Where attention goes, spirit flows. If you’re ready to take control of your finances (without waiting on Prince Charming), this episode is for you!
👉 Want to dive deeper?
📍 Join the “It’s A Single Mom Thing” Class on Tuesday, Feb 11—a space for faith, finances, and single mom success! Visit shepherdsvillage.com/classes.
🙏 Need Prayer? Call our 24-hour prayer line at 855-822-PRAY.
🎾 Raise & Rally Pickleball Tournament is BACK! Sign up now and let’s dink, drop, and dominate together! Register at shepherdsvillage.com/pickleball.
🎧 Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or iHeart Radio & share this with a fellow mom who needs to hear it!
It's a Single Mom Thing, Not the Single Thing That Stops You!
Welcome to it's a Single Mom Thing, the show for single moms by single moms. This is Sherri, your host, and I am happy you are here today. Remember it's a single mom thing and not the single thing that stops you. All right, ladies, let's talk some real talk today. Now, if your budget had a relationship status, if your budget had a relationship status, would it say? Thriving and independent? Or praying for a man with a 401k? Listen, we've all had those late night thoughts oh, life would just be so much easier if I just had a man to help with these bills. But today we're flipping that script and calling out the lie that your financial freedom depends on finding Mr Deep Pockets or Mr Sugar Daddy to pay your way. Because, let's be clear, this isn't about selling yourself, it's about not selling yourself short. You see, if you've ever been tempted to believe that financial stability comes in the form of a man, girl, I have got some truth and tough love for you today, coming from my own experience, of course, because, listen, the real provider. He doesn't drive a Tesla, he walks on water. So grab your journal, get your coffee and let's get into why a man is not your financial plan and how you can start securing your own financial bag with faith, wisdom and fierce independence.
Speaker 1:Welcome back to another episode of it's a Single Mom Thing the real cost of relying on a man for financial stability. Mama, let's have a moment of truth. What's the price tag on handing over your financial future to a man? Because I hate to break it to you, but if your security is tied to someone else's paycheck, you're walking a financial tightrope with no safety net. And, girl, we are not here to play financial gymnastics. So here's the truth on the receipts that don't lie what it costs you when you don't secure the financial bag yourself. Now I know what you're thinking, but, sherry, listen, having a man to help with the bills doesn't sound like such a bad idea, and you're right. I mean, it's not if you're both coming in, as God's designed married partners and not providers. But let's talk about what happens when you depend on a relationship for, let's say, your rent, your groceries or Lord help you your car. Note Fact check Single moms. Listen, single moms are twice as likely to live in poverty, that's 28%, compared to single fathers. Now here's another fact check the median income median, not medium, income for single mom households is a measly $39,120. A measly $39,120. While married couples, yeah, they are banking and bringing in $125,980. Jeez, translation. If your financial future is riding shotgun in someone else's car, you better hope he doesn't decide to change directions, because where does that leave you and your family?
Speaker 1:And before you say, well, I only date a man who's generous and successful, honey, let me introduce you to two characters we all know so well Mr Sugar Daddy and Mr Deep Pockets. First, let's meet Mr Sugar Daddy. Mr Sugar Daddy well, he's always ready to pick up the bill, spoil you with gifts and make you feel like a queen, until the fine print kicks in and you realize that free money comes with strings, control and expectations. Ain't no such thing as free lunch, mama and sugar daddy? Yeah, he always expects dessert. Let's move on to Mr Deep Pockets. Oh yeah, he's successful, stable and seems like the dream.
Speaker 1:But let's be real. If your financial security is in his name, if your financial security is in his name, he holds the power, and power in the wrong hands. Well, that's a dangerous place for a single mom and her kiddos to be. You see, because deep pockets doesn't always mean deep character. Make sure his pockets aren't the only thing holding value in that relationship, just saying because it comes with a cost. And here's what that is. It's an emotional price tag of financial dependency. You see, money isn't just about numbers, it's about power. And when you let someone else hold the wallet, yeah, girl, they might also start controlling the decisions. Now, I'm not saying all men with money are controlling, but let's be honest, some of y'all have already learned this lesson the hard way, and I am nodding my head in agreement.
Speaker 1:So here's price tag number one you can't make independent choices when someone else is paying the bills. You see, if your financial survival depends on someone staying in your life, you, girl, just might overlook the red flags just to keep the lights on Sis and listen. The cost of a free ride might just be your freedom. Price tag number two breakups. They shouldn't mean evictions If things go south. Do you have enough in your savings to stand on your own two feet? You see, because the only least you should be worried about is the one that's in your name. And number three is the one that's in your name. And number three your kids. Yeah, they are watching.
Speaker 1:So what message are we sending our children about? Who provides for them? Now hear me out. Listen. If we teach our daughters to depend on a man for money, we're setting them up for the same cycle that we are on. And, on the contrary, if we teach our sons that women are to be taken care of, we're setting them up for the wrong expectations too.
Speaker 1:Now, if you're sitting there and you're thinking who peed in Sherry's Cheerios this morning, I want to clarify that all of this is out of love. So hear me out. I am going hard in the paint because I want to clarify that all of this is out of love. So hear me out. I am going hard in the paint because I want to save you another heartache and I want you to be the savior of your savings account. So listen, ladies your financial future, it is way too valuable to put in someone else's hands. It's time to take the driver's seat in your life, your bank account and your future, because the only person who should be providing for you besides God, yeah is you. So now let's talk about how to make that happen, because it is possible.
Speaker 1:Now for my mamas we're going to segue for a second For my mamas who had their babies out of wedlock. You need to lock this point in. You see, if you had kids together, plan together. So now let me hit pause on the dating talk for a second, because this isn't just about romantic relationships. If you had kids out of wedlock, listen up. Whether or not your relationship with your child's father is sunshine and rainbows or a full-blown hurricane. You need a financial plan.
Speaker 1:And here's why. Because, number one, raising a child isn't just emotionally taxing, it's financially demanding. If the two of you don't figure out a plan, one of you is going to be left carrying all the weight. Let me ask you do you have some extra pounds that you're carrying right now? Number two child support expenses, education these need to be discussed. Child support expenses, education these need to be discussed. If you leave these conversations for the courts, you may end up with less than what's needed to raise your child properly.
Speaker 1:And number three avoid the. Yeah, I got this trap, because, listen, I see it all the time. Too many single moms avoid these discussions because they don't want conflict, and I get that. But listen, but avoiding financial conversations, that doesn't make the bills disappear, does it, mama? If you're raising kids together, even apart, you've got to make a plan, because not having one doesn't just leave you struggling, it leaves your kids struggling too. So what's a single mom to do? Well, listen, now it's time to get that journal out, because we're going to flip the script on this.
Speaker 1:Okay, I want you to write down three ways that relying on a man for financial security could hold you back from reaching your full potential. Now, take your time. It's your dime. We're talking about spending here, not his, Because, as I said before, the only person who should be providing for you besides God is you Talking. Point number two, mr Right, comes when things are right with you All right, now that we've gotten the real about what happens when you rely on the wrong provider, let's talk about what happens when you become the provider of your own peace, your own security and your own stability. Because, mama, here's the truth, mr Right. Yeah, he won't fix your life, but when your life is right, ooh, the right partner will fit right in Preaching to the choir here. So let's have something to sing about.
Speaker 1:So why you attract what you are, not just what you want? You see, if you want stability, you have to be stable first. If you want a man of faith, you have to be a woman of faith first, and I've said this before your vibe attracts your tribe, and that, my dear, includes your future husband Redefining provision. God's got your back. So now, in Matthew, chapter six, 31 through 33 in the NIV, we're gonna go all Bible here. So listen. It says so do not worry, saying what shall we eat or what shall we drink, or what shall we wear? For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly father, he knows that you need them, but seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be added to you. You see, god knows what you need and he does provide. So let's flip the script and we're going to say that sassy, sherry way, and that is faith over fear. You see, you don't need to have a man to save, you need God to sustain you.
Speaker 1:Here's something else to focus on Financial wisdom equals relationship wisdom. You see a strong woman. She chooses a partner, not a provider. And when you handle your own business, you'll never have to settle for someone handling you. So got that journal there, keep it handy. So in that journal, I want to get raw and real with yourself, because I'm guessing, like me, you want, mr Real Deal and not a real dud stud. So I want you to write in this journal. I want you to think about what are the areas of your life that you need to strengthen before you're ready for a relationship, and be honest with yourself.
Speaker 1:Talking point number three and this is where we'll close Build your financial foundation on his foundation. So listen, mamas. We've talked about what happens when you rely on the wrong provider and we've talked about how Mr Right comes when things are right with you. Now let's talk about how to make sure your financial future is solid, whether you have a man in your life or not, because, let's be real bills don't care about your relationship status. Where your attention goes, spirit flows.
Speaker 1:Now, before we dive in, let's take a quick pause. If you missed last week's episode titled Budget Like a Queen Single Mom Hacks for Financial Freedom girl, you need to go back and listen. In that episode we hit hard on practical budgeting side hustles, money mindsets and getting your financial house in order. But today we're going to zoom out a bit, because financial stability isn't just about dollars. It's about a foundation and your firm foundation that firms up your bottom line and that starts with your faith. You see, many of times, as a single mom, I felt I lived on the corner of rock and a hard place, but never did I go without my rock, because he always provided for all of my family needs. Now, listen, it may not have been what we wanted, but it was definitely what we needed.
Speaker 1:So, number one I want you to focus on your faith being your firm foundation, meaning, build your house on rock, not sand. And I'm going to go to a Bible verse found in Matthew, chapter seven, verse 24 through 25 in the NIV, that says therefore, everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose and the winds blew and beat against that house, yet it did not fall because it had its foundation on the rock. Build your house, ladies, on the rock, not the sand. Here's something else I want you to focus on Faith is your financial filter, meaning when you trust God as your provider decisions, they just somehow become clearer. A solid budget, it's great, don't get me wrong. But if your financial mindset isn't anchored in faith, your stability is built on shaky ground.
Speaker 1:Number two stewardship over stress, managing what God has given you. You see, you want to shift from scarcity mindset to stewardship, instead of saying things like I don't have enough shift to God. How do you want me to use what I have? You see, everything belongs to him and when we see our resources as God's, we're more intentional with them At least we should be. You see, your money just isn't yours. It's a tool that God gave you to use wisely and listen. When you manage what he's given, he will entrust you with more.
Speaker 1:Number three kingdom economics is greater than world economics. Meaning God's math. Well, it's a little different. The world says that more work equals more money, but, on the contrary, in the kingdom it says obedience. This is his economy. Obedience, it equals abundance, meaning giving multiplies, not subtracts. You see, tithing and generosity, yeah, they open doors. That side hustles alone they cannot. Trusting God with your finances isn't just a feel-good move, girl, it is a total power, like a boss move.
Speaker 1:And so, for our last journal prompt, I want you to spend time in prayer asking God where am I placing my financial trust? Is it in my job, my side hustle, or is it in you, father? How can I realign my financial decisions with my faith and your plans for my life, father? So, as I close, let's do a quick recap and some final thoughts. So, number one going forward, we are going to stop looking to a man for a financial stability plan and we're going to build our own foundation. Number two our faith is going to be the ultimate financial filter, as God is our provider. Number three we are going to steward what God has already given us and we're going to watch him multiply it. And number four, kingdom economics, we are going to remember, is always greater than world economics, for we know, obedience leads to abundance.
Speaker 1:Mama, your financial success, it isn't about what's in your bank account, it's about what's in your heart. Build on your faith, steward it well and trust God's plans for your provision, because when your foundation is solid, everything will fall into place. And let's be clear financial security isn't about finding a man who can afford you. It's about becoming the woman who knows her worth, trusting God's provision and walks in confidence, whether she's got two incomes in the house or just her own, because when you're secure in him, no storm can shake you.
Speaker 1:Do you love this podcast and never want to miss an episode? Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts, spotify or iHeartRadio and share this episode with a fellow mom who needs this reminder that she's got this. If you're ready to dive deeper in these topics with a group of supportive single moms and you live in the Tampa Bay area? I have some exciting opportunities for you. It's a Single Mom Thing Class. Join me Tuesday, february 11th, as we unpack Valentine's day blues finding joy when love looks different. For more information and inspiration, visit shepherdsvillagecom.
Speaker 1:Forward slash classes. Need prayer. If you want to pray about your finances with someone, call our 24 hour prayer line at 855-822-PRAY. And they're back and bringing the heat. A big Pickleball Paddle clap to West Shore Services Florida HVAC for returning as our title sponsor for the Raisin Rally Pickleball Tournament. They know how to keep things cool when it matters. But on March 29th they're turning up the heat on the competition. Are you, girl, ready to serve up some fun for a great cause? Sign up now and let's dink, drop and dominate together. Visit shepherdsvillagecom. Forward slash pickleball to register. Have a wonderful week and remember it's a single mom thing and not the single thing that stops you. Thanks for listening to. It's a Single Mom Thing. I hope you enjoyed our time together. If you have more questions on how to have a relationship with Jesus or need prayer, visit us at wwwshepherdsvillagecom backslash prayer. For more information and resources. Check out our show notes.
