It's A Single Mom Thing
Welcome to “It's A Single Mom Thing,” the show for single moms by single moms, hosted by Sherry Chandler.
Being a solo momma and present parent is hard work, and losing focus is easy when you forget your faith. The good news is you are not alone. You were singled out this season, and together, we can work on what’s not working for you—finding Christ in the crisis! Whether you’re tuning in early in the morning or late at night, I’m here for you, momma.
This podcast is your go-to space for navigating life as a single mom with faith, fun, and a fresh perspective. We'll cover everything from mastering a single-mom success mindset and budgeting like a boss to prioritizing self-care and raising resilient kids. We’ll share time management hacks, parenting perspectives, co-parenting challenges, and how to find joy and laugh again. Together, we’ll move from surviving to thriving in every season of single motherhood.
Be encouraged. Get inspired. You can do this, momma.
Each Monday, join me for practical advice, relatable stories, and uplifting conversations as we walk this journey from solo momma to solo momma. I promise not to take too much of your time, and I’m so grateful you’re spending it with me.
It may be a single mom thing, but it doesn’t have to be the "single thing" that stops you!
It's A Single Mom Thing
Goals Without the Guilt: A Single Mom's Guide to Crushing Resolutions
Tired of making New Year’s resolutions that fade faster than a load of laundry? In this episode of It’s A Single Mom Thing, we’re flipping the script and turning those fleeting resolutions into single mom solutions that actually work. Whether you’re looking to set realistic goals, embrace guilt-free progress, or find practical ways to thrive in 2025, this episode is packed with actionable advice tailored just for you.
Discover:
✅ How to redefine success as a single mom and celebrate small wins.
✅ Why flexible, realistic goals that bend with you are the key to crushing it this year.
✅ A step-by-step journal exercise to turn resolutions into solutions.
✅ Sassy scriptures and affirmations to silence the guilt and keep you inspired.
✅ Tools like the Pause App, LinkedIn Learning, and our exclusive "It’s A Single Mom Thing" Facebook group to keep you motivated all year long.
Join us as we unpack the truth about what it takes to thrive, not just survive, as a single mom. Don’t forget to check the show notes for your personalized Tool Chest filled with resources to make this your best year yet! 💪✨
Tool Chest:
Pause App
LinkedIn Learning
Coursera
Mint
Every Dollar
It's A Single Mom Thing Support Group/Class
It's A Single Mom Thing Facebook Group
It's a Single Mom Thing, Not the Single Thing That Stops You!
Welcome to it's a Single Mom Thing, the show for single moms by single moms. This is Sherri, your host, and I am happy you are here today. Remember it's a single mom thing and not the single thing that stops you. So I want to start this podcast, my single peeps, with a little hand clap for you. We are the most successful, longest running, faith-filled podcast for single moms, now in our fifth season, thanks to you. So listen, don't keep us a secret. You need to share us with a solo sister that you know who needs a little additional support. Now let's get on to our show. Let me ask you something. Now let's get on to our show. Let me ask you something.
Speaker 1:Have you ever started and my guess is yes a resolution like saving more money, getting healthier or even being nicer to yourself, only to throw in the towel a few weeks later, when life as a single mom got overwhelming? Maybe you felt the guilt of not sticking to a goal because everything else in life demanded your attention. Sound familiar? Well, today's episode, then, is for you, girl. We're diving into the deep end of the pool head first, into how to crush your goals without the guilt, turning those New Year's resolutions into real life solutions that actually work for your life. Ladies, you know, as we have talked about this before, if you want something different, you have to do something different. This year, I'm going to keep you on track to your single mom success. So grab your Thriving 25 journal and let's get started Redefining success. Small wins, bigger changes. So, ladies, let's start by first redefining success, putting it into practical terms for your life as a single mama. Now, like I said, get your Thriving 25 Journals out. If you've missed last week's episode, ladies, I would encourage you to start there. Then come back to this episode to catch up. So, in thinking of success, it doesn't have to look like perfection and it certainly doesn't have to mirror anyone else's journey, especially a mama who has a spouse. For a single mom, success might mean having dinner on the table and your kids in bed on time, your kids helping I don't know you clear the dinner table, finding five minutes to sit with a cup of coffee in peace, ten minutes to prepare a grocery list, or get this even 30 minutes to pair that with a weekly meal plan. It's about creating simple systems that simplify your life while finding moments that bring joy, no matter how small. It doesn't take much to make a single mama happy, right? So here's my pro tip for you as you start this journey don't fall into the trap of comparison.
Speaker 1:In my experience, I have found that society often tells us that success is about climbing the career ladder or having a picture-perfect family or figure, or what about reaching financial milestones. But let's get real. For single moms, success is deeply personal, am I right? Let's use my life for example For me. I had to climb off that career ladder as I chose to be a present parent. When I became a single parent, putting my son's priorities, my family and not my career aspirations ahead of us, I simply put those on pause. So for me to be home for my boy well, that meant that I had to look for jobs that afforded me that opportunity, but, if I'm honest, it didn't always pay the highest wage. But time with my son well, that was priceless, no matter the cost.
Speaker 1:So listen, girl, give yourself grace with this. It's about personal progress over perfection and learning to celebrate the little wins that build momentum for bigger, lasting, impactful changes for you and your family. So let's do this. Take a moment and ask yourself what does success look like for me in this season of life. Now, listen, I want you to keep this in the back of your mind and remember that I said in this season of life, not the season of life when you were without child, or even maybe when you had a spouse or a partner. This is a solo season of life that I'm talking about, so maybe it's spending more quality time with the kids or taking steps towards financial stability. Whatever that is, I want you to write it down in your journal and own it. Your definition of success is the only one that matters. Now, once you've redefined your success in your journal, create another page and title it. I don't know. My Success Snapshot. You got it. Okay. Now I want you to write down three things that make you feel successful right now, no matter how small or silly they seem. Maybe it's managing to pay the bills this month, flossing your teeth, taking a shower today, getting your kids to school on time, starting off your day without rushing or even yelling at your kids, or maybe even not doing a drive-thru dinner tonight. These are your wins, and listen, girl, they matter.
Speaker 1:From resolution to single solutions Okay, you've lived on this planet for a while, so you are no stranger to resolutions, but how about single mama solutions? Let's talk about the big reason why New Year's resolutions often fail. That's well, because they're temporary fixes to your fixes. You see, we promise ourselves that we'll eat healthier, save more money or exercise every day, but then life happens and those goals, yeah, they fade away. You see, in that moment, we get so focused on the feeling and the fix it gives us in that moment that we never make them the new standard we decree to live by.
Speaker 1:So listen, what if we stop thinking about our resolutions as short term challenges and maybe instead saw them as long term, single solutions for our lives? Maybe we'd stick to it. Maybe we'd stick to it Like, instead of thinking as I don't know, you've heard this before a diet which has the root word die in it, let's think of these as lifestyle changes, right? So let's start with a reframe goal. Okay, for example, instead of setting a goal like I want to lose weight, think about the deeper purpose behind it. What problem are you trying to solve? Maybe you want to feel healthier? Your complexion, you want your complexion to be brighter. You want to eat cleaner, reduce inflammation, maybe even change the way you eat so you have more energy to keep up with your kids or even feel more confident in your skin.
Speaker 1:By focusing on the why, you can turn a resolution into a single solution that truly fits your life. So write it down. What is my why? Listen, and this is where I really want you to focus. When you know the why behind something, you make that your new standard for your life. So when it gets hard or you want to quit, or listen to what, and when all the why nots want to show up, you can remind yourself well, what's my why? Then my guess is you will want to win at all costs. When you know your why and here's what I mean that by that.
Speaker 1:Going back to me, for example, getting down off that career ladder. When it came to times that my son wanted to do things that were outside of my budget which would lead to single mom guilt, if I let it I'd ask myself well, what's my why? Why did I put myself on this tight budget and why did I choose to step off the career ladder? Oh yeah, my why was being a present parent at all cost. You see, I didn't want someone else raising my kid. I didn't want him at home alone either, nor in extended daycare while I focused on climbing a career ladder in extended daycare. While I focused on climbing a career ladder let's be honest, though, that would have had my income climb, but at what price? So instead, my single solution was to look for free and fun events in my area that I planned on the weekends ahead of time of when I had him and I would pack our lunches and off we'd go. But it was definitely free and it had to be fun. So, listen, your why has to be big enough, impactful enough, so when the why nots come for you, you don't let them in. Instead, you remind yourself why you closed the door on those opportunities.
Speaker 1:So let's get practical here and turn a resolution into a single solution. Right here. Resolution let's say you have a resolution of I want to save more money. Well, that's a really broad general goal that your brain can't follow. But if you adapted that to a single solution, like, I'll create a meal plan every Sunday so I stop overspending on takeout during the week. The single solution well, that is actionable and it's actually sustainable. It solves the problem instead of just scratching the surface. It's something that you can actually see. It's a stepping stone that you, my friend, put down on your path to single success.
Speaker 1:Now listen, single solutions. They aren't about perfection, so you're going to have to throw that one out the window. They're about creating small, simple, sustainable habits that grow over time. Think of it like planting seeds Each small step you take becomes part of a bigger, more fulfilling lifestyle. That happens over time. So in your Thrive in 25 journal, I want you to create another page titled Resolutions to Single Solutions. Okay, you're with me Now write down one resolution that you've made in the past and ask yourself what problem was I trying to solve?
Speaker 1:Then rewrite it as a single solution that feels actionable and realistic for you right now in your life. Remember, it's going to be about progress and not perfection, so don't be so critical here. So, as your success, it's important. Please take a moment and pause and really think about this and then come back. I'll be right here waiting for you, setting realistic and flexible goals that bend with you.
Speaker 1:Let's face it life as a single mom is anything but predictable that we can predict. That's why setting rigid goals well, they can sometimes feel like setting yourself up for failure. They're not flexible. Instead, let's talk about creating realistic, flexible goals that adjust with your season of life, so you're not constantly battling guilt or feeling overwhelmed. You ready, okay? So we're going to introduce what I'm calling the SMART. So let's do something smart. Okay, seriously, I hope you got your pen in handy and you're going to write this acronym down in your journal SMART S-M-A-R-T. The S is for specific, m is measurable, a is achievable, r is relevant and T is time bound.
Speaker 1:Now think about your goals like a GPS on your path to success. If you don't have a specific direction, you'll never reach your destination. A smart goal that's going to give you clarity and that makes your goal feel less like a pipe dream and more like a plan, but a plan that is actually actionable because you can see the steps. For example, instead of saying I wanna be more organized, try, I will spend 15 minutes every evening prepping for the next day. Now for you, I don't know. What does that look like? Is that maybe having the lunches pre-made coffee, pre-programmed clothes picked out for the next day, backpacks at the front door with all the homework assignments checked, dinner thawing in the fridge? I don't know. Ladies, you know what prep to do to give your tomorrow some pep in the right step. So think about that.
Speaker 1:And here's why flexibility is key, as your goals will bend with you. As a single mom, you know. We know that life can throw us curveballs out of nowhere A sick kid, an unexpected expense like going to the doctor and now having to pay for medicine, or even just an exhausting day that can derail the best laid plans. I know you've been there and that's okay. Flexibility, see, that's going to give us some grace to adjust our goals without feeling like we failed, and that, my dear, also gives you grit. So here's a quick journal exercise. And listen, I know I'm giving you quite the workout here, so I appreciate your flexibility.
Speaker 1:So, on this page, I want you to title this my Flexible Goals Plan, and I want you to do this. I want you to write down one long term goal you have for this year, for example, like saving $1,000 for an emergency fund. Now step two. I want you to break that down into smaller, flexible steps, like save $20 each week. Add a backup plan, because you know life happens when things don't go as expected, and that can say if I can't save one week, I will double up the next week. See, you have to remember here and this is where grace is going to be so important. You need to remember that progress is progress, no matter how small it may seem. The key here is to keep moving forward, even if the pace changes along the way, also being mindful to celebrate your failures, as we discussed last week, as your success. It's near Small wins, big changes, practical resolutions, slash solutions for single moms Now here's where we're going to get a little practical for single moms. Now here's where we're going to get a little practical.
Speaker 1:What are some resolutions or solutions that can make your life as a single mom easier, more joyful and more manageable? I have a few ideas of my own, from my own experience. Number one, may I suggest streamline your finances. The resolution could be create a weekly budget and stick to it. In fact, have fun with it. If you are a competitive person like me, I like to use this as a self-challenge to see if I could actually do it. When I go to the grocery store, knowing how much money I have planned to spend, I get excited to see if, how good I can get at doing just that. So when I come home, I look at my budget and we compare it to my receipt and I would see where either I save some Benjamins or needed to reallocate some. I prefer for me and this is just a pro tip a digital version like Google Sheets or Excel, because it's easily accessible and it does the math for me. So that was one long-winded resolution. So here's the solution Set up automatic savings transfers or try a budgeting tool like Mint or EveryDollar. I will have that link in the show notes.
Speaker 1:Number two prioritize self-care. Here's the resolution. Take 10 minutes a day to recharge. That was the resolution, but here's the solution. Whether it's a walk, journaling, breath work or even a cup of tea, make it a non-negotiable part of your day and remember your why. Number three how about do you have a goal as declutter your home? Well, maybe your resolution was like organize one area of your home each month, but here's a solution Break it into small tasks, like a drawer or a closet, to avoid overwhelm and feelings of having to do it all in one day.
Speaker 1:Number four strengthen your faith. Your resolution might have been to start each morning with five minutes of prayer or scripture reading, but here's a solution Use a devotional app or keep your Bible right there in your nightstand for easy access. Consider downloading the Pause app, which, again, I will have in the link in the show notes which offers a one minute yes, I said one minute guided pause with God daily. It's about building your spiritual stillness muscle to sit quietly and connect with him. How about number five? Do you have one that says build your support network? Your resolution might have sounded like connect with one single mom or community group this month, but here's a solution Join a local single mom support group. I know of one. Stay tuned to the end of the podcast for more information, or start by reaching out to a friend. Remember this is support, so there are sisters. They have to be sisters that are going to hold you up, not hold you down. Number six learn a new skill. The resolution may have sounded like take one free online course this year, but the solution platforms like Coursera, linkedin Learning or YouTube are great for affordable learning and I will have those links in the show notes.
Speaker 1:Overcoming guilt and pressure. So let's ditch the guilt that comes with feeling like we're not doing enough. Your resolution should serve you, not the other way around. So here are some declarations for a guilt-free mindset and again you may need to pause and come back to these. Number one I'm doing the best I can and that's more than enough. Number two God's got my back so I can give myself grace where I fall short. Three progress, not perfection, is what matters, and I'm moving forward one step at a time. Number four I choose to speak life over myself and my situation because God's promises are bigger than my problems. Number five guilt has no room in my heart, only faith, strength and the joy of God's love.
Speaker 1:Now for my sisters that like a little scripture. Here's a little sassy twist with Sherry. Philippians 4.13 says I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me, said Sherry, mama, you're unstoppable because Christ has your back. So toss that guilt and own your strength. Number two how about Isaiah 40.31? But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not be faint. A sassy Sherry twist to that is girl, you're an eagle, not a chicken. Hope in the Lord and keep soaring. Romans 8, 1. Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ. Said differently with Sherry no guilt, no shame, just grace. You're rocking this single mom. Life under God's love. Just thought we'd have a little fun there with scripture as well.
Speaker 1:Accountability without overwhelm. Now, this is going to be important because, listen, your success is going to be important and accountability is going to be a big key to that. Now, accountability doesn't mean pressure. It does mean support, just that. So you want to find someone who will cheer you on, not judge you. A sister, maybe, who has walked the season as a solo mama, maybe a few steps ahead of you or even alongside you right now, a confidant that you can confide in, who will not always tell you what you want to hear, but what you need to hear. A sister or a mentor who can sit down with you and that you can share your solutions for the year with, who can check on you to see how you're doing and even remind you of your why. A sister who will pray for you in this single season of life, pray for your transformation and your single success. A sister, when you are overwhelmed, will overwhelm you with her love in return.
Speaker 1:Interactive journal exercise. So we are gonna turn some resolutions into solutions and this is where we're going to close. So I'm gonna leave you with some homework and this is a little interactive journal exercise of turning our resolutions into solutions. So, warning, you may need to stop and pause this podcast to get it on paper, but for your ease, I will also include it as a link in the it's a Single Mom Thing Facebook group, where I will post a podcast episode post. Ah, you're not a part of that group? Well, be sure to check out my show notes, as I will give you a link on how to subscribe.
Speaker 1:So step number one we're going to reflect on the past and we're going to take five minutes here. Title a journal page called Lessons from Last Year. And then what I want you to do is write down what worked well last year. For example, I started a meal prepping plan and it saved me time. What didn't work? Example I joined the gym but stopped going after February. What made me feel most fulfilled, for example, was it spending quality time with my kids? Then number two.
Speaker 1:Step number two I want you to identify a resolution and turn it into a solution, and you want to take about 10 minutes here. Title a new page in your journal called my Solution for Thrive in 25. And think of one resolution you've had in the past. For example, was it losing weight, saving money or being more organized? Now ask yourself what problem does this resolution solve in my life? For example, losing weight gives me more energy to play with my kids. And then I want you to think about how can I make this resolution a lifestyle solution instead of a one-time goal, for example. Solution instead of a one-time goal. For example, instead of focusing on weight loss, I'll commit to taking a 15-minute walk every evening with my kids. Number three you're going to create a mini action plan and you want to spend maybe just about five minutes here. On the same page, jot down one small, actionable step you can take this week, for example, putting sneakers by the door to remind yourself to take a walk after dinner. Remember, it's about keeping it simple here.
Speaker 1:Step four speak life into your goals and, again, just take five minutes. This is five minutes of your time and on a new page in your journal, right at the top, words of life for my solution. Then write down a positive affirmation, declaration or prayer to encourage yourself. For example, it could say something like I'm capable of making small changes that lead to big results. Or God guide me as I make choices that bring joy and balance to my life. Step five track your progress, and this is going to be ongoing, so you're going to want to create a section in your journal for the wins of the week and that's what you want to title it Each week. Get excited and write down one success, no matter how small, related to your solution. It could be. I don't know, I walked three times this week.
Speaker 1:So, as I close, I'm going to ask you, ladies, can we make a new year, single solution this year? Let's make this year the year that we stop starting and stopping resolutions and instead focus on solutions that truly transform our lives, small steps that lead into big changes. And remember we've got this. Remember it's not about perfection. It's about showing up for yourself and your family, and here's some ways that you could do that right now, and I've included the links and what I'm calling the tool chest in our show notes. You can join our private it's a Single Mom Thing Facebook group where I will share weekly Monday Mindsets and Thursday Think Through it posts to keep you inspired and grounded. If you live in the Tampa Bay area, you can check out our it's a Single Mom Thing class that meets the second and fourth Tuesday of each month. Visit shepherdsvillagecom forward slash classes to view our year-long class schedule and to see the road to success that we are paving for you.
Speaker 1:Never miss an episode. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, iheartradio or Spotify, and if you love this podcast, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It certainly helps us reach more single moms just like you. And don't forget to check out the Pause app, a quick and powerful way to take a one-minute guided pause with God. It's an incredible tool to help you build your spiritual stillness muscle and find peace in your day. Have a wonderful week and remember it's a single mom thing and not the single thing that stops you. Thanks for listening to. It's a Single Mom Thing. I hope you enjoyed our time together. If you have more questions on how to have a relationship with Jesus or need prayer, visit us at wwwshepherdsvillagecom. Backslash prayer. For more information and resources, check out our show notes.
