Rewind Episode: "It’s All Relative When It Comes to the Relatives"

🎄 Rewind Episode: "It’s All Relative When It Comes to the Relatives" 🎄

Ah, the holidays! A time for joy, togetherness, and… navigating the delightful dynamics of family gatherings. Whether it’s Uncle Joe’s unsolicited advice, Aunt Karen’s casserole critiques, or co-parenting complexities, the holidays can sometimes feel more like a battlefield than a feast. Sound familiar? 🙃

As we gear up to gather with friends, family, and e-v-e-n the extended crew, let’s chew on this:
“Better a dry crust eaten in peace than a house filled with feasting—and conflict.” – Proverbs 17:1 (NLT) 🍞💨

The holidays are meant to be holy, harmonious, and full of love and laughter—but let’s face it, sometimes they come with a side of stress, a pinch of anxiety, and a dollop of drama. Whether you’re balancing relatives or co-parenting with an ex, setting healthy boundaries is the secret sauce to keeping your sanity and your peace. 🧘‍♀️✨

💡 In this episode, we’re rewinding to some timeless wisdom on:
👉 Keeping your perspective on point
👉 Maintaining harmony (even when the family group text is exploding)
👉 Setting boundaries that honor your well-being and your joy

So, grab your plate (even if it’s just dry crust—peace tastes better anyway), and tune in for tips to make your holidays lifted in love, laughter, and just enough grace to get through that second helping of awkward small talk. You’ve got this! 💪

🎧 Listen now and share with someone who could use a little extra peace on earth this holiday season.

Chapters

• 0:00 Setting Healthy Boundaries During the Holidays
• 4:42 Establishing Healthy Family Boundaries
• 10:20 Holiday Survival for Single Moms

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to it's a Single Mom Thing, the show for single moms by single moms. This is Sherri, your host, and I am happy you are here today. Remember it's a single mom thing and not the single thing that stops you. So as we get ready in the coming weeks to gather with friends, family and even extended family, I want us to feast on this. Better a dry crust eaten in peace than a house filled with feasting and conflict. Now I wish I could take credit for this morsel of wisdom, but the only credit I could take is for finding it the other morning when I was reading in Proverbs 17.1 in the NLT, which coincidentally pairs well with a blank podcast page I've had on my laptop for several months now, called it's All Relative when it Comes to the Relatives. Welcome to another episode of it's a Single Mom Thing. I just love, love, love when the Lord puts a podcast topic on my heart but doesn't give me the words to be spoken until his timing has come to pass. So, ladies and gents, this message has specifically been prepared for us as we prepare our dinner tables, our hearts, our gifts, our giving and our time this holiday season. So if you are listening in the United States, you still may be getting over the Thanksgiving leftovers and the hangovers from time spent with, yes, your family. Now let me digress here. Not the hangover that comes from glasses that runneth over, but more your patience that got runneth over from time spent with your relatives. Same pain, but without the bottle, but it may have left you bottled up.

Speaker 1: 1:50

The holiday and holy season is a time meant to be filled with cheer, celebration, joy and togetherness. However, it can also be a period of stress, anxiety and strained relationships, especially when managing family dynamics that don't include your immediate family. As the holidays approach, our to-do lists grow longer, our time and energy become shorter and our patience can wear thin, like our hairline, whether dealing with relatives or co-parenting with an ex-partner. Setting healthy boundaries is crucial to ensuring that the holidays remain holy, harmonious, lifted in love and laughter and balanced emotional well-being for all beings involved. So, having said that, how exactly do we do that, you may ask? You haven't had a seat at my turbulent and tumultuous turkey table. Now have you For me? This is my advice to you. I like to keep my perspective on point when it comes to the holidays, and that is, it is all relative when it comes to the relatives Managing expectations with boundaries.

Speaker 1: 3:07

So let me start with this second piece of advice that I have learned over the years, particularly when it comes to the other family boundaries. You see, boundaries play a pivotal role in maintaining peace and balance during the holidays. So listen, as a solo, you do not want to be outnumbered by the number of people in a room or in your kids holiday plans that may have plans of their own for how you or they spend it. Boundaries are a healthy and helpful way of creating a harmonious holiday experience while keeping it holy. Now, trust me, this is not one of those times when it's better to have let some things unsaid. You want to speak your peace, to keep the peace and a silent night. What's so awesome about boundaries, I have learned, is that they help manage expectations, time and emotions, and they should be communicated to both the other parent as well as your children in age-appropriate manners. So here are just six things that I have come up with for you to consider in implementing them. One the handoff. Agree on where, when and what times for holiday gatherings and celebrations. Clearly define the schedule to prevent misunderstandings and ensure a smooth transition between parents or family members and or new partners who may be joining in the reindeer games this holiday season.

Speaker 1: 4:42

Gift giving. This boundary will be a gift that keeps on giving through the years. If you present it now, it may seem trivial, but it is important to discuss how much each parent will spend on gifts for the children. Yes, girl, yes, you see. A set budget is especially important if there is a significant income disparity between co-parents, ensuring fairness and preventing competition, especially in this inflationary economy.

Speaker 1: 5:14

Access to children Determine ahead of time who can be around your children during the holidays. Protect them from unsafe, toxic or emotionally triggering individuals. Your children's physical and emotional well-being should always come first, even over your own Bedtime. Although it may seem petty, helping your children get adequate sleep is crucial for their emotional stability, even during the holidays, when school is out. You know your kids and you know how much sleep they need to be successful. But maybe the other parent or the relatives don't. Don't be quiet on the amount of quiet time your kids need.

Speaker 1: 5:58

Screen time. Set agreed upon limits on screen time, especially as kids who may move between two or more homes during the holiday. Screen time limits help maintain consistency and online safety. Now don't assume that everyone will screen what your little see, so it's great to share with others maybe some of the filters, parental controls, apps or restrictions you have found that have protected what those little eyes see and hear. You see, we want to keep sugar plums dancing in their head and not somebody else. Lastly, number six communication. If one parent spends more time with the other child or children during the holidays, establish a predetermined daily time for the other parent and children to connect via text, facetime, phone or video calls. This is great, especially if your kids are going to go out of town for the holidays with the other parent. Having a dedicated time allows your kids to enjoy the best of both worlds while they are world travelers Communicating boundaries.

Speaker 1: 7:07

So now that we have discussed how to manage the expectations using boundaries, we now must discuss the key to effective boundary setting through communication. Now, ideally, co-parents should already have a parenting plan that outlines these boundaries. Additionally, regular co-parenting meetings can be arranged to discuss children's schedules, life details, discipline, approaches and finances related to the children's needs. However, if the co-parenting relationship is strained, several parenting apps can simplify communication and planning. If you don't have a parenting plan in place, then gift yourself this holiday season by putting one together.

Speaker 1: 7:51

So what if boundaries are broken? What happens when your boundaries aren't respected? This is new and chances are this is going to happen until it becomes a habit. So it is essential to address it constructively, and the sooner the better. You wanna first acknowledge it. Recognize the broken boundary with love and truth. Ignoring broken boundaries listen, girl is only going to enable bad behavior. Number two effective communication. Approach the issue to improve the relationship, not prove yourself right. Choose a suitable time for a productive conversation, ideally when both parties are calm and the children are away. Number three we're going for progress, not perfection. Understand that you can't change another person. Focus rather on making progress in the relationship rather than seeking perfection.

Speaker 1: 8:52

Overcoming guilt Setting boundaries can sometimes trigger guilt, but it's important to remember that limits set in love protect and promote healthy relationships. They provide a safe place for everyone to go and grow. Guilt is more, I don't know, likely to arise when boundaries aren't set, potentially then leading to dysfunction. Instead, this holiday, let's keep the fun in our functions. So embrace those boundaries, as they will foster strength, more loving relationships that will, I promise you, gift you beyond this holiday season. So, as I close, let's remember the motive is love and respect Healthy family boundaries during the holidays are not about control, but about fostering love, respect and emotional well-being for everyone involved. As the holiday season approaches, take the time to discuss now and establish healthy boundaries with your co-parent, your loved ones, even if that's immediate and or extended family. Doing so, I promise, you will create the foundation for a joyful, harmonious and a holy holiday season for you and your family, as is all relative when it comes to the relatives.

Speaker 1: 10:20

As you enter this holiday season as a solo, whether this is your first holiday alone with your children or you've done this multiple times take it from me this season can be challenging. Let God meet you in each moment, starting now, and let us meet you in your need via prayer by calling us at 855-822-PRAY. No matter the day, even if it's a holiday, we are here for you. Have a wonderful week and remember it's a single mom thing and not the single thing that stops you. Thanks for listening to it's a single mom thing. I hope you enjoyed our time together. If you have more questions on how to have a relationship with Jesus or need prayer, visit us at wwwshepherdsvillagecom. Backslash prayer for more information and resources. Check out our show notes.