It's A Single Mom Thing
Welcome to “It's A Single Mom Thing”, the show for single moms by single moms.
Being a solo momma and present parent is hard work and it’s easy to lose your focus when you forget your faith. The good news is, that you are not alone, you were singled out in this season, and together we can work on what’s not working for you finding Christ in the crisis! Whether you are listening early in the morning or late at night, we are here for you!
Be encouraged. Get inspired. You can do this, momma.
Stay tuned as each Monday we will feature fresh and fun content and conversations as we join you on this journey from solo momma to solo momma. We promise not to take too much of your time and thank you for spending it with us. It may be a single mom thing, but it doesn’t have to be the single thing that stops you!
It's A Single Mom Thing
Seeing Clearly: Transforming Perspectives Shift for Single Moms
Ever feel like you’re not on the same page as others, especially the father of your child? In this episode, we’re diving into the powerful analogy of perspective and how it’s like wearing a unique pair of glasses.
Join me as we explore why everyone sees the world differently, how to keep your own perspective clear, and the importance of trying on someone else’s ‘glasses’ to build empathy and understanding. This episode is all about gaining clarity, improving communication, and embracing the power of perspective in your life.
Don’t miss out on this eye-opening discussion—tune in now and start seeing the world a little more clearly!
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It's a Single Mom Thing, Not the Single Thing That Stops You!
Welcome to it's a Single Mom Thing, the show for single moms by single moms. This is Sherri, your host, and I am happy you are here today. Remember it's a single mom thing and not the single thing that stops you. Have you ever tried on someone else's glasses and wondered if you were suddenly transported into a fun house? Everything's blurry, right Out of focus, and you may even think how on earth do they see anything? Well, that's kind of like the perspective in life, especially when it comes to dealing with the other parent and or their family. We're all walking around with our own unique prescription lenses on, and sometimes it's no wonder we're not seeing each other eye to eye. So, just like those glasses that don't quite match your prescription, our perspectives can be a little off when we don't take the time to understand where others are coming from. You see, each of us has our own pair of glasses that we wear every day, glasses shaped by our experiences, our emotions and our beliefs. But here's the catch no two pair of glasses are exactly the same. The way you see the world, the challenges you face as a single mom, and even the way you view your child's father these all look different through your lenses and, trust me, he's got his own pair of glasses. That makes everything look completely different too. Ouch, sometimes, though, we don't realize, our lenses might be a little smudged. Maybe they're fogged up by old hurts, frustrations or simply the day-to-day stress of juggling everything on your plate. And when our lenses are clear, it's easy to misinterpret situations, react based on cloudy judgments or miss seeing things from someone else's point of view altogether.
Speaker 1:Welcome back to another episode of it's a Single Mom Thing, aren't you glad you came today? So, as a fellow four-eye, I recently had this experience hit me right between the eyes. I was sitting at the beach taking in the sensational sunset when, suddenly, I took off my prescription sunglasses and lifted them up to the sunset to see what the view would look like from somebody else's perspective. What I saw was a different perspective than when they were on my face, and then I noticed I needed to clean my glasses. Now, if you found this podcast on social, those glasses that you see in the image, yeah, those are mine.
Speaker 1:So imagine trying to drive with smudged glasses. You're squinting, straining, maybe even making some wrong turns, because you just can't see the road. Clearly, the same thing happens in our relationships, whether it's with our kids, our friends or the father of our child. When our perspective is cloudy, we're not seeing the full picture. I am guilty as charged. So what do we need to do? Just like with real glasses, sometimes we got to take them off, give them a good clean and put them back on with a fresh outlook. This might mean taking a step back, reflecting on our own thoughts and feelings and asking ourselves am I seeing this clearly? Is there something missing because of my own smudges? And sometimes it's about trying on a different pair of glasses, trying to see things from the other person's perspective, even if it feels a little uncomfortable and or unfamiliar.
Speaker 1:Throughout this episode, we are going to talk about how to keep your perspective clear, how to understand the view through someone else's glasses, and why it's so important to keep your perspective clear, how to understand the view through someone else's glasses and why it's so important to keep an open mind. Because, listen, when we see things clearly, let's face it, sisters we are better equipped to handle whatever life throws our way. And maybe it's just maybe we'll find it easier to navigate those tricky relationships too. Different lenses, seeing the world through your own glasses All right, let's start by talking about those lenses we all wear. You know the ones that shape how we see the world around us, just like your favorite pair of glasses or sunglasses.
Speaker 1:Your perspective, well, it's unique to you. It's been crafted over time by your experiences, your challenges, your joys and even your heartaches. Think about it your glasses are the result of everything you've been through as a single mom, been through as a single mom. They're tented by the sleepless nights, the tough decisions, the small victories and the moments of pure love. They help you navigate the world, making sense of your reality in a way that no one else can fully understand. Am I right?
Speaker 1:Now, here's the tricky part. Because your glasses are so personal, it's easy to forget that other people, like the father of your child just saying, are wearing their own unique pair His lenses, ladies. Well, they're shaped by his experience, which my guess is they are very different than yours. Maybe they're tinted by his own fears, insecurities or past experiences and, just like when you try on someone else's glasses, his perspective might look distorted, blurry or completely off to you.
Speaker 1:Now, here's the importance of acknowledging different perspectives. Okay, so here's the thing we can't expect everyone to see the world exactly as we do right when we realize that everyone's wearing a different pair of glasses, well, it can help us approach our relationships with more empathy and understanding. Instead of getting frustrated because he doesn't see things your way, try to remember that he's looking through his different lenses. This doesn't mean you have to agree with his perspective that's not what I'm saying here at all but maybe you need to recognize that he has one that is different from yours and can be, in this case, the first step towards better communication. Think of it this way first step towards better communication. Think of it this way it's kind of like two people who can look at the same picture but notice completely different details, dependent on the lenses they're wearing. You've had that experience, I'm sure, at least once in your life. Also, here is something we also need to remember about glasses. Well, your prescription it changes with time.
Speaker 1:Now, recognizing that everyone has their own unique perspective is one thing, but what happens when your own lens gets a little foggy? How can you make sure you see things as clearly as possible, especially when emotions are running high? That's what we're going to explore next how to clean your glasses and ensure your perspective is clear, as it can be Cleaning your glasses, gaining clarity in your perspective. All right, now that we've talked about how everyone sees the world through their own unique lenses, let's focus on our own pair of glasses. Try them on, okay, got them on Great.
Speaker 1:So, just like with real glasses, over time, your perspective well, it can get a little smudged. You see, life happens, stress builds up, emotions run high and, before you know it, your view of the world isn't as clear as it once was. Understanding the need for clarity. Why do we need that? Well, as previously mentioned, imagine trying to drive with a pair of smudge glasses. Okay, it's frustrating, right? You're squinting and straining to see clearly, and that's when mistakes happen. The same thing can occur in your life, when your perspective gets a little clouded. Maybe you're feeling overwhelmed with responsibilities or there's this lingering resentment from, let's say, a past argument. These smudges can distort your view, making it harder to respond with patience and understanding. So I got you, girl.
Speaker 1:Here are four practical steps to clean your glasses. Number one pause and reflect Before reacting, taking a moment to check in with yourself. Ask am I seeing this situation clearly or are my emotions possibly coloring my view? Sometimes just a brief pause, like we discussed in last week's episode can help you reset and approach the situation with a clearer mind. Number two seek a fresh perspective. If you're feeling stuck in the mud, try to see the situation from, maybe, a different angle. This could mean talking it over with a trusted friend who can offer an outside perspective. Remember those different lenses we talked about.
Speaker 1:So here's a pro four-eyed tip. It can't be just anybody and somebody. You want to see things your way. No, girl. You need to find a friend who can give you clarity, not necessarily the same vision. Number three practice and empathy. When emotions run high, it's easy to focus on your own feelings and miss what the other person might be going through. Try to put yourself in their shoes or, let's say, their glasses, and even just for a moment, ask yourself what might they be experiencing right now that I'm not seeing. And number four take care of yourself, girl.
Speaker 1:Sometimes the smudges on our lenses are a sign that we need some self-care. When you're exhausted, stressed or even overwhelmed, it's much harder to see things clearly. Make sure you're taking the time to recharge, whether that's through rest, relaxation or doing something that brings you joy. So let's try this together, okay, Cleaning your glasses. It isn't a one-time thing. It's a practice. Just like you wouldn't let your real glasses get too dirty, before cleaning them, you should regularly check in with yourself to make sure your perspective stays clear. Now, by doing this, you're not only helping yourself see the world more accurately, but you're also better equipped to navigate the challenges that come your way in a course of a day, whether in your relationships, your parenting or even your personal growth.
Speaker 1:Seeing through others' glasses build empathy and understanding. Now that we've focused on cleaning our glasses, let's talk about what happens when we try to see the world through someone else's lenses. This can be one of the most challenging yet rewarding things we do, especially when it comes to navigating relationships with those people who see things differently than we do. But much like praying for your ex, that feels unnatural. Something supernatural happens when we see things from another person's point of view. Imagine this you got your glasses on, you're looking so fly and everything looks clear to you, right, but then you're in a situation where you just can't understand why someone is acting like a fool and why they're making certain decisions or why they don't see things the way you do. This, my girl, is where you try on their glasses. Seeing things from their perspective can make all the difference.
Speaker 1:Now, let's be real here. Trying on someone else's glasses? Well, they can be uncomfortable, it might even give you a bit of a headache. But here's the thing when you make the effort to understand where someone else is coming from, even if it's just moving the needle, the slightest bit, you open the door to better communication and deeper connections. Isn't that ultimately, if you're really honest with yourself, what you want for your kiddos to have with the other parent? Sometimes I have found it takes you going first to make that happen, even when I didn't want to. You know, at first I didn't see the results of it, but over time my son's father saw a change in me. He may not have started to see things my way, but we did see eye to eye on some things as it came to raising our son. So here's our next section. Here are five practical steps to build empathy.
Speaker 1:How do we go about trying on someone else's glasses without even completely losing our perspective? Okay, well, number one we're going to ask questions Instead of making assumptions which we know what that makes us about what someone else is thinking or feeling. Ask simple, open-ended questions like how do you see this situation or what's your take on this. That can provide insights that you may not have even considered. Two listen actively when someone's sharing their perspective, really listen. Don't just wait for your turn to speak. Try to hear what they're saying without judgment, and acknowledge their feelings, even if you don't agree with them. Three validate their experience. You don't have to agree with someone to validate your experience. You can say something like I see that's really important to you, or I understand this is how you feel. Validation doesn't mean you are conceding to anything. It's about acknowledging that their perspective is real and that it matters to them.
Speaker 1:Number four find a common ground. Even if your perspectives are different, there's usually some common ground. Maybe you both want what's best for your child or children, even if you have different ideas about how to achieve it. Focusing what you both care about can help bridge the gap between you and your perspectives. And number five give grace. Remember that everyone is dealing with their own struggles and sometimes people they act out of stress, fear or past experiences that have nothing to do with you. Giving grace means allowing space for those imperfections, just as you'd hope others would do for you. So let's try this together. Others would do for you. So let's try this together.
Speaker 1:When we take the time to see through other people's glasses, we're not just enhancing our own understanding. You know what we're doing. We're building stronger, more empathetic relationships, whether it's with the father of your child, a coworker or even a friend. Being able to step into their shoes and see the world through their eyes or, let's say, let's put on their glasses, can transform how we interact and even connect with one another. Now listen, you need to be easy on yourself, because it takes patience and practice to get used to wearing a new pair of glasses.
Speaker 1:So, as we wrap up, I want to leave you with this thought Perspective is powerful. It shapes how we see the world, how we interact with others and how we move through life. By taking the time to clean our own glasses and try on someone else's, we open ourselves up to a clearer, more compassionate view of the world around us. And guess what? Ladies, your kids are watching you too. So the next time you find yourself frustrated or at odds with someone, take a moment to pause, reflect and ask yourself how clear is my perspective right now and how might theirs be different from mine? Because when we approach life with clear eyes and open heart. We're not just seeing the world, we're truly understanding it. Thank you for joining me today. If this message resonated with you, I would love for you to share it with a fellow single mom or someone who might benefit from a fresh perspective. And, as always, ladies, take care of yourself and remember you are doing an amazing job. Until next time, keep those glasses clean and open your heart.
Speaker 1:Over the next couple of weeks, as we gear up for Gala, our annual fundraiser that supports this podcast and other single mom services at Shepherd's Village, I would like to take the time to thank a few friends of the ministry who, well they help single moms and their kids face their future with confidence. Today, our sponsor shout out is to Grounds for Grace Foundation and our dear friend Jean. Thank you for your village's support. We couldn't do this without you. Have a wonderful week and remember it's a single mom thing and not the single thing that stops you. Thanks for listening to. It's a Single Mom Thing. I hope you enjoyed our time together. If you have more questions on how to have a relationship with Jesus or need prayer, visit us at wwwshepherdsvillagecom. Backslash prayer For more information and resources. Check out our show notes.