It's A Single Mom Thing
Welcome to “It's A Single Mom Thing”, the show for single moms by single moms.
Being a solo momma and present parent is hard work and it’s easy to lose your focus when you forget your faith. The good news is, that you are not alone, you were singled out in this season, and together we can work on what’s not working for you finding Christ in the crisis! Whether you are listening early in the morning or late at night, we are here for you!
Be encouraged. Get inspired. You can do this, momma.
Stay tuned as each Monday we will feature fresh and fun content and conversations as we join you on this journey from solo momma to solo momma. We promise not to take too much of your time and thank you for spending it with us. It may be a single mom thing, but it doesn’t have to be the single thing that stops you!
It's A Single Mom Thing
Success in Silence - Bloom Where You Are Planted!
Personal growth is like a blooming garden, which happens in silence. In this episode, we are going to uncover and discover the secret to the hidden success found in silence using your isolating times for a time for growth and trust in God’s plan.
Today, we are reminded once again, that success is possible in your single season.
Learn to bloom where you are planted!
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It's a Single Mom Thing, Not the Single Thing That Stops You!
Welcome to it's a Single Mom Thing, the show for single moms by single moms. This is Sherri, your host, and I am happy you are here today. Remember it's a single mom thing and not the single thing that stops you. Success in the silence. What a strange topic that is, I thought to myself when I penned these words, but one that I'm not going to be silently sitting back and not sharing with you. Welcome to another episode of it's a Single Mom Thing, my single peeps. So, yes, as you can tell, we are back on the topic of success, and why? Because listen, listen. I really want you to believe and receive that you can have that now and, as we discussed before, it may look different than you think, even what you were taught, so my guess is that you may not even recognize it right in front of you. You see, success sometimes comes in the form of what I like to think of as a seed, that is, a seed that is planted for future growth. You may think, like I used to think a lot in my season of Single Silence well, how can anything good come out of this? Will this ever end, or is this even the end of a future that I once thought was possible. For me, life at that time seemed like one long run-on sentence to a story I did not want to be the main character in. I don't know if maybe you can relate Now, if you have thoughts similar to that or did maybe in your own way. Do you see, maybe, how you're not alone? So take comfort, you're not crazy. You are simply a single mom who has way too much on her plate and at times may feel she has lost her way. So ears on me. You listening, you are here, you're not lost and God has a plan for you, and I know you know that. But maybe you just need a little reminder. Listen to my words, okay, you listening. You can have success in the silence and bloom right where you are planted. So how does a garden grow?
Speaker 1:I've found from my own experience that a garden grows in silence. Even though a person may water it with some Miracle-Gro to accelerate the blooms and its growth, it still grows in silence. Think about it. A seed is planted and then it's watered and, if planted in the right spot, it gets just the right amount of sunlight for it to bloom right where it is planted at the right time. But it simply starts with a seed that's planted a few inches down underneath the fertile soil, that is placed in in the darkness alone, isolated and cultivated, for this amazing thing that happens while it sits there in silence. Bet you never thought about it that way. You know, I may not be a master gardener, but I do know something about growing right where you are planted.
Speaker 1:Growing up, my dad used to say to me Sherry, sherry, quite contrary, how does your garden grow? Funny, he's been gone almost 20 years now and I almost forgot that saying. And just until now, as I just said that to you, who knew? 20 years later, I would have a story to share with you on how a garden grows, moreover, that I would suggest that it grows in silence. If you've been tracking with me for a while, you know a lot of my story, but I don't think I've ever really shared with you the behind the scenes to my story. Much of my story, even now as I sit here and talk to you, a lot of it is spent in silence.
Speaker 1:As a single parent, it started with nothing to do. I was out of work for 13 months during the economic crash in 2008. I had no one to talk to as my friends were divided after the divorce, so they subtracted their time from me, my family. Well, they left the state, leaving me in a sad state of mind. Praise God, I had a retirement to provide for the many needs of my son and I during that time, but I was stripped of everything, including my identity. Dripped of everything, including my identity, my joy, my hope, my confidence, my direction and even my control. That's probably wasn't a bad thing. In a finger snap, my life spiraled out of control and left me in silence. I was alone and alone with my thoughts. Oh, what a scary place that can be. I didn't spend money on many things during that time, for well, really, I didn't know how long I was going to be out of work, so I made every cent count. As such, I did invest in my son's sanity by keeping him in daycare while I took care of myself during the day. Every day sounded like the last Silent.
Speaker 1:Now, as I'm an active person and I love me some sunlight, I would spend much of my day at the beach or at a park. Now you may think well, that's a vacation I want to take, but not if your mind isn't there to appreciate it. I promise you. You see, the beach for me was the one place I could go and not feel alone, but be alone, if you know what I mean. You see, I would place my beach chair close enough to people to feel like I was among the land of the living, but far enough away so they wouldn't see me cry.
Speaker 1:As this started to become my new normal, I started to notice the sounds of silence at the beach. Not the sounds of the kids chasing the seagulls, but the sounds the beach makes in silence. The way the waves crash as they start out the left end of the beach and then they slowly move to the right as they get closer to me in my beach chair and close to where I'm sitting and then they pass on by me. The way the wind sounded when it brushed through the Australian pines. The sound the sand and coquina shells would make when the waves would wash over them as they'd come into the shore and then rush back out to the sea. And the symphony of pelicans when they would fly in unison atop the heat waves that would carry them in their flight. Bet you never listened to the beach that way. Huh.
Speaker 1:As I started to pay attention to these things, the more excited I would be about my journey to go to the beach the next day and the more I noticed that my thoughts weren't controlling me. I actually started to enjoy the silence that I once feared. Then the strangest things started to happen. The quieter I got, the calmer my spirit was. And then stories, lots of stories, would come to my mind. They would flood my mind. I promise you would come to my mind. They would flood my mind, I promise you. I would walk the beach to listen to the waves and soak my feet into the sugar sand, enjoying how it felt between my toes. And then, all of a sudden, more stories would fill my head and my heart, stories that were just too creative for this creative to write. Oh girl, I got excited because these stories spoke of possibilities to me, even if I didn't know what to do with them, and they were different. They were different than the horror story I was living.
Speaker 1:So I started carrying a pad of paper and pen with me, and I would do the same thing day in and day out. I would simply show up, sit or walk to clear my mind, with no intention but to show up for myself and to start this long awaited healing process. I didn't go with the intention to write, but I made myself available if a story was going to be written on my heart. Soon they even started to show up before I'd go to bed, and while I was asleep I had pens and pads of paper everywhere. I was going to be Next to my bed, in my car, in my bathroom, in my backpack and in my purse.
Speaker 1:Now, mind you, in this season my circumstances did not change, well, not at the speed of some miracle grow like I had hoped For me. I was just a seed planted deep down in the soil, in the darkness, and I had no clue if I would ever come above ground again. The stories, you see, though. They excited me because they spoke to me, even if I never spoke to another person in the course of my day. As the seasons of life changed, my single situation would change ever so slightly, but I could tell something was growing inside of me that I couldn't explain. I had no clue why these stories were given to me. You see, I wasn't out of work single mom who was just trying to find her way out of this situation that I found myself in. Now I know some of you might be sitting there thinking, well duh, maybe they were given to you so you can make some money. And trust me, there was a time I did work on that, when I was once again out of work a common thing in this single season of my life and that's a story for another time. But check this as I worked to control the outcome of this book that I was determined I'm going to write and I'm going to make me some money, debilitating panic attacks became a new chapter of my story that I found myself in, so this story, along with all the others, were put on the shelf.
Speaker 1:Seasons of change. As my son grew up and would go between homes every other weekend, I did this thing that I craved like sunlight. I would wake up early every morning to sit in silence, waiting for the silence to speak to me. I know, I thought this. I know listen, I know. But let me tell you, it was in this silence that I could hear the voice of God. Even when I stopped talking to him years ago, I wanted nothing to do with him, especially in this deep and long season of single hurt. Why did he let me just sit there, buried beneath the weight of so much soil alone to toil with my thoughts that almost won the war for my life. Why did I have to lose everything, including myself? Even as I write this and speak this to you, the years of tears come back to my memory, as that time of my life was the most painful part of my past. That listen that prepared me for my present.
Speaker 1:I hope you're tracking what I'm saying here.
Speaker 1:You see, I found the relationship that was looking for me, jesus, even in my emptiness season that I now find myself in this single season of silence.
Speaker 1:I have asked why? Why have you left me here? Then one day, as I woke up early to sit in silence, he let me know it's time. It's time to bloom where I had you planted. Go find those stories you tucked away on your back shelf. It's time to put them on somebody else's shelf. It's time to share the words given to you in your season of silence so that they too will have success like you. That's you have success like you. That's you, the Master Gardener. You see, never before had the Bible verse James 1, 2 through 4 ever made more sense than in my season of silence.
Speaker 1:Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete. Lacking nothing, did you get that? Lacking nothing, now? I may not be a New York Times bestselling author or a world-renowned speaker, but I did start what I know God is going to finish.
Speaker 1:I sat in silence in the long summer months illustrating the stories he gave to me to share. While my friends were out soaking up the sun or having fun with family on vacation, or my single friends were going out on dates with other guys family on vacation or my single friends were going out on dates with other guys, I was home in silence, content, full of joy and excited to see what my first story started to look like as I added pictures to them. Funny, that is not how I figured my summer would be. You know what I saw? A beautiful garden that finally had come above ground. No tear was wasted. It was all used to water the garden of my heart. That gave me the strength to sit in silence and bring his story to life.
Speaker 1:Now listen, please hear me. This is not about me, okay? Or even about me trying to sell you some book. This is about you, and I hope that you can hear yourself in this. This is about sharing with you one of the secrets I learned about success, and one that I didn't expect to find.
Speaker 1:Success I find from time to time it happens in silence. Are you distracted by the thoughts of lack, unworthiness, fear, anxiety, even worry that keeps you from sitting still? And still enough for him, for our Lord, to share what he has for you. Listen, y'all. He has planted a treasure inside of you. He has planted a treasure inside of you, don't you want to discover it? You've heard me say this before. You are meant for more, and if you are his, you know that he wastes nothing. He can make beauty out of brokenness. So maybe consider this Don't waste your time on things that are stealing your time that you could actually spend with him.
Speaker 1:Now, listen, I do realize I was a single mom. I do realize that your house may not be silent. You got your kids but I'm talking about all the moments in between, the moments when you feel your bathroom walls know more about you than your best friend does. I mean, come on seriously, I cannot be the only person here who feels like the walls are the only thing that I get to talk to in a course of day. Let's be honest here you do have some time to spare. Trust me, carpool line bathroom while you're cooking? I don't know, find it. He will spare nothing if you share some of it with him. He will show you the way. He will sit with you in the soil and he will tend to your garden. He is the master gardener and even though you may have made a decision or decisions for your life contrary to his word, listen. If you turn back by repenting, you will hear his voice in the silence directing your every step. But you will never know the way if you don't plant yourself in some silence when you make this a habit of your life, as I did. Soon you will hear in the midst of chaos at work, when someone's talking to you working out, listening to music, while your kids are yelling and fighting between one another. You will begin to hear his voice cultivating you.
Speaker 1:You see, contrary to the world's beliefs, success doesn't happen once the garden comes above ground. It starts with the seed that was planted. Success is what you do with that seed when no one is looking, what you do in private to grow it, how you choose to spend your time keeping it growing in fertile soil. Success is when you can sit in silence and be content right where you are, even if it's not somewhere you would plant yourself. That's where God can grow you and grow you into the plans he has for you. When you spend time with him in that soil, you see what happens are your roots. They begin to grow and they ground you, stabilizing you. So when you do come above ground, you stand out, not fit in, so you can serve someone other than yourself. So when you speak, you speak with the seasoning, the flavor that came from the seasons of change, so you can add value to another person's life when there's less of you. So when you find success, it's not found in the things you can buy, but it's found in the one who bought you with a price, and that's more than enough for you. Success is when you realize you lack nothing, but everything has been given to you. You are right where you are supposed to be. So stop fighting it, sit in silence and bloom where you are planted, because listen, girl, success is happening. Oh yeah. So to take a look at the book God shared with me, go to amazoncom to find the Broken Shell by Sherry Chandler. Want to develop your story and you live in the Tampa Bay area? Come to. It's a Single Mom Thing class and support group that meets the second and fourth Tuesday each month. Come on, why have I not seen you yet? Visit shepherdsvillagecom forward slash classes to view our schedule and save your seat.
Speaker 1:Today. It's that time of year as we get our kids ready to go back to school, woo woo. But what about you? Can you school yourself? On a new train of thought? Check out Shepherds Village University, our e-learning program for single moms like you. Dive into subjects on financial freedom, spiritual wellness, essential life skills and healthy parenting. Start and stop at any time, picking up right where you left off. Back to school madness got you a little stressed out and you need some prayer and care. Or have you been listening and are a little unsure about your faith? Is it sitting on the fence? Call us at 855-822-PRAY. We would love to talk to you. We are here for you day and night. Have a wonderful week and remember it's a single mom thing and not the single thing that stops you. Thanks for listening to. It's a Single Mom Thing. I hope you enjoyed our time together. If you have more questions on how to have a relationship with Jesus or need prayer, visit us at wwwshepherdsvillagecom. Backslash prayer. For more information and resources, check out our show notes.